The mirage

just as i reach out to grab,
and its just not there
like the image in the desert
Disappears into thin air

From a distance it looks inviting
The ultimate quencher of my thirst
Only to come upon it
And see that it's dispersed

Sometimes I can't tell if
It's from my eyes or from my heart
That tricks me in to thinking
It's an angels work of art

It seems always at a distance
Or an arms length away
That Mirage of love I seem to chase
That's much to my dismay

Just once I'd love to catch up
With that image that I see
And finally settle down
And be together happily

When words won't do

When there are no more words left for my insides to purge
The overwhelming force that no language can fully capture,
past the Infinity squared , the highest mountains , the deepest oceans , the furthest star.
And growing still , my love
The only way to speak is with no words at all ,
The moment my lips touch yours all the words I could never know explode , like a tapestry woven out if the stings if our hearts ,
tugged on just a little tighter,
our own language bonded in affection,
our own " picture " worth a thousand words ,
When words  just  no longer do ,
My love ,its my kiss that sings you and ode to which your lips can hear my calling,
and you can feel me with your heart,
while i envelop you with my love.
when there are simply no more words that can capture how i feel
I love you , I love you , I love you ,
Kiss me ......

Swallowed by the night

Another world awaits
Between the dusk and dawn
The threshold of anticipation
Fears , and fairy tales
Have taken abode
Shadows hide in plain sight
The skies blossom with blinking eyes
Hopes for a romance
Under the stars
Hunters walk
And on the prowl
Midnight canvas flowing
Thruways lined with pillows
Taking sleeping minds
off into their dreams
The moon casts a silver shadow
Bathed in blackness
Dried off from the sun
Another world
Another Realm
Another universe
Just beyond apollos ride
Prerequisite
to the roosters calling
Adolescents intimation
To a grownups anticipation
Its as if the sea were to engulf
The terra  
But only for a time
The owl shrieks
The daytime sleeps
As we get swallowed
by the night

no, you didn't ruin my life,
you ruined "me" instead

1600 poems
1600 ways I tried to be creative
1600 love letters
1600 moments you were the center of my universe
1600 times I thought of your beauty
1600 times I thought of your kiss
1600 times no matter how far apart , I brought us together
1600 times I shared with you how much I think of you all the time
1600 times you were the insperatin for an ode
1600 times I told you you wre the answer to my prayer
1600 times I wrote you with the idea that it would be us forever
1600 times I told you you were the ONLY girl for me
1600 different ways I tried to show you how much I love you
1600 times you didn't realize the depth of my heart
1600 failures , as you simply moved on

She used to be enveloped
By a sea of affection
Each and every day
In the form of odes
And " I love yous "
Now
Since ebbed away
Only  to see the
Stones
That are the foundation
To her very being
Her heart
As it seemed twords him
Hard and cold
Revealed

The rolling waves of the sunset undulate over the arched back of the horizon giving the sky its crimson orange hue
and that very instant
In the other side of the sun
Hands of dawn stretch out and part the curtain of nighttime
And turn off the stars , sending the owls home and the hummingbirds to work ,
And I realize , for every nightfall their is a dawn ,
And I simply smile

She's gone

The walls still echo with the her presence
the scent of her memories
Still linger on collar of her robe.
The empty corners bellow
In the silence.
This house,
she made a home.
My truest love
I miss her
She is everywhere , because she was everywhere
And now she's left me
I saw through my heart
My soul still echoes
With the calling of her name
Her scent still lingers
In my dreams
Loving her was a way of life
Living to love her
I was right at home
My truest love
She's gone

All the odes are gone
Like a dying star that has burned  up all its passion,
lighting a world that didn't appreciate its existence
Maybe because they just always were ......
All the odes are gone
Once an isle enveloped in affection
Slowly with each ebbing of the tide
The sea has reclaimed the creative soul,
back into the depths of her indifference
setting the island free....
All the odes are gone
What used to rain forth words,
Like a waterfall in Eden
From the tongue of my beating heart
Now just quenched with the bitter taste of indecision
Now reigns empty
Perhaps now , she may notice
All the odes are gone

This isn't .....

This isn't poetry
Its just a list of the things I love about you ,
Jotted down in the way you make me feel.
blended with heart full of emotions.
Expressed in a way my lips couldn't find a way to say.
Through the eyes of a person who adores you.
This isn't poetry ?
But the way I love you,
Is !

