I took care of myself.
and sobbed through a therapy session,
I was the one to sign up for the next appointment.
I took care of myself
and worked through pages of homework, even when I could hear arguing from your room.
Even when tears fell on the pages and all I wanted was to run away.
I took care of myself,
When I remembered what happened,
hands under my nightgown,
My four year old brain not knowing what was happening.
I took care of myself,
When I bought a pride shirt,
And some middle aged women told me I was going to hell.
I took care of myself,
Even when you told me the God I know is with me,
Was against my very being.

I did it on my own.
So when you say you won’t walk me down the aisle,
Or pay for my wedding,
Or love me the way you said you always would...
I don’t need you. I learned.
At sixteen,
How to love myself,
And I did on my own.

I dreamed you kissed me
That you loved me enough
To break it
And kiss me.

Lay with me in the rain,
  Walk with me in the twilight,
  Hold me in the dark,
  Sing to me from beside the fire.
       You glow on the fading sunlight of an autumn day,
                                                                The leaves falling,
                                       And so are you,
Dying

how I wish
to be alone

how I wish
I was on earth alone

I wish
everyone could leave this planet

I wish
we could take care of it

we don't even care for ourselves
we don't even care about each other

I want to be alone

strange thoughts
swimming inside my head

I want to take off my skin
it gets tiring living in this society

Well traveled roads
Are not to be looked down upon
Are not always in being bad
Or even good

But they are well traveled
If you frequent them
And if your feet call for home
And out of your existence traced back there to where

Then in being and bound
There will be no shame
For it is as it would
As they should

tried to make plans
but there's no time to meet anytime soon

searched for ways to pronounce love
still can't say it right

we've sat in different laundromats
side by side

this time you didn't have any coins
all I could do was laugh