i cry and smell my childhood
through my stuffy nose
and i wish i was a little child again
late at night where i can scream
and feel mother's arms around me
and then she will bring me cherry juice
but instead of cherry juice i see and taste blood
instead of warm arms i feel my own clawing at my skin
and i feel as old as 90
with only hatred surrounding me
mom doesnt hold me anymore
because im grown
go hug yourself
and go take your skin off while doing so
and rest

sometimes i wish i left my nails long
because in moments like this
i really want to scratch and shape them
on my skin
until they get red
a pretty vibrant color

How can emptiness be so heavy?

i live in this store
where everything is 99 cents
people every day come around and look
they touch they call to ask is it okay to buy this
im nice to them i give it all away just for that price
but then at least once a year
they see        ((    it    ))        in the corner with the blue walls
no matter how much i hide it
it is for special clients
but no
they all start screaming angrily
''why is it 1 dollar this is a 99 cents store?''
and they all want it they always touch it
without permission
slowly or roughly
and then with eyes wide open they run
and never buy it
my skin hanging everywhere
and a ****** pig heart
just for all of you
to see

whats cooking good lookin i ask
they smile a big smile and i see shark teeth
i look down and see a hole in my chest
i run as they chase me and jump out of the window
when i wake up it starts all over