ribbed, but uncaged,
you read like a book broken,
with a cracked spine, snapped,
always opening to
the same page

the wrinkles stacked
dendritically, along the
ragged column, show
where you were split,
down the seam,
in a fervent attempt
to be figured out

your leaves are worn,
dog eared, and torn,
with words used, and
defiled

unadorned,
sickly souls

forlorn figures,
sitting silently

wishing and waiting,
no kissing or playing

it seems that you've left me,
and you're all I want to read

You are a creation
of a creation
creating creations
that create creations

I don't want
to have you
I want to be
with you

and
I don't want
to *******
but I don't want
to make love to you either
I want to make love with you
and with that love
I want you to create me

I think I just needed
some Space to myself
so I snatched up the Telescope
off of the shelf

Fogbound, an Envelope
Packed with Parched Paper
Periwinkle Periscope
Crepuscular Vapor

permanent figures
a vial and dropper
kaleidoscope lens
a beaker and stopper

oh, sick mongrel-tree-tearer!
your poison blood crackled
lightning right through our
interwoven riverways! pour
pour pouring sap now from
our broken branches broken
twigs dead leaves, dead leaf
leave us now! and we are no
longer sturdy here, you took
our raindrops away and you
dammed up our waterways,
we are cauterized! stray cats
crying mrow mroww trying
to fend for ourselves, but we
were fed rat poison, and you
fed it to me since ever, since
I was a little kitten. goodbye
you little friendly sociopath
what are we a box of ghosts?

The wails of the clock are hard to ignore.
Minds melt into neurosis as bodies squirm in uncertainty.
Dance and unleash yourself from suffering!
Dance dance dance!

Alone in a forest
of dying trees
the scent of wet
decomposing leaves

Morose moose head
Cut at the neck
I can see your years
like tree rings

Body
Split in two
Down the center
At the Great Divide
Flies boil up from your flesh.
You were fuzzy once.

I can't hold my breath.
Putrescence fills my
lungs with rotting death
and my stomach turns
upside down.

Stumbling to fresh air

I trip
over your grinning, toothless
nearly human face,
spurting seemingly
ceaseless blood from
its masticated mind.

It is only attached to the torso.
I can see where your legs should be
and your are trying to drag yourself
through the dirt towards me
clawing with your
twisted fingers.
Trailing entrails,
half emptied.
Fully feeling.

I'm lying in bed.
Sunken eyes wide open.
All I can smell is rotting flesh.
I'm peeking down my hallway now,
and I see many mangled hands,
reaching from every doorway.
Burned, bruised, and beaten.

I sprint down the passage
frantically throwing
pentagrams
like ninja stars
through thresholds.

I hear sizzling like
morning roast
drips onto coffee burners,
and I explode into the kitchen.

"Good morning! Coffee is ready,"
Mother greets me, smiling.
The hallway is
dead silent.

the bugs and the frogs sing a cacophonous tranquility

waiting weightless
waitless
1/18/15
8:43am

' hand rest chest
thumpthump
thump ''

' that heartbeat is a
metronome of waxing and waning
rhythmic tides and it's an '
everchanging time signature
to my overture overture and '
hand off and unsettle and '
thrown into uncontrolled rubato~ ''

' fizzy brain
spinnin dizzy
spinnin circles
spiral spiral ''

' life over my shoulder
strapped to my back and
I'm flowing like a river
down the elevator ''

' opening down
the seam and out ''
I step and roll heel toe
heel toe '
eyes flick side and side
glass door push open and
box and glass door push open and
push open push open and
open... ''

' cold streets are
the downbeat to sleet '' — '

it's frozen roads going backwards
and I'm going backwards with all my lackwords ''

...slushroadslick. '

I'm returning and leaving
like a medicine wheel spinning
and there's a dead grackle soaking
next to the curb slippery
with toxic runoff... '

...crystal water
melting '

my shoes slide from left
to left and I've up and left and
I'm climbing down the
right side of a staircase
and it's a case and it's a way
that stairway

and that last step
is 9:13am last step flat
and platform dead and
sleepy benches waiting for
the listless waiting
for the waitless ''

