I'd like to think of myself as a chameleon
But the good type...
I'm not one who blends in with every crowd, who matches my appearance to fit in with those around me
I'm the one who blends in so well you don't see me
I become invisible
After all, it's just a defense mechanism
Who can judge me if I can't be seen...if I'm not even there?

Sometimes, I find it hard to write, and sometimes I don't. And sometimes, I find it difficult to bring to words how sad and happy and frustrated and angry and ecstatic and morose and forlorn and agitated I am with life.

That's why, most of the time, I choose not to speak.

Because words aren't enough to express my introspection. Because words would only complicate my complicated thoughts. Because my rumination is a process that words cannot simply justify.

Because everyone wants to speak, yet no one wants to listen.

Most of the people nowadays are too egoistic to lend an ear.

Others whine of not being heard, yet they only listen to respond, not to understand.

That's where problems stem.

I'd rather be a silent listener than a speaker who only listens to respond, not to understand.

I run
I let my heart pound, my legs burn, my feet ache
I let the music blast in my ears
To drown out my thoughts
I keep my hands swinging by my sides in fists
To keep them from doing something else
My feet slam against the sand
That threatens to swallow me whole
The waves crash against my legs
Threatening to pull me under
But I keep running
Literally and mentally
I run from my problems
I run from the people I love
I run from my thoughts
So when I finally collapse in the hot sand
And my earbuds fall out
And the sand caves in around me as water surrounds me
I realize
No matter how much I run
I can't escape

But I get up
And I run                                                        -G

My name is Erin
and i was *****
at the age of 7

it has taken me
14 years of my life
for those 13 words to escape
my hollow mouth

the only questions i come to now
is why
why lock me in that room
why take everything from me
my innocence
my purity
my childhood

in that room
where my family trusted you
where i trusted you
the night terrors i have to this day
still haunt my mind

like a never ending
drive in movie that plays
over
and
over
only the moon in the night sky
isnt made to be found here
there is no light in these terrors

i cant sleep this time of year
because every time i do
its you
in that room
locking the door
shutting the windows
******* me
yelling at me
every single night
i close my eyes

it has taken me 14 years
to accept the fact that i was taken by you
i have been numb ever since
left in the dust
rotting away at the core
thinking i was nothing
thinking i deserved nothing
because you took everything

but not anymore
i will recover from this
i am strong enough
i believe in myself
i believe in my own happiness
and i promsie
that when i have children one day
i will never ever let them rot at the core
i will find happiness
the darkness will not take over this time