it was fast and hard
the way i fell for you
i barely had time to think
and suddenly you were
all i thought about
and all i experienced

you were
every nerve ending
every cell in my body
every heartbeat
every drop of blood
every tear
every sigh of pleasure
every gasp of pain
every cut
every moment of every day

i couldn't wait to breath you out
to release you from my lungs
like toxic smoke
but you linger
like a haze around my head
making me foggy
and sad
and regretful

please just let me
quit
recover
move on
be whole again

sometimes, when the world is quiet
and i'm left alone with my thoughts,
they turn to you.
those scars on my thighs are yours.
they mirror the ones you left on my heart.
i'm choking on your memories.
i'm drowning in regret.
the words you whispered against my skin
burn until i'm writhing,
silently begging for mercy.
why won't you leave me alone?

I’ll touch you like I touch my piano’s keys.

I’ll learn you like I know those black and whites - the sticky key there, the perfect amount of pressure, just how to draw out those last few notes.

My fingers will dance along your body, creating art as they move.
At times pianissimo, slow and sweet. A hint of melancholy. Gentle, to pull a quiet melody from your lips. Soft breaths. Carefully constructed sighs.

Others forte, wild and unrestrained. Demanding you give me all you have and then some, the tune soaring into a crescendo and then releasing all at once.

And, when the song finally comes to an end, you and I will both be sated and content in the beautiful music we made together.