' waiting , waiting ''
I hop on and hide... '

the silence is sacred ''
the eyes are averted
and it's one of the
thousand different silences '
it's one of the rumbling ones
but then it's broken and
it's broken by an angry one '
and we're all alone in a railcar
with seven others, we're all alone
and she breaks it, ' she breaks it by
spilling angry nothings into the phone
that she pushes tightly to her skull '
and she grips it and she breaks it and '
and she breaks it and '
I hop off and run...

and once again I'm a
thousand different faces waiting '
but right now we're two
watching watching the
hopping sparrow ' and
it is so alive with it's
warm fluffy feathers
soaked with life ''
'

and everyone is shuffle shuffle pacing ''
' but every body stands still with eyes saccading...
sweep sweep, '

stay where you are,
in your lateness ''
and your action
is in your inaction
weightless... '

waiting to
hop on

If what is subconscious
is outside of our
conscious, waking perception
then maybe life is simply our attempt
at understanding what's beyond that line.

Maybe in dreaming
our perception crosses that line,
like a molecule undergoing osmosis.

Maybe then dreaming is our attempt
at understanding where we just were.

your soul seems droopy
half melted from your body
I love you I love you please
don't stick that needle
in your arm

I see the spirits
trying to escape your veins
they pull you to walk into
closed doorways closed doorways
slam
slam

open the door
and let yourself out

I love you I love please
don't stick that needle
in your arm

don't apologize to me
apologize to yourself

forgive yourself

let yourself go
let yourself GO

every moment you are blossoming into a newer version of yourself

you are not too much
you are not too little

you are perfect in the sense that perfect is an ever evolving state of becoming

and I love you
I love you
please

You were standing
there by the fire, illuminated
by it's tendrils of warmth.

Standing isn't a good word, though.

I saw you radiating upright
with your spine stretched up
to the heavens like a sacred snake
dancing to the universe's melody.

Your every movement flowed
like a river of love and glowed
with the embers of a thousand thoughts.

Our eyes met and
I knew I had known you
for several lifetimes.

The pupils of our souls
dilated to the horizons of
our irises as they tried to
jump into each other's
embrace.

It's silly, but as we sat, I noticed our super-soft pants,
(because why go with anything that doesn't feel amazing)
were printed with psychedelic patterns,
and they seemed to breathe in sync
with one another.

But that was just us.

Clicketyclick —

sickly screens,
shooting
sixty
picture-frames
per second

Tickety ticktock, rapid-fire
photon cannons,
ripping holes
through our
faces

rectangles,
riddled with anxiety ridden
read scripts

the resultant
retinal scarring

Wicketywicked, weary eyes,
dripping with serrated pixels

triple dotted,
typing-awareness indicators
create silly suspenses,
inducing temporal
dramas,
emotional
micro-traumas

every second a slice
through my,
now practically nonexistent,
patience

Am I a server,
or am I a servant?

Eyes, sunken, with
withered skin

I'm waiting for my fix

Ding-ding
Bloop!
Pinggg
Here comes the dopamine! —

—Clicketyclick

It's closer than my fingertips,
Deeper than my Breath,
Shadow on the Sun, Eclipse
Light and Dark, Life and Death

can you take me to the last domain

\\

the last one
the one before
everything

\\

come tumbling down with me
flying skyward frown
upside inside out

\\

this amoebic mass of
intergalactic introspection and
analyses of outward perception

\\

this ion exchange
line dancing across an axon
don't shoot the neurotransmitter

\\

this realm is made entirely of thanks
when there is nothing to say

\\

it is my childhood that keeps me alive

\\

I'd like to immortalize my friends

\\

remember when we played in the sandbox?

\\

remember when my father stabbed you with a screwdriver.

\\

there was a time when all that mattered was music
there was a time when all that mattered was flesh
there was a time when all that mattered was eternal
there was a time when all that mattered was death

\\

scaled fish curling into reverse spiral
it floats there in haunting grimace

\\

the upholstered chairs by the fireplace
feet chewed by the jaws of a puppy

\\

the china cabinet in the corner
I could see the reflection of your
disgusting indulgences in it

screwdriver pink skin

\\

the musty mass of wires where your desk once was

where your life unfolded 'til the wee hours of the morning
sick and twisted absent minded distant soul

\\

that ball of electricity floating down from the sky
bobs as a ball in the surf toward the kitchen door

\\

terrifying electric forgiveness coming to engulf my brittle heart

What I feel are rivers filled
with droplets made of life.