Napkin

I see the discarded paper napkin burrowed  on the floor amidst a pile of other useless *******  , its purpose exhausted , the lips,it had been brushed against no longer have  the desire for its use , what once laid atop the table outstretched, and always eagerly available  , but never noticed unless it was called upon , or if it wasn't around , it had given its entire being, just  to serve for someone  , and all it had received for making itself available at a moments notice , is a lonely place on the floor next to the trash can , a crumpled ball of discarded nothing , tossed away without even a thought , no more lips to touch,or fingers to caress , just a worthless napkin , alone .....,except for the rest if the trash .......... and as I contemplate my thoughts  , I keep thinking to myself ...and then ,say out loud ,
" I know, how you feel " ........

as the stars flood the sky on this cold december night
and tales of Santa and his reindeer begin to take flight

the sweet scent if pies and puddings fill the holiday air
and silver haired ladies can't wait for there grand kids to get there

The tree is filled with a rainbow of lights
And all the good children are getting presents tonight

Then There is the fire that fills the air with burnt pine
And the grownups enjoy Christmas spirits and wine

and although most stories are of santas toys and the sleigh
We also hold dear the true meaning of this day

Our savior was born to deliver us from sin
So that we can have eternal life with him

To be at the right hand of the father above
It was honest and truly a pure gift of love.

As if the crests of the waves were slumping shoulders
I watch them roll away
Fingers sifting through the tide
A futile attempt to hold on
The moon lays a pathway
On the surface of the sea
Just another empty road
Why ?
Hopeless tenants we are
At the mercy of our surroundings
My love , my ocean , my world
I'm drowning
We floated on our hearts
Tied together by our kindred spirits
Undone by indecision and Under appreciation
My tears make no difference
On the surface of the sea
Or her hardened heart
Mine has  lost its buoyancy
Without hers to hold me
I taste the salt on my lips
Just like my tears
Suffocating without her
My love
The pathway fades in the waining of the moon
The current grabs me
Just as her heart did
Hopeless travelers , at the mercy of our affections
Without her ,
I'm lost at sea ........

I love you

Spoken

Gentle as the lips there speaking for
Mere presence ,a precious ode
Deep in wisdom, of a souls whispers.
A corner of a humbled abode

And while ,Alone,it wields a smile
But when it's not, it will bring forth tears.
The start of an enchanted evening
Or A final goodbyes stamp of sincere.

Weather it's love, regret , or sorrow.
On your wrist, your chest or hair
It's refection will remind you,
Of someone's affection, there.

Every language it is spoken
Universally , and " just because"
No better way to express a feeling
Than a group of flowers does!

Clouds

I love the way the clouds seem to lay gracefully atop the air as if they  are drifting off to sleep on a blanket of wind currents,
Like resting  my head over her heart and floating too, gently off with them, following the rhythm of her flowing heart off into paradise.
No need to dream , because the dream is where my head is now nestled.
Her breathing caresses me like the rolling tides that brush the surface of the sand , my head is the conch that sets imbedded within, swelling with echoes of "I love you's" blended in her heartbeats song.
For with her , I am sleeping on the air with the clouds as well.

When ?

A vacant gaze my recent reflection in an embrace that seems more like a courtesy than affection ,
My insides an arid well , spent,
are the wishes and dreams
Leaving only the stone walls and empty echoes
Of a heart that still beats her name.
Her mind somehow made up,
No longer is it only me that that she wants , and in my heart , I never was ,
Seems like now , all the excuses she used to find a way to talk to me , are now the excuses not to.
She says she doesn't know what the future holds , to me it isn't a future without her to hold.
Always just a part of her life , but never part of " our " life apart.
When did I stop being special ?
When did loyalty , trustworthiness, and respect become something toxic in a relationship ?
Maybe when I expected the same?
We danced together to music in our minds , tied together in a kindred spirits gala.
Drawn to her all my life
Now
My compass , always with her pointed north
As hopeless as a lighthouse in the fog
My tears ?
So many a night lost in a confusion ,
Rejected was my overwhelming affection , and just the plain willingness to " do " for her.
She wanted a friend with benefits, I wanted the benefit of being in love with my best friend.
When did love become so underrated, when did my affection stop being appreciated ?
When did my love stop being returned ?
I drink my tears , from the cup of my broken heart , as I notice the love " gone " from her gaze , and I keep asking myself
" when " ??????

