i am ignited,
flames of fear lapping at my feet.
i try to cry out, to ask for help
but ash fills my mouth.
bitter,
much like my regard for myself.
mind made of matches, i am my own arsonist.

why must you compare pain
someone can drown in an ocean
while someone can drown in a pond
the point is,
they both drowned

i once took shame in this struggle.
closed blinds,
empty body
'nobody needs to know'

believing myself to be a burden, i buried myself.

i spent years decomposing,
cold and unrecognizable.
a fossil of my former self.

but now i hold the shovel
and free myself from this earthen cage.
i am beginning to understand that there is beauty in asking for help,
and i have planted the seeds of self love.
watch as they grow roots and blossom

-here's to a fresh start