Life rushes
over stone and wears
away through mountains,
lakes are memories
met by rivers
states of mind
crossroads
crossrivers.

Which channel
will I flow through?
and how many times?
How deep will I let it go before
it becomes so dark
that I can't see
the bottom?

I'm a secret garden black star ceaselessly assimilating the creation of my memories at the speed of reflection! A lot of the time I can't say I'm attempting refraction so all I get is fusion diffusion bright light confusion. I'm a Gaussian blur black glow and I'm a grey and white rainbow gradient peacock feather floating up from heaven. Trickle down love theory is just about as good as corporate fascism. **** wants stagnant water to float on top. C'mon! Let's dance, let's swing, let's bubble out of our ***! Let's boil it down, break it down, let's take it down and bring it up to a whole new temperature! Let's evaporate to a higher state of being together...!

I'm a grinnin' black hole, darlin'

Y'can't see to the bottom
of the center of my universe

I'm an ever-hungry ditch

spin spin
spin around me
and drip your lights
down my thirsty throat

I sip too swiftly

choke on sunshine

wait!
don't cross the line,
there's no turning back -

too late...
universes collide and
collapse into one another

just breathe and go with it
it'll turn down the volume slowly
it'll pick up again in no time but it'll stop
it'll stop but it'll pick up again in no time
no time and all the time in the world
all the time in your mind

and if you keep looking back on it
so frequently
you're just gonna get dizzy
you're gonna be spinnin'
brain fizzy
fizzy bubbles in a
glass of water
clinging to the sides in little clusters
born out of black holes
emanating truth

the weight of it
bending all things into it

you can look back now
but look far
look to the horizon
reach further than that
and you'll see it unfolding
and folding in synch with the ocean
the caress of tendrils of bubbles
tickling the sandline

you'll be able to feel it
between the fingertips of the moon
where yours fit perfectly
wrapped around
warm radiant stardust
radiant stardust

that you, too
are everything

She was perfect
but she was too much, too little
a riddle that'll fiddle with your mind

She was perfect
but she was too little, too much
a riddle, touch tingling, her crutch

But I didn't hold her heart
like she held mine.

scintillating cynosures
adorning your face
blossoming warmth
emanating infinity

the story is woven and
somehow the same string is
caught in loops
around itself
and somehow

somehow it makes a fabric
somehow it creates a universe

there's space
between every loop
but that's what holds
the warmth inside

fuzzy pockets
filled with love

the stories are interwoven
and somehow our stories
have been knitted together
somehow we are caught
in loops around
one another
and somehow

somehow we make a fabric
somehow we create a universe

Each day is a gallery of empty canvases
Every new face is an opportunity
You will walk past many of them
Leaving them blank and untouched
a passing possibility
You will approach some, and paint a stroke or two
or a few or some more and
It may not be your best creation
but on some you will create beautiful masterpieces
For the most part, though, you will pass them by.
But why?

Safe (or so I thought)
in my home, I stand, solemn.
Bodies line my doorways and
faces fill every one of my windows.

Some of them drool, and
some of them snicker.  
Eyeballs undress me,
I feel them groping.

They want to get inside me.
They want to look around.

Every single day,
you stand there, facing me.
A mirror image, another face, staring.
A pair of eyes in the safety of my own home.

Why don't you just rip my insides out?

Dig your nails into me.
Squeeze me until I pop!
Let my guts ooze out on the floor,
and smear them around for everyone to see.

Slice me down the seams,
and take me apart.

Lay my pieces down
in an organized fashion,
easily put together again.

Let 'em look.

—gasp—
I'm outside, drooling in the window, watching.
Face: 'Hehe it's intriguing, isn't it? From the outside looking in?'
Me: 'Yeah...'
Face: 'It's just morbid curiosity — don't feel bad.'
—sigh—

I'm naked,
inside out.

