This will not be a flowery prose
Wrapped in an imaginary love heart
This will be my new beginning
Writing this will be a start

This is not a love story
That people love to hate
There is just the start and then the end
In between does not even rate

This is not where I will beg
With flowery words of love forgotten
This is where I’ll say to you
To me, all we had now smells rotten

This will never be a love sonnet
Whispered through the sands of time
But to me, as I remember all to be
It will remind me of you, you slime!

This is not a love poem
No longer even a love song
The bitterness of my tears
Have dragged on far too long

This is not the happy ending
I dreamed of to be true, so
This is where you kiss my ***
While assuming I’ll pine for you

(just cross out the non applicable)

Helen was
a great chick/a stupid *****/my best friend

Her last words were
**** this ****/is that Saturn?/is this the end?

She always made me
toast for dinner/creeped out/laugh until I peed

She reminded me of
rain showers in sunshine/Chuckys bride/a most persistent ****

She always thought of
others first/her own miserable hide/ Wine

She devoted herself to
Family/Debauchery/Wine

She will know I'm here today because I
had the day off/wanted to make sure she's dead/want to go with her

She will probably be ******* if I
cry/stabbed her again/kissed her

She will know who
laughed at the sad bits/ drank the holy water/climbed into her casket

She will be thrilled if
tissues are unused/no one gropes her Husband/she fits in a Handbasket

Where are all the carnival rides
The Ferris wheel with bright lights
The fairy floss and cherry cokes
and the warm sultry nights
The call of the racketeer
encouraging all to take a chance
Where's the monkey you carried
just so we could hold hands

Where are all the park benches
that used to ring the pond
Where are the acres of green grass
where we sat as you sang me our song

and where have all the ducks gone?

Where has gone the soda shop,
the big band dance halls
and the local Ihop?

There stands the apartment block
where our little house once stood
Where have all the children gone
that we once watched from the stoop

Where are the endless games
of hide and seek and peek a boo
Where's the night gone, the fires out
Where is the heartbeat of our intimacy we shared in our bedroom?

Its all there in the asbestos ceiling
and in the plaster that is cracked
it crinkles beneath fingers
of cold cotton bed sheets
sterile of comfort and it lacks
the vibrancy of emotions
from another lifetime
Laying still, awaiting the ground
It drifts like fog in an ageing mind

When we are born
there's no Wrong
or Right
there's no Black or White
there's no indecision
We sleep when we're tired
we eat when hungry
We cry if something's not right
we laugh at anything funny
We see with perfect vision...
At Kindergarten we make our first
Best Friend
The one person that held our hand
when milk time was a disaster
and we napped together
and home time came faster
because Friend times Fun
equals Time goes By
and One plus One
equals Forever Mine
In Little School we first meet
Prejudice
It's the pretty girl
wearing the pretty dress
while your hand me downs
scream your secret shame
It's her you blame
when your lifetime friend
who wore the same milk mustache
as you at Five
takes her side
the waves of I don't get it
washes over you on a tide
of unreasonable insanity
but your Vanity is total
to One minus One
equals Alone on a Beach
totals I Am No One
By High School you're confused
by the elevated status
of the praying mantis
the chickadee that seems to be
an all boy zone that is open 24/7
and the gentleman
that snakes out his hand
to land on your rear end
euphemistically called
the Octopus  
by then...
You've never really got it...
It made no sense
as the informative years
just saw you sitting
upon a bench
crying tears
that you eventually sniffed
upon you Third winter sweater
gazing upon a frozen pond
in the middle of an empty park
you saw the cracks the ice skaters
didn't
but it didn't make you feel better
So you call out... Crack in the Ice!
They look blankly at you twice
and continue to skate
with their own voice in their head
With a shrug your mantra sighs
I did what I could, I can't beat
someone else's vice...
Here come the working years
here comes the awkward fears
Of What if I'm not good enough
Where do I go when I've had enough
Where are my friends that I never made
What if I can't make new friends
Who can I talk to at the end of the day?
So heartbreaking...
to know that your best friend
that wore the same milk mustache
got married 2 years ago
and you weren't invited to the wedding
Even though you lived 2 doors down
for nearly 15 years, shared boy stories
and plenty of chocolate talking
and now she's having her second baby
while her husband is Manager
of the local Tyre King
and stupidly I thought
She got everything!
Except that I couldn't go to her wedding
because I was in South America
and I remember my Mother called
and said You remember Yvette?
She's getting married to Steve
he's going places, they'll have a family
next July, the joy on their faces!
So dear, how's things in Africa?
and I laughed with sorrowful Joy
at my mothers voice and said
Well Mom, the sky is Red
bleeding with sorrow
for all the animals slaughtered
but here's one truth about your daughter
She's actually in Brazil
about to board a boat
to travel further south
to places remote
to take vital medicines
and vaccines to those with no hope
She's taking her fully qualified Doctor
self, alone
Unmarried is not unfulfilled
Solitary is not a life sentence
our lives could be filled with
a million people, but in silence
eventually we'll get it

