My friend is sleeping on the floor
Surrounded by a puddle of red water
He isn't breathing anymore
Neither are his mother or father
We were playing a simple game
The last one to fall asleep wins
It got boring having everything be the same
So I sank a blade into their esophagus within
The red and blue lights flashed and a man said I was bad
They put me in time- out and it made me sad.
But I got orange cloths and we played robbers and cops
And I watched laughing as my sleeping cellmate drops.
I dug his eyes out with a spoon
And a white van came soon
They placed me in a room with pillows on every wall
The room wasn't very wide or tall
So now I sit on my bed and mope
Sitting here wearing my nice white coat

Alone in my house
Not a word, not a chirp, not a squeak from a mouse
And the more I think, the deeper becomes of my pain
I pick up the phone and send a message to explain
As best I could of my distress that traps me
Of the nightmares that never shall leave me be
But I could only give you a very vague taste
Of the story of how my life is disgraced
I want to drown it out in physical pleasures
But there is no reprieve from my madness that stirs
Deranged and damaged
My head has been ravaged
And I want you to know that I'll always feel sorrow
It won't go away, no such thing as a better tomorrow
But I just couldn't let it go in that very moment
Because I was too distraught, much too hellbent
I'm sorry if my sudden outburst was inconvenient for you
But here I wear a smile again, as I always do

There are perks to being alone
Like having not be embarrassed to be seen cry
Or to relax within your own mental zone
To be able to see others and say you could never be better
Even if you are shattered forever
To be able to ponder how to construct a prison
To lock your heart, its existence a sin
To find peace in solitude at the low cost of joy
To be contempt with anguish to not be a toy
To build anew, yet in a different way
To become something that will barely obey
To make people ask what happened to him or her
The one that stood in your place before
To enjoy their horrified countenance
As you explain your expense
That singularity is freedom at the cost of yourself
To discard you to gain all wealth
To say the old one was weak and shattered
And this new shell is hard pressed to become battered
To say you've imprisoned your fragility
This all comes by experience, this is the new me.

Such fun, such joy!
Out to play, a girl and boy
The boy looks at her and grins
But a shadow grins back, the only one who wins
Days of plays go by
Building up the boy's courage
But comes the girl's sweet lullaby
From the shadow to leave the boy ravaged
She seemed sad to sing such poisonous notes
But the boy just smiles and quotes
"Worry not, princess so fair
I remain unharmed by this affair"
So she smiles and walks with the shadow
And the boy turns to let loose his sorrow
And a single question comes to mind
"Why am I so painfully blind?"

Another day
Like any other
Nothing special until I stretch
When I see a spot on my arm
Curious, it's never been there before
I inspect it curiously
Did someone draw it in my sleep?
No, something moved
I inspect it more closely
And I see something there
In a room I'm not familiar with
A woman with raven hair and hazel eyes
Dancing about to music I can't hear
But the sound doesn't matter
Her movements are hypnotizing
Mesmerizing
She's unmatched in my eye
Untouchable by all others
Graceful and untamed and free
It was a wonderful sight
I had a spyglass embedded in my arm
Connected to that which I saw as my world
And since that morning
Day in and day out
I would look through the hole with every waking moment
To watch her and let her beauty flood my mind with joy
And one day, I find myself longing for more
More than just spying through some strange hole
So I gather my coat and leave in search of her
The source of my estranged situation and the subject of my dream
For hours
Then days
Months go by
And years are wasted
And decades go by to no avail
I have grown old and weary
Chasing a dream
So I return home
And grab hold of my door handle
Then to my left I hear another door click
From the house of the neighbor I've never seen
I turn to face them and greet them kindly
When I find myself taken by surprise
To be met by a gaze from beautiful hazel eyes
And flowing raven hair
Slightly grayed from the passing of time
But no less flawless in my eyes
She smiles kindly and greets me with a wave
Her arm has her own spot
"Did you enjoy your trip?" She asked
I'm stunned
What do I say?
I take a moment to breathe
To greet her with a soft smile of my own
"I certainly did. Would you like to talk about it over a drink?"
"I'd love to!" She exclaims and follows me inside
And I've finally found what I've been searching for