I'd say it's all for you, but
you're just a broken mirror.

fingers
trace my body
tactile trails
tingle and
blossom into
electricity
fading to forever
moments dissipating into
memory

words
fall from your lips, steam
from the brim of a
boiling cauldron, billowing
spell imbued breath
breathing life into
dormant seeds of poetry
that crack, spilling their
insides, sprouting sensually
spiraling tendrils, unwinding
whispering wisps
that kiss my neck
with hot, wet leaves
fingers of a fae

In just one moment
We exchanged a glance
My words stolen, by her
striking beauty, I was struck
left stuttering with a mind
put-puttering and a heart
flut-fluttering

There is magic in her eyes
filled with love,
effervescing skies
of scintillating stars

There is mystery in the heart
of her, like an infinitely
blossoming flower

I have to maintain perfect rhythm,
impeccable coordination,
to stay in the pocket

It can be hard to do that when
the only person accompanying you
is yourself.

and other times
it's just as hard
with an orchestra.
infinitely moreso,
at times...

Two things're for sure
If you can't play in rhythm with others
It's probably easier for you to play in rhythm with yourself.
and If you can't play in rhythm with yourself
It's probably easier for you to play in rhythm with others.

But if you're not in time
the only way you will be is
if someone falls out of it with you

radiating love body
light being
form flowing
flavorlessly
as if needed,
expected in order
to sustain life
it is quenching
a thirst, it fills
your lungs with
life, breathing, it
pulsates, it rocks
back and forth, it
goes in and out, it
spirals all about and
it takes its time because it
loves its time because time
is all it has and all it has is all
it is and all it is, is all it feels
and all it feels is all it knows.

I'm in Love with the World,
Don't Take it personally.
It's not yours to Have,
But it's ours to Feel.
We are the World,
and I'm in Love.

poppy flower snake ****
spicy changa sunflower
sassy sufferin' sassafras
morning glory rain dance

green goddess giddy leaves
spicy pie and grilled cheese

The pen hits the paper and
ink bleeds through the fibres
in the fabric of my world

Where have I been?
Where am I?
The attempt at faith
in which I am
has been tried and tried again

Oh, I've got pride
but there's a limp in my stride
It's high tide and I've been lied to
pried from and I'm black salt
from the bowels of a volcano

Find me spewing magma
from my lips and you'll be burnt
by unkempt fury

It'll take me years to come back
from the years I've been lost
so I'll just keep finding myself
deep in the thickets,
I am catching brambles
in every nook and cranny
of my being,
unseeing

Open my eyes and
fill the voids with sunshine,
a shimmering coat of stardust
with a bit of moonshine,
seems to be the remedy for
dull smiles and droopy eyes

I've stumbled across the fault lines of your not-so-subtle lies, unwilling quite chilling
and I cry in order to see those thorns wither and die, sizzle from the sighs as I realize with real eyes there's nothing for me to surmise and it'll either be my demise or what finally makes me wise, so

I burst into flames and slither into the sky,
no limits, and in just a minute I'm in a new state of mind.

From unkind to kind I'm a dried up rind bubbling into the scent of fresh pine.

Sometimes you just gotta draw the line,
and let the ink bleed through

LOOK at me,
Take me IN!
No, not my body.
We had no choice on that.
They just grew around us,
as we grew inside them.
We had no choice.
Our forms, our bodies
Our faces, our... are
FILTERS!
We have no choice.
They will wither around us,
as we wither within them.
forms, bodies
flesh, faces
filters.

I guess I'll just have to open my heart wider than my pretty little mouth.

Too bad it's been stitched shut with the linings of your actions.

Gonna have to
pop pop rip it
at the seams
it seems.

Frayed flesh
frayed flesh pray
to Ganesha Ganesh.

Bleed freely
cut it loose and
let it flow like a river.

Remover of stitches and rain fixed ditches collapsing in on themselves like a star folding itself up and hiding in a drawer.

Dust bunnies get bigger the longer they can stay unseen.

I like to collect particles of past lives and the stories of fallen strands of hair.

Along the lines of wispy waves come fine chimes of timely bells bellowing only perceived truth but truth nonetheless.

Tear it apart like you would the last letter a lover wrote you.

Let the pieces fuel a fire to keep you warm and bright.