From the very first time

Form the very first time you met my presence, I knew
Since forevers ago , my beating heart would stutter for just a second , and id feel my body splashed in sparks of affection.
Stunned.
Such a feeling I've never felt with anyone else,
You opened my heart to love in its purest form , were it simply just "is"
Its not just about what you make me feel , but what I don't anymore.
Your love is the only place I'm never lost ,
Your affection , loosed  the chains of strife , worry , fear , and just the the sense that something is always missing.
, your love  has laden my insides with life ,
I am no longer just a shell of a being,
going through the motions of living , you've made me whole, with just your affection,an affection I've simply always known but never realized ,
because for me , " loving you " was always just a given.
My darling, I've  never lived without loving you, because  loving you is all that I know......
All my life , all my love.
My Angel.....
From the very first time...... " we were"

Once to often

Once to often
I've reached deep
into the depths of my soul
Trying to bring just one more insight to life
My fingers in desperation
Scraping the baron walls of the abyss,
Faded sunshines
Ashen landscapes
muted birds and arid beaches
Transparent memories
Once a raging waterfall
Purging rays of hope , recollections of sadness
Invitations to natures galas
Strolls under the moonlight
Now but An empty map
or a baron blackboard
and no place to dip my quill
Once to often
I've reached into my soul
Trying to drink from the chalice
Of odes
Tasting only the cold walls
And dryness
Not even a drop
I pray for the rain
I pray for a reason
I pray for her return
Her seed
For without my words
To bathe the wounds
On a heart filled with scars
I'm simply
Done .............

Sailing

When I think of loving you
It's like a fairy tale
Like two lovers on a ride
Over the horizon we set sail

With the stars up in the sky
That will guide our night time ride
The wind of love that leads us
On this romantic tide

The sunset over the ocean
Painted by God himself above
Is there for our endeavor
For the beauty of our love

And every magic sunrise
Id get to spend with you
Spent gliding across the loving ocean
Would be like a dream come true

There is no end to the mighty ocean
It's a circle around the globe
Just like our love it's never ending
I'll look forward to sailing with you and growing old

I love you

When I die

When I die pleas don't be sad
Don't wish you could have spent more time with me , you could have if you wanted.
Don't wish you had one more chance to tell me you love me , you passed up in so many times when you could.
Don't feel bad about not having one last night together , you had plenty of fun with those people you blew me off for instead.
Don't feel bad for all those times you were unfaithful , and how rotten you must have felt for making me hurt , cuz you only went ahead and did it again and lied about it .
If you miss my voice , don't fret my darling , just get in touch with whomever you were talking with , when you were not talking to me , waiting say " I love you ".
It's ok my love , you'll be fine.
Don't worry about all the " I love you's " and expressions of affection , you said it yourself , you didn't have time , I'm sure all
Those people places and friends will never let you down ,will show you unconditional love and loyalty , heck , I'm sure they loved you like i did !
Someday , when they all have lives of their own , don't feel bad that I wanted a life for us .
You'll be fine , I'm sure those people cant wait to hear from you , like I did every day .
So please darling , don't be sad , don't be sad when I die.
Yours truly
Mr Unappreciated

Where ?

where is the place , the tropic isle amidst a glistening sea of sapphire where you can peer into the world beneath the surface of the waves and watch the life in the world underwater,
Or the cabin in the winter , the lone structure in a field of white , moon glistening off the surface , windows cast a citrine glow that can be seen off in the distance , the warmth of the fire , like a soothing bath
Where ?
A garden , petals dipped in a rainbow and layered like the ripples of the gentle breeze atop the sea , and the sound if a fountain off in the distance that complements the chorus of birds that just seem to know our song.
Serene ,
Where ?
Where is this Eden on earth , the only place my heart gets to rest , and my insides in tuned , the only place I can become one with the purest affection I am,
I know of only one , one place for me , not beyond the pillow , or past the stars , where the sky is weightless .
Where ?
My paradise , my heaven , my tropical isle , my cabin in the winter, my garden ,
Is anywhere amidst your embrace my sweet sweet love
Anywhere with you ,
That's " where "