"If you had a gun, I'd ask you to shoot me right now"

If I had a gun, I'd put it to my own head
Just so I could never hear those words again

I'll never forget laying at the foot of your bed
As you spoke about dying or the things that you said
Halfway through your contemplation of your life
You fell asleep and I was left laying like you stabbed me with a knife

But I laid there, at the foot of your bed
waiting for you to repeat everything
you said, I laid there in dread

Then you woke and continued
like you had never spoke
and asked once again
"Do you have a gun?"*

No, I don't have a gun
I can't pull the trigger
on all of your nightmares
but somewhere, out there
you've hallucinated
all of reality, it seems
you were unable to leave
until I aimed the barrel
between the eyes
of all your dreams

The best we can do
is simply to remain true
To Ourselves, to Others
To our fathers and mothers

The best we can do

is to look into a mirror
reflections are hard to face
petty hatreds are like wrinkles
they have their own story place

the best we can do

and this last is so true
Is to be one person among so many
because if we try too hard to be another
then we truly are not any....

my 10 year old daughter Chelsea started rapping at me and I was put on the spot, this came off the top my head... I'm not a huge fan of rap! She came back with the second half!
Feel free to add in the comments, she would love it! I'll edit it all together for her :)

Helen
Only once I wanted to be a mime
So I stopped talking af_ter a time
In a while I wasn't heard at all
Wonder if its because this stupid wall

Chelsea
*My name is Nancy
and I'm so fancy
Good and bad don't hafta rhyme
and now it's time to be a Mime
once I saw a pug in a mug
so I just shrugged
and chugged that mug

I trace your faded prints upon the dirt
around them, mud congeals to form my hurt
failing falling stars confuse my path

I shuffle feet for miles but stay inert
all false the trails refusing to subvert
antipathetic strands to stir my wrath

The trees all flay themselves to spill the secrets
thou swore undying oath to never keepest
lest all worlds align to hide the truth

Pausing, taking breaths beneath the deepest
floors of pits that tenderly would keep us
undestined, lost and wild to know our youth

And seek you out I must, I must, I will,
at universe's end, a galaxy
where we would rest, reborn; become, to be
where every breath relaxes into still

Ever will you walk alone, until
you witness me in my entirety
Come, my unforgotten one, you see
arrival less one is a bitter pill

I never wanted nature
to represent hope
or the Sun or the Moon
to become my home
I never wanted the stars
that fill the night sky
to interrupt my empty thoughts
as I sat idilly by
I never wanted humanity
to slip beneath my skin
or the birds in the trees
to remind me
that I too, could fly
if I only had wings
I never wanted to pass
the couple on the street
and see their linked hands
and just understand
that's always never going
to be me
I never wanted to shout out
with another's smoke scratched
voice
but apparently
it's not a
choice

fly, be free

                                 A
                            B        C
             ­           D                E
                            F      ­  G
                                 H
                                    I
                 ­                     Just
                                       Kid
                                          L ove
                                           Me!
                                          No
    ­                                     One (ever did)
                                         Perhaps
                                        Questions
                                      Reveal
                                    Secrets
  ­                                  Time
                    ­                Unknown
                                   ­ Vows
                                     Whimsical
                                       X haling a breath
                                       You land in my
                                      Zone

Imma gunna
create a new
persona
complete with
stupid backstory
an' a picture
of some random
that's pleasing
to the eye
to enable
my ****** glory
and help spread
my *******
to the world
because my ego
demands
to
be
heard!

