my hands
they are starting to
not feel like me

and my mind
its telling me
who I need to be

love is what I need
and I just need
someone to be with me

the day is coming up
and I dont
want to be reminded
of all the bad memories
why would you ditch me
for a drug deal
you could do any time of the week

the day is coming up
and I dont
want to be
reminded of the day
my dad proposed to my mom
because it means nothing to me.

such a beautiful day for others
is such a sad day for me
and it doesn't mean anything to me

such a beautiful world
that I am able to see
the blue sky
it reminds me of the sea

as the sun sets
colors form
clouds shape
it's so interesting to me

I love my life.

and the only thing
that is keeping me alive
is the dumb thoughts
that I can ramble together
to create a
"beautiful piece of writing"
when there is nothing
beautiful about
wanting to **** yourself

I treat myself
like a lunatic

but really
I'm just a girl
with too
much space
that is very lonely

I'm just a girl
with too much
thinking time
that kills off
my mind.

I'm just a girl
who listens
to those ****
sad songs
to make herself
feel sane
when really
she's anything but sane

and I really do
hate the me I am

I use
to have a solution to
any feeling I had

your love
acohol
blades

and everything's gone

and I sit here
thinking about my addictions

and oh how easy
it could be for me
to slip back
into old me

she's been gone
for almost a year

she's in my mind
yelling at me
saying
"dear god get me the hell out of here"
begging me
to let her be free