grld: Favorites

Mar 2017 grld

Luna

Mar 2017 grld

Laura Enright

Luna

for E.B.

I knew you were sad
the only way I could think to help
was to bring you to the countryside
as far away as we could get
from your home in the midlands
far from mine in the south west

we slammed the car doors when we got out
it was the loudest sound for miles
you looked up at the sky
furrowed your brow at the stars
like someone had stolen them from you
we don't have stars like this in the city*

you didn't cry like I thought you would
I am sorry that someone has taken your stars
so here I am giving you mine
I wanted to tell you that if you're sad
to look at the moon
but I don't think you see the moon
in the same way I do

#moon #friendship #stars

Feb 2017 grld

My Father's Daughter

Feb 2017 grld

Amethyst Fyre

My Father's Daughter

I forgot my jacket upstairs in the law office that bears my last name on the wall
It's a fancy building, so I need the elevator operator to take me up
'Are you Mr. Maladi's daughter?' he asks
No, actually. I'm Mr. Bradley's daughter
It takes a second before the pieces connect
'I'm so sorry'
He hugs me, teary-eyes
'I loved the man, he was such a good guy,' he nods

It's been over four years

My dad always said to make friends with the people who support a building
He said you never know where they've been
And that too often they're taken for granted, when they're always there when you need them

And today I saw the effects of this
My dad living the way he taught me

I have never been prouder to be his daughter

<3

#death

Feb 2017 grld

Welcome Back

Feb 2017 grld

Amethyst Fyre

Welcome Back

The train window swallows mansions and fields and rivers and box-like houses as if all are mere stick figures

There are tears pressed behind my eyes, and they desperately want to jump from the red rims of my eyelids and end it all

End it all

The water pressure in my head has reached a point where the measurements start to break down, thoughts tossed turbulently into darkness and suddenly breathing water seems better than breathing air

My headphones crackle with music as I gaze at my fellow passengers in disbelief- the woman next to me is looking at shoes

Doesn't she get it? Don't they get it? How futile it all is? How beautifully endlessly painful and deadly life is?
I choke on rain when I close my eyes

The train roars forward in mechanical bliss with its destruction of the scenery outside

A boy is sitting across from me now. He leans closer and I catch death in his dark, empty eyes.
'And you thought you were going to be okay' he sneers.
My tears and water soaked brain are paralyzed into ice.
'My dear' he confides, wrapping me in his bitter, syrupy touch.
You will never be okay.*

He laughs, melting through the screeching train car
And my iced-over tears break
I know now he waits patiently on the train's tracks
And I fervently hope I will never meet him there

#suicide #depression #death

Feb 2017 grld

Icarus (Moon Version)

Feb 2017 grld

Skaidrum

Icarus (Moon Version)

...
new moon
"just let me sleep,"
moon eaten
my absence upsets all.
Look at me, really look at me,
stare up at the belly of a loved sky,
watch fingers dipping into bowls of blood holding hope,
feeling around for a sliver,
of sweet milk,
of relief,
of anything;

new moon whispers
on the dead bodies left behind,
god sighs---
he knows;

"I am not the same"

waxing crescent
map out my wreckage,
my skeleton of poetry;
in the spines of books loved by mankind,
bury me there in a pages of flowers---
in the altitude of words;
read me with a hunger you have never known before,
over and over;
whenever it seems fit~
like the light of the moon is a cigarette.

smoking,
he's always smoking now.
god takes another drag;
he describes to me:

"You could be my bible,
you book of blood"

I can't stand smoke...

"I have no business in being your holy snakeskin."

first quarter
I've been searching for
solid ground, solid shadows,
a solid compromise;

I wanted a little more
than ordinary love from him so I

asked him where the static began,
for me it's below my bottom left rib
and found that it was also where the spiders started too.

Time, that quiet thing
obeys god, only
because it waits for no one

it loves
unzipping the law of alchemy,
cause ink flowered in my blood again;
I should thank time
it was this saving kind of grace;
always has been

god stroked my hair this time
and said quietly:

"You see,
the saddest thing is realizing
that there's nothing more they can do for you"

waxing gibbous
Oh, where's my love?
Is it in the fever I call happiness,
is it in the sword my mama raised me to be

Is it in the way
the moon tiptoes closer
when he says my name
in that beautiful way he does

or breaks my name
over his teeth like it's just
glass apples

God doesn't even look at me
he doesn't have to;

"Do you believe in angels?"

the wreckage answers him
"not lately"

full moon
And it begins again
I watch as he just looks away
and says it's fine
it hurts

god narrows his eyes but shrugs

"Pain had other plans for you."

I breathe out raggedly;

"I guess,
if there's no key
then I'll just swallow the whole door."
...