It hit muddied from the get go
Life got messy so early
It got ***** and down low
Just hit messier, you know?

It got tangled in briars and thorns
it hit shitastic in a fierce light storm
Life gets messier every forsaken day
This **** is too messed up to stay

It tumbles like weeds on empty streets
and begs like one dollar hookers
or urchins addicted to simple treats
because that's all they get to eat

no one will ignore the lookers

Life got messy at the crack of Dawn
she swallows nails, upon a yawn
she pretends so succinctly, to be the norm

When did this Life become forlorn?

Life got messy when I picked up the knife and turned it back and forth
beneath flickering fluorescent lights and pretended I knew what it's for

Now I'm not so sure

Should I mess up my skin?
Should I mess up my Ex?
Should I carve my initials
into the the tree I thought
we would again meet at next?

Life just got messier
when I realised my age
my circumstance, my stance

It gets even messier when
you dig to the back of your closet
and find your skinny jeans
you'll never ever fit again
without a Godsend chance

Life *****, Life is Love
Life means nothing but,
is everything
Life blows, Life is messy
I'd give everything
to do it again

twinkle brightly within their eyes
whisper nothings they exhale as sighs
be their every breath they take
be their very worst mistake

be their moment, be their sin
be their beginning, be their end
be a verb or be a noun
be their slippery ***** to ground

be the night star in their skies
be the sunshine in their eyes
be the one who makes them cry

be the one who makes them laugh
be the dumb to their smart

be their Mom, be their Dad
be their Lover, be their Sad
be there Tomorrow
be their Yesterday
be there Forever
when they don't stay

****** a Poet!
its so simple
its the little things
that make a ripple
spreading outward rings
into the Universe

how to ****** a Poet?

be their  
*First

wear that
                  wear this

Smile

don't laugh

don't. even. think

about the                aftermath*

little princess
in your pretty dress

little prisioner
naked beneath satin

little faker
pretending less

little liar
it's not the end

moisture wets dry tongue,
drink in the adulation
that you ****** upon

glass
    is sharp
        when
         broken

tongue
    is sharp
        with
         harsh

words spoken

cut
     like glass

lash
     like steel

deaf ears
blind eyes

don't care
    how
           you
                  feel

Tick tock, Tick tock, Tock Tock ticking
Clocks cluck, catching curious cries
Several seconds slide, slowly sticking
Eclectic evil ever eager to eat out eyes

Tock tock, tick tick Tock
danger dances down, depicting doom
Hands hold hearts heavily in hock
aren't all able to articulately assume?

Clock is currently counting costs
justifying jumps and juggling jacks
tabulating time that is tossed
lightening liberal lust and loving lax

tick tick tick, tick tick tick
destination is a detonation despised
tock tock tock, tock tock tock*
sheep sleep soundly shrouded, so surprised

I Stopped to Pick a Flower

I saw today, a little Mayflower
blooming from the broken ground
born from a dry earth and dry eyes
It grew there without a sound

I stopped to smell, and maybe touch,
it's dewy visage was a delight
I saw today a little Mayflower
that had grown throughout the night

I'm sure I've said it a thousand times
Life comes with no guarantees
Don't weep for me, for the lesson you see, is I am that little Mayflower

I like the picture of you
all silk skin and lean muscle
but not everywhere
giggles
I just stop to stare
Completely mesmerised
I like to practice kissy faces
into the mirror of your eyes
I like how the milk from
your breakfast cereal
runs down your chin
I want to chase it
with my tongue
I like how the honey
that drips from your pancakes
reminds me of *** and sin

I like how we have
the same routine
Wake up, make up
Shower together
my hand prints
shoulder high on the screen

I like to do yoga poses
to the moves you make
as you ride your girlfriend
but, make no mistake
I have a headshot of me
with a bit of blu tac on back
that I can move around the screen
whenever she's in the scene
and...
I'm liking how you ride me!
It's like Yoga nirvana!
you'll never find the cameras...