Regrets are funny
Little bits of the past you can't take away
Sometimes you can't be forgiven for your transgressions
by either an outside source
Or yourself
If from another, it may be ignored
Cut from your life like a tumor
But if it is from within?
When you can't forgive yourself?
Then you know true pain
Then you live in a mental nightmare you can't escape from
And if that regret is tied with something you've done for another
Someone you care about so immeasurable
And what makes it worse is that this is a repeated offense?
You won't ever begin to understand
How much Hell you'll put yourself through
To try feeling maybe even somewhat as if you've atoned
But it'll never be enough
I can guarantee that
You'll never find solace
You'll never be able to take joy from activities you used to
You'll begin to exist only to take harm
To try to apologize for something unacceptable
You'll never be at peace again
And you'll lose everything you care for
And you'l lose everything that made you care in the first place
Regret is a funny little thing
One that I have only added another tally to
And the best way I can even feel somewhat like I've been able to explain
Is posting it here where those I have regrets from won't find them
Won't read them and call me petty
Won't read them and hate me even more
I confide in you, dear readers
Dear strangers
I have a whole lot of regrets

I'm caught in a forest
My glass frame is jagged and shattered
I give in to a distant call to rest
And I search for somewhere to lay my head
The forest is quiet
A whisp broke me and left
And I'm alone to care for a grove
I am broken, I am scared, I am upset
Something ahead of me
Trapped in the overgrowth
It can't be!
My armor, my friend, my beautiful cog!
Oh! What have I done to you?
I check it's inner workings
Gears clogged with vines and branches
Iron rusted through
Until I wander deep enough
And I find the source of my distant whisper
My hearth
Once a great and burning flame
To move my cog so powerfully
So patiently
Subserviently
I climb in
And flames long dead begin to burn once more
It melts my glass
And smooths me out
And I lay my head to rest
I close my eyes
When I open them again
I see through the juggernaut's eyes
And I burn so hot from my pain
The overgrowth burns away
Rusted parts shatter away
A plume of smoke billows from me
I am a cog once more
I feel so heavy
So tired
But oh so powerful
A great machine finds me in this grove
And offers me a place in it's inner workings
Other cogs inside, made of shining steel greet me
We grind and toil away
And I feel so at home
After harming and being harmed by a beautiful whisp
Who I now understand never truly understood me
Nor did I understand them
They fled from me
Left me so alone
But I am strong once more
I am so tired
I feel safe and complacent
So I will rest and let my body fall into routine
I will sleep
I will obey my new machine
I will dream

I see your blood, I know you're in pain
But let not your suffering be in vein
Let me hold your broken heart
To keep it from further falling apart
Protected until a solution is found
Held close to me, safe and sound
I crack, crumble, and fall apart
But I'd rather I suffer than let anything harm your heart
My doors are ironclad
My walls are steel
I hope I can make you happy and glad
So I can continue to bear the metal, so cold to feel
I want you to smile
I want you to weep with joy
So I can continue my denial
Of the walls collapsing, myself I destroy
I am the vault of secrets and lies
If you smile, then I'll be the one they all despise
Even if you hate me after
Just be happy now and forever

Don't mind me
I'm just bleeding
I'm suffering but you can't see
My mind is slowly receding
Just take notice and help me
Put a bullet into my skull is all I ask of thee
I'm scared, I'm alone
And kindness is something no one has shown.
I feel so cold, so dead
I can hear the voices echo inside of my head
Telling me I'm free
Just grab the gun and end my misery
I'm suffering, can't you see?
Of course not, because no one cares about me

I'm screaming silently
I'm crying for help inaudibly
I shout but nothing can be heard
Listen close, not a syllable, much less a word
I'm screaming silently
For someone to end my misery
An existence inside of my head
I may as well be as good as dead
I need to be saved, to be heard
But I scream and shout with a smile, not a word

Spinning
The world is dizzying
The sky is turning
My mind is aching
Everything makes sense yet so confusing
All of this nonsense is mentally abusing
So little gained yet not worth losing
A path I make my own but not by my choosing
The light is blinding
The darkness is binding
My path is rewinding
My head is grinding
My body is bleeding
But I keep writing
Because the words keep biting
And my soul keeps screaming
In this world so beautifully spinning