Echoes in the stairwell

The heart murmurs
quiet voices
Like echoes in a stairwell
To a yearning soul still trying to hold on,
forgotten yesterday's
unfulfilled tomorrow's.
Moments in a dream,
or dreams lived,
into a moment.
haunting proclamations
Seeming  to carom off the walls of my very insides ...
Like echoes in a stairwell
So real sometimes ,
I find myself  looking over my shoulder.
Or my heart seems to freeze ,
then explode
splashing the  " tinglies ,throughout my entire body.
The whisper of her name
stops me in my gait
The utterance of her voice
Just a figment of the mind
It captivates
It undulates
but its simply just not real
But in my mind ......
Like my soul
I hear them , and wish it were
Because I still hear them .....
like echoes,
Echoes  in the stairwell

" the crimson rose turns ashen with out a beating heart to replenish the scars from the thorns "

Missed moments

I'll  never see the rainbow if i don't look over the horizon after it rains , the inverted spectrum of a smiling sky.
Never to be beheld , had I not looked through the clouds as they dissipated.
Like the  smile on your face , after I tell you I love you
I don't wanna miss a moment
To tell you I love you

I'll miss the shooting stars slicing through the midnight sky like a razor though paper dipped in darkened blue, if I didn't take the time to look to heavens in the darkness.
The same stars I see the moments our lips touch in each and every time we kiss.
I don't wanna miss a moment
To kiss you

I'd never get to hear the morning choir , the birds , calling out to one another in song,natures wake chime ,no , I'd never gotten to hear if I didn't just stop and simply listen.
Like the sound of your voice ,an angels whisper , the music to my very soul.
I don't wanna miss a moment
To talk to you.

Moments, any free moment , is a moment I can fill with you, a phone call, a kiss, a cuddle , a thinking of you , an ode , like cars on a train , filled or not they still pass by, and I don't wanna waist a moment.
I didn't wanna miss a chance.
To spend that " time " with you.
I don't wanna miss a moment,
I don't wanna miss a moment to love you.
Because any moment without you ,to me is a moment waisted , and a moment I could have shown you love ..
Missed moments

The reason

A truest friend , an inspiration for all that is good in the world , she's held a piece of my heart for as long as I can remember ,
A reason to love at all ,
Her fingerprints are on the seeds.
Planted by her wisdom , fertilized with direction.
She,
She ,churned the creativeness into my soul by her example.
Her own blood courses through my veins, as she watches the gardens I have created with my words.
Landscapes , paintings , travels.
Sunshine and storms.
Nourished from the roots embedded from the foundation she had instilled within me.
For she is the reason I can write , she is the reason I can see the good in all there is.
She is the reason I have hope.
For without her , I just simply would not be.
I close my eyes and prepare to pen again , paint another world , another scene , another story , and give thanks to the reason i can ,
through love and heartbreak , highs and lows ,
She was always there ,
She is always there
Different words , and different times, decades later
She sees herself in my world,
She is the reason ,
Planted seeds , and simply passed along ,
A writer
A mother , to her son

Breath

Suffocating amidst her absence and yet now able to breathe
Yet in still drowning in grief ,
I inhale the void she left behind with her indifference.
Indifference, what took me to the now .
Although she needed both hands to hold my heart , she could not free them both to grasp it.
Despite her name inscribed on its walls, she couldn't get her initials off the other, to handle mine.
I don't wanna hurt anymore.
Tears amass in the pit of my stomach ,
Bottled up dreams disappearing into the eye of the whirlpool trembling in my gut.
As I too tried to hold in against the current.
But I grew tired , tired if trying to hold in to something that didn't wanna stay.
I stopped struggling  
She let me go
Only to implode into my own peril as I let the eddy pull me under.
No more , do I sit in wonder
From the commitment she couldn't keep.
I find myself drowning with her indecision
And suffocating , now that she has.
My heart can't stay afloat in pieces
And she let go of my heart, because of a heart she couldn't let go of .

Yesterday's Dreams

She rode in over the horizon on a chariot dipped in memories , and a horse named "Yesterday's Dreams".
On a wave wave of innocence
That formed a bridge out of the face of the clouds.
I look to her with the eyes of the young man that saw her first .
And for a moment , the sun , the moon , and the earth ,
Reverse .
To catch up with the decades old dream.
That seems to be rolling in over the horizon
And into the heart of a dreamer.

