My mind races, I can't control it & I fear I'll **** up again because I can't organize my thoughts

I just want to ******* shut it off

I shutter when I look at her,
so fine,
her beauty shines
right on
through her lens,
I seriously loose my focus.
My f-stop goes
up and
down
the entire scale.
She is the perfect exposure....
**** digital technology,  
I am going back to film.

How the **** could you promise to give me everything..
And then take everything away from me?

Everything just slowed down
I am feeling strangely numb again

I can honestly say I am disgusted

Dear Mr. I'm Too Good For You,

This is a thank you letter.

Sure, it was painful.
It was shocking.
It was stupid of you.

But in so many ways,
It was wonderful.

Now that you're gone,
I've never felt so free.
Trust this, I'm not lonely.

Thank you for leaving me.

If you had stayed
I would have never
Grown up so much.

If you had stayed
I would have never
Flirted with your buddy.

If you had stayed
I would have never
Been really happy.

So thank you.

You've changed my life
For the better.

Sincerly,
The One That Got Away