Keep steady a mind full of fear and dreams, of thoughts that surpass reality
Try to contain a mind so full of infinite creativity
No? You can't? Neither can I
So I don't even bother
I don't even try
So let's all dream together
Let's all dream, and live, and live, and dream
Let's fear
Yes, fear!
Because then we have something to overcome
And we can do it together
Come on! There's a life worth living and we're all welcome
To feel happiness, sadness, pain, euphoria, anger, worry, safety, danger, hope, thrill
We have a chance to do nearly anything, to be almost anything we want!
We all have a great many things to fulfill
So go out and take your humanity around to flaunt
To stand by family and friends, or even total strangers
For better or worse
We can't be contained
All efforts to try are in vain
So come my brothers and sisters and get ready
To rise as humans who would be insulted to ever be told to hold steady

Little tales and literature veils
Hiding a lesson to discover
Weaving words that may sound absurd
Or writing a confession to your lover
Adventures and horrors
Of daring do or a comedy write
From the mind to the paper, line by line
Allowing imagination flow by day and by night
Words directly from the soul
Songs that may make a life whole
They are what we are told as children when sent to our beds
And we come up with more within our heads
Our whole lives are wonderful tales
Stories to have our future unveil

Such a sweet medley
Love meant to be
Hearts drawn closer by time
Though blood treats the union as a crime
Smiles and longing and such smitten glee
Telling the audience happily
I wish you the best in your endeavors
And hope this a story to last forever

I am strange
To this I know
But I am not as deranged
As most would think so
I scream, I laugh, I cry and shed tears
I have my hopes, I have my fears
But we cry for different things, you and I
Different in laughter, sobs, and meanings of goodbye
Different of skin mayhaps, but that matters not
Different of opinion and the hatred it's wrought
Different personalities that sometimes collide
Different families that care and provide
But aside from the estranged difference between you and me
We are both a part of humanity
And if you are so mighty to decree
The insanity in me
Then you're a madman as well for not letting me be

My memory is overbearing
Regret is all it will ever bring
Always thinking about my mistakes
And the more I remember the more my heart breaks
I remember everything I could have had
If I tried harder, I wouldn't have been so bad
I don't understand me
Not like they used to
Ruining what was meant to be
And there's not a thing I can do
To bring them back to me
To be happy once more
As I have been once before

What is this?
What is amiss?
What is Hell, and what is bliss?
Is it the flame, burning my flesh until it sounds an angry hiss?
Or is it in each other's arms, sealed with a tender kiss?
What is wrong, what is right?
Sleeping peacefully with you this very night
Images in my mind of a great and terrible, beautiful and hideous sight
Darkness all around, snuffing out light
Still waging war on the side of the losing fight
What is sanctuary, what is seclusion?
Staying a good distance from everyone
Watching them all have fun
While I sit under a hood away from the sun
Inside my mind, the only one
Caged in my skull with nowhere to run
These are all just thoughts discarded
Of no importance or use to the shattered-hearted

Time is all I have left. Everything else is just a blur, always shifting.
I understand that people don't have time, but that means they don't have me either, for time is all I seem to have left. "Let's go!" I can't. Wait. "I guess we'll go and do it without you." I don't have the ability to twist the world around me to be able to do as I please as so many others do. "Just do it." I can't. Wait. "I guess I'll do it and chew you out later"I'm unable to do things at a moment's notice. "Just say ***** it and come out!" I can't. Wait. "Well, I guess that means you don't want us. That means you don't care." No. What it means is that I can't. Just wait. If you can't, then I'm sorry. "Sorry doesn't cut it. You should be able to do this and that because of this or that." I can't. Wait. "Wait for what? For everything to slip past you? For people to control you?" No. I'm just following the rules of my loving parents. Some day I won't live with them, so just wait. Until then, here I remain and to their rules I pertain. You don't understand. "You always say that." Because you keep trying to push it. "I'm going to apologize sarcastically for this and that and make you feel miserable then." And you don't understand that I can't control it no matter what I say or do. Listen when I say I can't. Wait. Maybe if you wait, I'll be able to later. But nobody is patient anymore. Everyone is speeding ahead blindly and leaving me behind. This is why I say all I have left is the constant and ever-repetitive tick-tock of time. Because unlike most, time will wait for me. I can't. Wait. "Okay." Says the clock. I'm going to do this at this time and then have enough time for this. "I'm right here." Says the ticking face. And some day I'll have my dreams come true with time to spare to do what I wish for the rest of the time I have in my life. I can't wait.

