The only thing that changes
Is that nothing stays the same
There’s always some new way
We find we’re buried in the pain
Someday, we will find
The happiness that we desire
But now, we suffer sweetly
As we stumble through the fire
We choke on smoke of memories
And battles we have lost
Even when we win
We find that losing is the cost
Choking on the hopes
That keep us holding out for more
Wanting something, anything
To numb us to the core
When will we find everything
That we’ve been looking for?
Nothing left but nothing
I can’t take this anymore
Rip this broken heart out
Of the darkness in my chest
And give me just one moment
For my weary soul to rest
I know the day will come
When everything will be all right
If I can only make it through
This one dark, hellish night
But even sleep won’t make it so
To unconsciousness I go
To the land of pleasant nightmares
Where the winds of change still blow
May my slumber bring the end
To living hell, where I’m condemned
Where no amount of dreams
Can make this waking nightmare end
So wide awake
In this land of disenchantment
This disease
Slowly poisoning my heart
I can’t fake this anymore
This pain that I’ve commanded
Everything I’ve never done
All the things that I’ve done wrong
I’ve tried so hard
To be the man I long to be
Watching every selfless action
Fashioned into my demise
I can’t take this anymore
My every waking moment
Now consuming every reason
I have left for holding on
I want to end this pain
But I don’t want to leave this world
With so many battles raging
Just to save my weary smile
I won’t take this anymore
My life I’m not forsaking
I just want to rest my heart for a while
But even sleep won’t make it so
To unconsciousness I go
To the land of pleasant nightmares
Where the winds of change still blow
May my slumber bring the end
To living hell, where I’m condemned
Where no amount of dreams
Can make this waking nightmare end
Everything that’s come before
Has taught me that persistence
Is the key, and holding on
Sometimes means letting go
Everything that’s now in store
Is silently insisting
That I give myself over
To the pain that lives inside
I won’t break like times before
Your words won’t devastate me
‘Cause your life is not in order
How the hell can you live mine?
You can’t see what’s on the inside
‘Cause you can’t see past the shell
You only hate me
‘Cause you hate who you’ve become
You’ve fooled yourself, you know
But your lies now have control
You’re the only one believing
Just how all of this will go
I won’t take this anymore
I won’t do this anymore
I won’t let you break my heart
So you can soothe your empty soul
I’m tired of your lies
But you still can’t hear my cries
You can’t even see what’s coming
By my sweetly twisted smile
You’ve fashioned your own cell
This is over, this is hell
But, your black and bleeding heart
Will surely stay with me a while
My hate will make it so
To your level I now go
I can be your living nightmare
Since your heart has turned to stone
May my words now bring an end
To living hell, where you pretend
That every lie you’ve spoken
Makes you happy in the end
Even sleep won’t rest your soul
For unconsciousness, I know
Can twist your waking nightmares
‘Til they spin out of control
I hope the truth will bring an end
To every lie that you pretend
And bring redemption to your hollow heart
So you can love again
An older song I wrote about not being able to sleep due to the thoughts and memories of being done wrong by someone pretending to love me when it was just a ruse to get something from me.