I was trying
to win her over ,
but she was trying
to win him back

Over the horizon

Just over the horizon
There is a budding storm
But not with angry clouds
And darkness as the norm

Forming amidst  the sky
Is a  wave full of amore
Looking to flood your heart
As if it were the shore

The dreams you thought lost
Or never could  come true
Are just about to rain on down
And totally envelop you

See....You got used to thinking
No one would see you,for who you are
But without you knowing , you've become
Somebody's shining star

Your inner beauty and glowing heart
Has ignited someone's soul
So don't you worry when you see
The distant clouds begin to roll

The budding storm is someone's love
Thats been building for some time
Wants to shower you with deserved affection
And hopefully call you " mine "

Rain

Gentle kisses , like raindrops I shower her with my affection
The clouds close like window shades and block out the gaze of the sun,
The only light is the glistening in her eyes fueled by the burning desire we share together.
Our lips dipped in raindrops our own special nectar , so savory the taste , we can only devour.
Enveloped in the rain , enveloped in each other, saturated  in love,
The rain hypnotic , our vertical blanket as we make love with our mouths, stuck to one another,bodies being massaged by those liquid sheets ,unable to harness the passionate heat that nearing the critical mass of desire,the waiting explosion, that is undoubtably immanent
the catalyst , cocooned in the showers , locked in an embrace joined  in our kiss , lost in the moment, we " make out " in the rain !

Broken hearted memories,
like shadows ,
always,
over your shoulder ,
In your ear
right behind you ,
unescapable
Always touching you
Somewhere

Who's the fool ?

As if the tips of my fingers are
Attached to my heart, that's why
I can't seem to let go
The growing weight unbearable
As my chest turns to granite amidst the indecision.
My lungs desperately trying to inhale any hope of a future.
But she lets me hang
Daring to say she loves me.
And yet I hold on
To what ?
Torment , nightmares , rejection.
Who's the fool ?
Why can't I just unclasp my fingers.
Succumb to the weight of rejection and let go ?
Maybe the crash will shatter the stone that has been punishing my heart ?
I wish I could just let go , or you could step on my fingers with the soles if his shoes
The one you've chosen over me
And let me go !
But no , here I am , hanging on,
Because I still love her ,
Fighting with myself
I ask
Who's the fool ?

Just know.

I watch the sparrow leap from the limb catching its wings on the currents of the air , a downward ****** , to elevation , just knowing the air will cradle its means of travel off the ground.
The eastern horizon always hosts the dawn ,
Along with the announcement from the rooster ,
until the western skyline harbors the dusk.
The sea otters hold hands when they sleep , to keep from drifting apart ,
and never to wake alone
A seahorse travels " holding tales" with its mate for life
And oyster shells hold on to pearls
Just for a lover to find.
Things in life just taken as is
Because it simply always was.
The moon reaching and pulling the tide away from the spinning earth.
Just knowing
All those things that simply are,
And no reason to explain
The feelings of love I've always held.
Simply just for you , I've told you hundreds if times
I never knew exactly when it happened,
I didn't just wake up one day and realize I was in love
For me it was a lifetime certainty,  
Certainty that with you it was always something more
Just as sure as the bird testing the air
And the compass trusting the sun
Being in love with you was simple something
That I would always seem to.....
" just know "

I reached for the stars , because heaven is where you were
I followed the moon , to not have an evening without you
I woke up each dawn
Just to have another day to love you
I wanted to kiss you
Because words could never say
I planned for our future
Because I didn't wanna live a tomorrow without you
I wanted to learn fly
Just to meet you in our cloud
I see you in everything beautiful
Because you make everything beautiful that I see .
I wanted to build you a sailboat
Do we could ride the oceans of love
I wanted to hold you
To know what Eden feels like
I always want to hold your hand
To never let go if forever
I always wanted it ALL
Because you were ALL that I ever wanted
I love you so much my sweet sweet baby

