a concept: the sky is so blue, there is an ocean in the sky. I reach up and my hand comes away wet, there is stardust on my fingers.

a concept: There are eyes looking at me, the colour changes, but not the love. Never the love.

a concept: I can stare at the sun for hours with no pain, the sunlight is leaking into my body. I am glowing golden.

a concept: I cannot see the sky for the trees stretch ever onwards, I can feel the hum of the earth and mother nature blows me kisses in the wind.

a concept: My fingers are clasped around another's hands, they trace circles on my palm. My heart beats and I am finally happy about that.

Something has changed,
shattered,
this gentle thing we had,
fragile as it was
has met its inevitable death
and we have plunged into dark
grasping at fragments of light
you have found someone
more stable than I,
better suited,
more loved
I forgive you
because I knew from the start
that this joyous thing
was doomed to die
as they only let you be happy
if they're preparing
to take it from you

nonetheless
I will grasp at the light
I am not the meek and feeble bird
that flew into a spider's web
I am a lioness
ready to fight for my joy
We will see the sun again
and it will be, as it always was,
*dazzling

I am in constant torment
Preaching self-love and self-joy
and not needing someone to validate me
But I will throw myself under buses
into gutters and rain
for people who don't appreciate my stars
and give me dirt in return
I will let myself burn under fires
of 'yes's instead of 'no's
and repeating I love you
when I've never felt more alone

My heart beats, its steady
and rhythmic drum
But it does not beat
for me.

The rain got in the house, somehow. It was leaking from the ceiling, pouring like autumn showers and the thunder was so loud it made my ears ring. I was screaming above the storm we need to get out of the rain and I received blank stares and empty faces. My family, listen to me, can you not see the lightning?
Faces fall away and I am in a dark room with only that forked electricity to light my way. Booming and crashing and the crackling static.
Hands on my head I can't get the sound out its so loud its too LOUD. THERE IS SO MUCH NOISE. THERE IS ONLY **THUNDER THUNDER THUNDER.