We heed the call and march to war
Let's show the world what we're fighting for
Take up your arms, cast aside your fears
Leave your doubts and lend me your ears
Our cause is our bond, our fighting justified
Our determination runs deep inside
Arm in arm as we stand strong
Amongst our bretheren where we belong
Amongst disaster, we still stand tall

Our goliath companions to any end
Alongside with them we withstand
Any and all enemies
We rise to the challenges of their decrees

A pilot's will is unbreakable
A Titan's force is unstoppable
They choose to fight
For what they think is right
Looking ahead, no matter the peril
Going to war even if it proves to be fatal
Hearts of steel, resolve of iron
Souls alight as they let passion burn
Whenever they fight they give it their all

Our goliath companions to any end
Alongside with them we withstand
Any and all enemies
We rise to the challenges of their decrees

Fields of fire
Hailstorms of lead
Scars that stay forever
On the skin and inside my head
The one who brought me through it all
Was my Ion Titan, standing tall
Now I stand, so pilots please hear my call
Raise your heads and prepare for Titanfall

I was the spotlight once
I was a star
Swelling with confidence
Outgoing by far
But mistake after mistake tore me down
I've been beaten into the ground
I had so many friends
But their tolerance met an end
And it's funny how I can be forgotten if I sit quietly
Nobody seems to miss me
No matter how grand my memory
Nobody seems to remember to see
How miserable I feel
That my mind can't tell what's fake or real
Hollow I am, just an empty shell
I was at the top, and then I fell
I just can't shake my misery
Or the memory of what I used to be

A game of the mind where you bring your own card deck
Where one on one is common and the action is direct
A game in which I easily excel
For it helps me shun reality, of real life I can dispel
Where I can summon an army at my beckoned call
And tear at my enemy no matter how defensive their wall
I snap my fingers and my opponents fall beneath me
But no matter how glorious the victory, I am left inside empty
I always search desperately for another game to blind my reality
No matter if the result is defeat or victory
But blissful ignorance I no longer have for a shield
And now in reality I must fight or be forced to yield

One, two, three, four
I declare a ****** war
One filled with pain and hate
And one side will fall if the other is late
One born from deceit and lies
I'll be the one she will despise
One thing I grow tired to see
Is her drowning in misery
I don't ******* care if she hates me
Only tell me if she's happy

Endless expanses of ice and snow
Getting colder with nowhere to go
A place of terrible vice and sin
Where evil rules all that reside within
No escape from the deadly chill
Or the freezing winds, sure to ****
A place that will rip happiness asunder
A place of horrifying wonders
There is no hope, no sanctuary to find
Forget being rescued if you are left behind
A place that tears my mind apart
This is a frozen wasteland, this is my heart

What just happened to the world I knew?
What just happened to my follow through?
Everything just flipped around
And now by a plague am I bound
This plague called humanity
Selfish, merciless, greedy
Insatiable desires
Twisted liars
Politics are another word for tyranny
Everyone at eachother's throats blindly
While a darker and more devious plot grows
There are pieces of proof but nobody knows
Because nobody likes the truth
We cloud it behind simple minded rallying cries
Over an injustice over what mere moments before
Had no sway to the crowd, no ties
And now over silly things spill blood and gore
What is wrong with our society?
It is this sickness called humanity

Day full of fun
I'ts only begun
Having a good run
Through a world seeming just for me
A child at heart full of glee
A magical sanctuary of games, rides, and candy
This is where good memories play
Where they are all locked away
Imprisoned by the mistakes, follies, and friends I betray
One of them runs
having loads of fun
even after down goes the sun
A memory so beautiful but like a rose
The more I remember the more the pain grows
And with that the river of tears flows
A sweet little girl
having a whirl
into a smile her lips curl
Teasing and enticing me to stay
Inside of this carnival and prance around and play
But inevitably the darkness took me right back away
In the depths of my mind
Is the carnival of mine
Of the sweet little memory I regretfully left behind