Hands tied
Blind folded
And in pain
He sat there
As she explained
Explained to him
The rules of the game

“Every day I’ll cut off one of your fingers,
And you’ll count back
From one thousand by sevens.”
Going through her drawer
Of clampers and tweezers and scissors
She said
“Now let us, rehearse?”

She took out one of her knives
And oh so calmly
Chopped off one of his fingers
Asked “What’s one thousand minus seven?”
He couldn’t hear her over his own scream
She asked again
“What’s one thousand minus seven?”

“Nine hundred…nine hundred and ninety three.”
“Good! It isn’t that hard you see?
Now I’ll be back tomorrow
Oh, and this is just an experiment
In ten days, we’ll see what you become.”
He sat there crying in agony
Wishing tomorrow never comes

But it did, and he counted
“Nine hundred eighty six.”
“Do you know why I’m making you count?
It’s a trick.
I’ll tell you about it in the end.
Don’t bother trying to figure it out, you won’t.
So just keep counting till then.”

Days went by
And he was counting
“Nine seventy nine.” “Nine seventy two.”
As he was screaming and shouting
He lost all hope of freedom
At “Nine sixty five.”
Now the only freedom for him, was to die.

After ten long days
He finally knew what it was about
At “Nine hundred and thirty.”
She finally let it out
Unashamed as she explained
*“You see?”
It was all just to keep you sane."

I love autumn.
Why?
*Because it shows that dying can be beautiful.

I am the one who cuts the strings and,
Then ties them back together.

I am the one engulfed by tears and,
longs for a forever.

I could never,
blame you.

For this knot containing,
tangles.

Giving up on me is the only answer,
To those questions never asked.

You tried (once or twice) I do remember,
I'm the one who remains masked.

And,
I could never,
blame you.

For the things that go,
unseen.

I expexted you to be a little more like
me.

I expected you to look inside and,
delve deep into the sea.

But you did not.

*For that I cannot blame you

I just realized
    that all I write about is you.