It hung there on the wall
Staring back at me
Warped as my soul
A perfect reflection

I could see the beauty
in all the hills and valleys
but the way the light bent
into and over them
showed me an
ugliness

It minimized that which I had magnified
and magnified that which I had minimized

It hung there on the wall
in the hall
Looking into my soul
A serene pool of sharp
metallic truth
glassy

I've seen you before
and when I broke you
it left me bleeding

I found myself
and I found myself
running away

I don't want to hurt you anymore
I want to love you

but it's so hard to even look
at that flat mirror warped reflection
warped reflection

There is an ocean of love
and I am completely
underwater
with you
floating
eye to eye
our spines align
two snakes, we slither
'round one another
sliding in sync
our rhythmic motions
breathing like
passionate waves of fire
bodies merged
in graceful form
flames licking every cell
of our wet skins
glistening like
the surface
of the sea

we are
submerged

I'm floating in place with
no lover to face
trembling, trembling
trembling heart space
I'm spinning in circles
looking for miracles
and it's proving to be
horribly difficult
Trying to fly
with no wings to spread
I crumble and cry
a song for what's dead
the sound of alarms
ring in my head
Take me
cradle me in your arms

The moon has a face,
She really does.
Well, many, really.
But the one that I see
looks like it's singing the universe.
You can see it in her eyes,
that it's a solemn song but
there's hope in her voice
that lights up the sky.
You know how when
you get so close to someone
you can see yourself
in their eyes?
Sometimes I wonder
if she's too far to see herself
in ours...

For how many days and how many nights are in the moment of a kiss?
There is a light bulb on the horizon screaming ****** ******.
An obsidian hammer exploding into licks of carnelian flame.
A war drum, it's hide cured from the skin of the desperate.
A humanoid figure crawling out of its ****-stained cage
smelling the slime of a new day.

Little boxes smashed to bits by the stamping foot of a child.
There is a wind blowing from the mouth of the bull.
A ring of fire burns red and green from the void of the lover's soul.

Below the surface of a sea of sand I am breathing in only stardust.
My legs are tingling as they strive to wake up for this journey.

You are narcotic in your presence.
I am elated and depressed simultaneously by your existence.
A wonderful rush followed by a drunken stupor.
An ******* and a small death herein.

Here I am looking away from you because I am afraid of who I am.
I will only skim your surface because what is beneath mine is unspeakable.

I keep my eye heavy lidded,
because if they were wide open,
I would explode into treacherous rapture.
I would know bliss, and that is not meant for me.

This pain, I am only holding dear,
because it has been wrongfully taken from me before.
Please, allow me this despair. Let me feel this anguish.
Though it does not allow you comfort to witness,
it leaves no reason for your false consolation.

Look not, if it discomforts you so — to see me writhing.
Ask not of me to untangle myself from this twisted feeling.

This vine is welcome wisteria nestled in the shadows of my arms.
I ask of you to focus not on my withering leaves,
but of the blossoms it bears.

I will hoist its parasitic lavender radiance to the heavens,
an offering to the eyes of the suffering.

Do not dam these rivers lest you wish a flood upon your mind.
The ocean does not deny any a waterway, and why should you?
Are you so different from the vast gut of the world?
Let us be left landlocked and breathing hot sand.

Let me be. Let me run!

Where is the right place?
When is the right time?
To surface from the ocean of sinking sand.

The forever crumbling plateaus of this high
have me leaping from stone to stone.

Watch where yours is thrown;
where it lands you may find interesting.

This is incoherence.
I am confusion.

Where be my emotional faculty!
Where be my functionality!

Ever wandering.
Caught up. Waiting.
For the next ending.
Too busy to think of the new beginnings.

Quick! Keep going...
You may miss what's going to happen next!
But wait, wait for it...
"Right after these messages."

WHAT OF HERE
WHAT OF NOW
HAVE WE FORGOTTEN EACH OTHER
HAVE WE FORGOTTEN OURSELVES

Have we already closed
the never ending story and
put it back on the shelf?