Secrets in the night

Once again
In the presence of an old friend
A confidant
The onyx curtain blankets the horizon
Deepening with the waining moon
A window to Infinity
I speak
Incoherent ramblings , jumbled thoughts
To pleads for insight ,
Advice
I've rehearsed  moving  monologues , poems , and goodbyes .
Asked her to marry me hundreds of times
And cried at the rejection , while asking why .
Ahhh yes you my love, were the subject of many of the meetings
Therapeutic sessions late night talks .
Amidst the depths of this onyx abyss ,
Now murmuring along with the twinkling stars
Are all nuances , feelings , put I to words
I love you darlin
I've always loved you , you are every breath I take
The sun rises and sets , with the blink of your smile.
I've shared this only with my friend.
He knows you
As I do
Helped me realize , I can't help my heart ,
He knows , I can't help but love you .
He knows I adore you .
He knows ill be back out here tomorrow .
The shadow of my soul
The midnight sky
The unwavering ear
He knows
Ill be back , with you on my mind,
Heavy on my heart .
I love you ,
And once again ,
I'm in the presence , of an old friend .....
Sharing secrets in the night

Writers block

Just like the closing of a curtain between scenes
I shut my eyes ,
Like a blanket over my head buried on a pillow waiting for a dream.
Anywhere
Anywhere I wanted to go , an it was so.
My muse , my imagination ?
, the flowing river of ink that filters itself through my soul every time i take my pen to the parchment.
Moods ? Seasons ?
I wonder ,
the summer brings the feistiness , the bellowing crackles of thunderous echoes that sound like century old trees crumbling in the forest , along with the stabbing extremities, if the clouds scratching the surface of the ground in the form of lightning.
The springtime ,
I close my eyes again
Pandora's spectrum ,
where I " paint " my words in animation , and " budding hopes ", dreams aspiring romances ,
calasdiacopic brush strokes
second only to autumn
Still vibrantly colored , but fading , where hope may start to show signs of weakening, and recollection seems to carry pain , perhaps graven insight disappointing realty
, and the aforementioned colors slowly ages into a grayness, that acts as the threshold to the cold
A bridge , another blink
The coldness of  a rejection
As the heart of a loved one freezes over .
winter,
lost loves, and stagnant springs, here , where the flowing juices of creativity seem to freeze ,
My muse ?
Perhaps just like the winter gone ,
Hibernation
Winter in "writers land " the seasons if a creative soul full circle, where I can only " hope " she will return from her slumber invigorated.
Thawing into the springtime
Freeing a soul from slumber,
Making its way back , to flowing freely ,
Creative thoughts
back ,
back to the parchment ,
as writers block has woken in another  spring
Hey , that's " one " explanation ....

I wish I knew who it was , she never found in me.
Whirlwinds of hopelessness,
Envelop my thoughts,
Laden with the feelings if inadequacy,
Knowing , I was never really what she wanted
I only know one way
One way to love,
Intense,
I held her dearly
As she held my heart
I believed,
That one day ,
we
Would just  simply,
be
You were my morning star,
And my midnight comfort
You needn't even ask,
And I would make it so,
The affection that used to lay
behind,
the glistening of her eyes,
Now,
a distant searching.
Reality squeezes,
My breaking heart.
as she chases after her past.
I just wish I knew,
I wish I knew, who its was,
That she never found in me.

She never saw

Pages and pages of affectionate odes
Seemed to fill the journal with a natural flow
I used to write her every day

Did she ever appreciate all that it took
To paint the word pictures that filed this book
I pored out my heart to her because I was in love

Now an old stairway covered in dust
A broken heart destroyed in a wave of mistrust
She gave it all away in search of another

She never appreciated all that Id done
She couldn't give her heart to just only one
She kept sharing her heart and looking for more

Will she ever look back on all she let go
Will she ever realize how I loved her so
Will she feel my love sill in my journals

She was always the one I would write
She was my morning , my moon and my night
But to her all I am is a memory

The surface
Limericks , rhymes , ballads and love
For a time just dabbled
Deeper
The whimsically rhythm
Stretched into elongated lines
And metaphoric realizations
A few more shovels full
I'm knocking on the door to my very own sepulcher
My soul
A poked hornets nest of emotions
The next phase of literary evolution
A ticketed ride to an abyss
Laden in hopes and memories
Pain and sorrows
And sometimes bliss
Further deep
The shovel a muse ?
Past the seeds
And Beyond
Beyond the outstretched fingertips
of the growing roots
where shadows have overtaken the sun
and the only illumination
The sentiment of those
who can associate with the insight
The shovel works
each new pile of dirt
Just another symbol
Another phase , another remnant
Left behind, the progression
Of a love struck heart
And its creative expedition
Through the depths of expression
Poetry
My poetry,
From a brushing on the surface
Budding rhymes , watered limericks  
To the deep rooted secrets
Locked in a soul
And I guide to just how far
Ones writing has grown ....

