If freckles were lovely, and day was night,
And measles were nice and a lie warn’t a lie,
Life would be delight,—
But things couldn’t go right
For in such a sad plight
I wouldn’t be I.

If earth was heaven and now was hence,
And past was present, and false was true,
There might be some sense
But I’d be in suspense
For on such a pretense
You wouldn’t be you.

If fear was plucky, and globes were square,
And dirt was cleanly and tears were glee
Things would seem fair,—
Yet they’d all despair,
For if here was there
We wouldn’t be we.

Humanity i love you
because you would rather black the boots of
success than enquire whose soul dangles from his
watch-chain which would be embarrassing for both

parties and because you
unflinchingly applaud all
songs containing the words country home and
mother when sung at the old howard

Humanity i love you because
when you’re hard up you pawn your
intelligence to buy a drink and when
you’re flush pride keeps

you from the pawn shop and
because you are continually committing
nuisances but more
especially in your own house

Humanity i love you because you
are perpetually putting the secret of
life in your pants and forgetting
it’s there and sitting down

on it
and because you are
forever making poems in the lap
of death Humanity

i hate you

i will wade out
                        till my thighs are steeped in burning flowers
I will take the sun in my mouth
and leap into the ripe air
                                       Alive
                                                 with closed eyes
to dash against darkness
                                       in the sleeping curves of my body
Shall enter fingers of smooth mastery
with chasteness of sea-girls
                                            Will i complete the mystery
                                            of my flesh
I will rise
               After a thousand years
lipping
flowers
             And set my teeth in the silver of the moon

With icy crystal clear melting sunshine
She and the wind became one.

One breathing pulsing beating hope, entity.

Replay certain songs that make the heart want to run.

Placing on an eye mask at night to force the darkness of sleep
4 nights in a row now, I have dreamed of them all

And it hit me like the wind swelling and urging me on
Its not just him. I'm not all that angry or hurt at him.
Its the combination, accumulation
The loss of it, of them all.

Dreams reordering and shining a light on things
Too real, too real
I open my eyes as if I am Scrooge
Revisiting the ghosts and realities of my past
I don't have to be so angry
I don't have to ache
I don't have to hurt so much, so deeply
Its part of who I am now
But its not any one thing

And surely thats gotta be the wilting and glistening cherry
To the tippy top of the cake labeled
"Disappointing Love"

Now let us throw the cake away
And feed it to no one.

Jittery anxiety.
Friday, ******* Friday.

I listen to an old play list and shake my head
SMH. SMH. SMH.
We abbreviate and indicate
Just how the spring sunshine feels.

Gotta get painted up tonight like a canvas
I run and I run through fire clad hoops
Sprinting and leaping right through them
But don't ******* add me back to the group
Cuz I don't trust either of us.

I talk to myself in a frenzy in the shower
Maybe **** will help make me feel calmer
Big, big weekend.

And it makes me think back to the time
The little mansion, vineyard
Happy April ******* fools
We talked about buying a dog
In my green beanie, our bed & breakfast
One of the many loves of my life
That I so graciously
Watched echo and blur
Right out the door.

I've made vibrating art out of it all
And I'll always do so.

Didn't mean to disappoint or frustrate that artist
But ain't had nothin' to do with me
I'm kickin' and swimming in my own current
Motherfuckahs.

But I should watch my jargon, my speak
But all I can really do is be me.

My eyes are tired
Work wants me to work more
But I need time, gotta have time
I hand out flyers, a big grin on my face
I don't know what I want.

That seems to be the through line in these little 11 months
Happy April Fools.

My women and I
Our swords blaze up in fiery glory
Our shields made up of fancy homemade meals and lace
Our helmets vine leaves and four leaf clovers
I ride atop a unicorn
Shouting triumphant beauty and red roses.

Happy Friday & April Fools
I blow dry my hair, paint my face
Paint my body, I'm one to notice.

I move and leap through hoops of fire.

Reckon this is just kinda how it's gonna roll, roll down the rainy Windows outside the worm hole cafe

Every weekend gonna be big
It was so much easier to just
Hold the camera in my hands
Just my 3 sisters and me
But it's about scope
I urge and persuade
I nod and calm my nerves
To Animal Collective
Sitting in a blue lounge chair

Probably just need to get ****** pretty soon.

But I feel so, feel so
Asexual.

Backless dress, so inviting
We hum across ocean waves
What makes me special?
Does anything I do actually matter?
I turn my music up louder.

Nod. Nod. Remember remember.
I don't know
I don't know
Early 20s.
Modern day flapper
Movie maker.

I went from dedicating poetic words
To him
Nope scoot over
Him
Door shut so unexpectantly
Him
Nope. He's gone too.
Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Cya.

I give away charms and gems
Like the facade of espresso I drank
It tasted so bad
But I bought a beautiful necklace
A treat a treat a treat.

Let's go.
In time.
My prince will come
I'm Cinderella at the ****** ball
But my shoes
I never lose any of them.

Welcome to the land of too plenty.

We ride along, sing our hymns
On candy caned carousels
Swipe right, swipe left
We peruse and use the gym
Sweat out our pores
Men and women can certainly be friends
A church choir echoes in quiet refrains.

*** is just an option on the menu
The menu of too, too plenty
Lets take bites of cherry apple sizzling pie
Or the hundreds of times
We didn't text back.

Join us, in the land of plenty
We've got field mines for days
Gesturing in the most sensual ways
How could one possibly ever settle down
If it wasn't for eggs and organs
Demanding a time frame?

Welcome to the land of hella plenty.
Where loneliness ain't such a feat
You could pick up a stranger at just any old bar
Long as you somewhat got an open heart
Open legs, open brain
Nope, no brains.

Here in the land of too plenty
We drink and drugs become your middle name
We've got such elaborate molecule filled beakers
You never have to just choose one.

Stay, live here in the land of plenty
Siren women croon and bite into the mist
Dripping from your inner thighs.

What ever happened to faithfulness?

he blinked, he smiled, he looked like the sky
so blue, yet new, the highest intensity of hue
I lived inside the blackest silence for so long
now everything lights up like a love song

if a flower blooms each time
my heart is falling for you
then I will turn this world
into a kaleidoscopic garden