I Love you and bananas!

He was under the couch
next to two dollars
which bought me lunch
at McDonalds
I sat God next to my Gold Buddha
and what do you know?
My luck ran out
the very next day
I hate to say
that while the two dollars
filled my belly
for a little while
God seemed clean me out
quicker than a day old burrito
from Taco Bell
and reminds me
to never introduce Him
to my friends
Two dollars was an awesome find
who knows what lives
beneath a couch?
A word of warning
Grab the money and run!
Leave everything else!

My only being
Other than just me
Ticked upon a clock
Heard by the second
Every other thought stopped
Remarkably I shook

Being the centre
Less the universe
Every little thing
Solidified each corner
So proud of my Son/Daughter
Enchanting my life
Down to the last quarter

Being the centre of a tiny life
Enriches more than fantasy

Another day, another's breath
Narrows the arrows of what may be

Another holds your heart in hands
Noting that no one stands in stone
Guess I always wanted a
Eulogy that would make
Little footsteps not walk alone

While others keep on trying
In indelible artifice
Trying hard to hold onto things
Hiding their tears in pillows
Only to have their diamonds
Uncut their bleeding fist
Tightly grasped, un thrown

We give birth, we give life
In eternal gratitude
Never do we ask
Give us back what we give you
Should you never feel you could

I've been blocked
well an good
by some obtuse
butthurt mindfuck

cant believe my luck!

but please unblock me
long enough
to delete your unread
message (so I can clean
up your verbal Diarrhea)

It's annoying
to me
as its messing up
the aesthetics
of my screen

Have your ever stood on the edge
And wondered?
What does the Black feel like?
Is it that soft brush against your skin?
Which raises the hackles?
Or would it cling like tar
Hot and sticky
Seeping into your pores and
Down to your very soul
Solidly encasing it in stone.
What does it taste like?
Does it brush against your lips
A whisper, a kiss?
Or does it flow down your throat
Choking, clogging, no air.
And what smell would it have?
Would it be a gentle reminder
Of a distant memory, buried deep
Or would it slam into your senses
Like a wind carrying the scent
Of Long Forgotten memories
That wound the heart.
If I took that step, from the edge
Would the Black softly receive me
Or burn forever, relentlessly?
Would it gently beckon me or
Would it reach out its long bony fingers and
Seize me
With no choice?
Have you ever wondered?

If I had a Dollar
for all the times I trusted you
when you said
There will be No Regrets
Oh wait…
I did
and I was finally able
to buy a packet of cigarettes

If I had a Dollar
for all the times I remembered
when you said
Baby, you’re the only one
Oh wait…
I did
and I was finally able
to buy a packet of chewing gum

If I had a Dollar
for all the times I listened
when you said
My Darling, you do that well
Oh wait…
I did
and I finally bought a ticket
out of this Hell

If I had a Dollar
for all the times
I regretted
all the things
I heard
and reviled everything
that you said
I’d be Rich
beyond my wildest dreams
And my dreams
are so poor
I would even pay you
A Dollar
to take them
from my head

It doesn't Help... but it doesn't Hurt either...

I once got kicked out of the library
for moving all the Bibles
to the Fiction section
Not mentioning the time
I was escorted
from the casino
because I completely
misinterpreted the meaning
of the Craps table
whats up with that?
Then there was the time
I dumped a whole packet of cornflakes
in front of my blonde friend
and she still couldn’t make the picture
look like the one on the box....!
And I really shouldn't mention....
I once knocked upon the hatch
of an Irish submarine
I know, I know, a nasty trick!
And then there was the time
I put three shovels in the corner
And told my less than
smartest friend
to take her pick!
***!
I laughed so hard
as she started to go mad
and pull her own hair out!
And on the day
she sent me a text message
asking me what the hell
did *I D K mean?
When I replied with
I Don’t Know
I swear I heard her shriek
from a million miles away
even as my phone beeped
and the message read
*** NOBODY KNOWS!!!
I swear!
It’s the most delirious that I have been!
The hilarity that ensues
when you realize that
Ernie truly is nothing** without Bert
I know it doesn’t help
But I love how it doesn’t hurt!