Corner
The spirits seem to enhance my emotions
My eyes , levees to all that has haunted me
Flames of rage , doused in bourbon, smoldering into neglect and rejection.
Shoulders pressed to the corner walls
My own cocoon
A lifetime matinée in moments
Another swig of liquid paradox
A soothing burn
A dousing spark
A comforting fire
90 proof tears smear my cheeks
Painted in harsh evaluation
From the face in the mirror
I've visited this place before
The corner of life , and nightmare.
Where the faces of lies are ready to greet me
With a bottle of heartbreak , and a shot glass of under appreciation.
My corner
Alone with the spirits
They seem to know every haunt in my mind
And every ache in my heart
All to eager to re live it with me
Another sip , another swig
Another paradox
They all start to drown in my own numbness
The storm before the calm
Alone in my corner
And I soon will be fast asleep

Wake up into you

To what is the morning to merely wake ?
For not only to hear the songbird sing ?
But next to the person my heart doth ache
with you , it's not only the dawn you bring

Need not the sun , when I behold your smile
When I can wake in your beauty instead
I have captured Eden in  your profile
My dreams no longer just live in my head

To wake into you commencing the day
Elating me just to love you once more
Knowing you are last nights reason I prayed
So much more affection yet to explore

I want to live the rest of my life through
Starting the same, I wake up into you

I drink my tears from of a piece of my own broken heart ,
My lips cut in the jagged edge
A reminder
Loyalty , love , affection , trust
Seems to be nothing more than a mere taboo
I never new a love that brought with it such a vulnerability within me.
You just always " were "
I wanted to be " the guy , your guy"
The one who's proud to call you mine, the one who sees you as beautiful,weather its on a sleepless morning , or in a formal dressing.
This broken heart belongs to you , now in pieces ,
But never strayed
If their was a dream to dream , it was  you ,
If it was **** attire , or high heels ,
My mind dressed you in them.
Nobody else has dressed my mind.
You truly were my ONLY love , and I was always faithful
In word , thought , and deed
For you only
Your heart
The one to which I sup , now in pieces , filled with my tears
Sour ,
Just as your taste in me has soured ,
My love , my intentions , my loyalty , my courteousness , even the things I did " just because "
Like staying up late , or getting up early , just to tell you I love you , and let you know your aren't alone.
Or that I was thinking of you as you slept
I drink the tears from my broken heart Sour ,
Just as your love , has soured on me .........

Illusions
Air thickened with moisture as the clouds purge themselves into a void , that appears as if the sunshine has somehow mopped up the sky ,
The grey canvas gives way to the spectrum , and takes the shapes of the backdrop that seemed to be cloaked by the curtain of the waterfall.
Trees look like skeletons in the frigid air reaching skyways trying to catch a grip of a dangling sun ray.
The baron sky harbors an eerie sense to it as I wonder where all the birds have taken refuge on this angry day.
Most have gone south for the winter , but the ones that stayed ?
Where are they ?
The wind hisses through the teeth of the rain making it sound even more intimidating, but slowly residing as well.
The streets gushing with rolling water , like a raging river , sprinkled with fallen leaves that look like desperate rafters headed for certain doom.
the clock advances , the nor'easter , has lost some of its luster , as the fingertips of the morning star seem to be poking through the blanket of grey, making little openings for the bits of the rainbow to wash the ashen hues from the scenery below.
The river dissipates , leaving shipwrecked leaves in the asphalt , and the voices of the birds ring out In the distance , to see if the rest of them are alright.
I still see the trees waiving in the distance , and the last if the wind moves along ,
Trees ? , boney fingertips ? Blankets of water ? Rivers in the streets ?
Illusions ....

" living to    love" her
     Isn't just a feeling,
          It's a way of
               life,to
                  Me
                  ❤️

" resistance creates its own futality on tomorrow's that will never be "