Flowing thoughts wear away
at the mountains on the horizon

Soon they sink into the sea
I can see
past them now
into the beyond

Floating, a journey
through the channels of
watercolor waterways on
a molded clay mind
Formed by the Flow
of many todays
and hopes for tomorrow

Spotlights on us

seemingly illuminating
and otherwise blinding

can't see the audience
can't tell the difference
between time and space

different manifestations
of each other creating
infinite mandalas
poured into rivers

tones rising out
of and falling into
silence

I trip over words and pick the sounds out of the scrapes in my palms

I make motions to pick up the gravity but my actions are glitchy, disconnected

an abstracted cadence
remote inflection
radio nuance
rhythm break

modal static living in stasis

ants on a screen as grains of rice
with bubbles in a glass of beer
merging like two tones
harmonizing on a
secondary tonal plane

move me like a modulation
end me like an infinite crescendo

I am suspended
over several tones

just let it go
and I am resolved

follow where the voices lead

I can see the footsteps
on my soul
From where you walked
all over me

And I won't brush
away the dirt left
From the bottom
of your shoes
Because I miss you
and it serves as
A good reminder
of what was

Drop your leaves, love
All that deadweight's
wearin' you down

Free movement

unobserved even by my own eyes

I am free in the moment
uncondemned and unconfined

I am flowing
like the vines of a
weeping willow in the wind

Growing
like the pines of the
barrens aft the inferno
has licked the cones into opening

swiftly drifting hippie child
sounding the bell of crystal quartz
undead spunyuns seize empty moments
fill them with crumpled smirks and last minute breaths

you with your soft pale skin and coarse hairs
I want to feel their juxtaposition on my own

your proud **** teasing the skin of my thighs
the strong calloused fingers of your left hand folding over my protruding hips
grasping them and guiding them
before your pulsing throbstick

my arm weaves through yours
reaching around your muscular body
to tickle your rosy wrinkled hole
as the tip of your self slides between
my cheeks and kisses mine

your other hand reaches up
and wraps itself around my skull
and you plunge your sword
deep into my heart
and I gasp
please

love me
**** me
destroy me

love me senseless

i,
I
am real
my gender is real
my sexuality is real
despite everything and everyone telling me that they're not —
I am real as ****.

Maybe that's why you're confused by me.

Maybe it's because you're used to a resolution that's less than 8-bit.
Maybe it's because you're used to a pixelated existence.
Maybe it's because all that you can compute
are 0s and 1s.
***** and *****
lips and *****

Maybe that's why you're afraid of me.

Because you're afraid of what you're going to see in high resolution.
Because you're afraid to see exactly what you've been missing out on.
Becuase I'm not coded in binary, hexadecimal, Base32 or 64,
but Base∞

and I code myself in a language
that I am constantly learning
and creating simultaneously,
let's have an interesting conversation

...supurfluous, unnecessary, confusing...
words spoken by the able, the unwilling
to take a closer look at my pupils —
dilating in high definition.

In fact, the definition is so high
that you'll have climb from my genitals
all the way up into my heart to see me for who I am.

Yes, I realize that binary is necessary for the basis of computation.

But we're past that now.
We don't only have ifs and thens.
We've got ands, ors, buts, maybes, sometimes, always, and nevers.

We've got infinities.
We've got forevers.

To you,
I'm a braying boy
with a broken brow,
and a giggly girl
with a **** and no ****

I'm a sad silly circle
suffocated by boxes,
and a ****** box
without borders

To you,
I'm a pixelated picture
penned in binary
but I'm a runny canvas
painted in watercolor

I'm a two-spirit tupperware
all-soul riverway

I want a new pair of glasses
I want a new operating system

Give me a hammer and chisel
and an ever-growing stone
I want to sculpt it forever

I won't touch your
blablabla leftovers
I wanna write
my own recipe

Lemme show you
how I feel about
what you see

I rip apart your dams with my
fingernails and let the rivers
flow with all the ***** I don't give

I flash you my infinity
as I flip you the birdie

I don't care what you want

I am, *****.

To give up that which you thought you had is to allow yourself to become with that which is becoming

water glass
shatter
sun scatter
sun kissed blue sky
blue love white mists form
god's ****** cloud fists and
rumble tumble fumble
dipper dapper dilly dally
rainbow mumble
splatter thunder
shimmer

bright light
dial dimmer
turn it down
let it simmer
turn it around
and stop

look around, listen
see if you hear the trees glisten
try to taste the motion of the ocean
and love the motion
love the motion

spin too softly trip on gravity
if feels like a dandy
drilled cavity
pulled tooth
waiting in
the breadline
feeling forced
like a punch line

I need to be here.

water drop