My father got me a new cell phone, another new change.
I wish I could keep my old one, because your number is in my phone that I have now.
I can’t put your number in my new phone, my parents will think I still like you.
I can’t like you, I can’t.
I need to move on, I need to move on.
You were my first kiss, my first love.
My first heart break.
I love you, I always will in a way.
I can’t be with you, never.
People would think it’s wrong.
I can’t believe all you wanted was my body, I can't believe you would want my body at all.
You say you love me, but then we don’t talk for months. It’s not your fault I know.
I received a call telling me you were missing, my world stopped.
I couldn’t breathe and I was crying.
I was sobbing wondering if you were truly gone.
Hating you because I thought you had run away and left everything behind.
I thought you had left me. Did you leave me?
Is it over? Should I let go of you and leave you behind?
Should I leave all the conversations and promises behind and pretend they never existed?

my mind is not mine I cannot see
I’m held within a cage of lost liberty
my days are not my own
them seem to be controlled
by people far too wealthy I'm told

my nights are filled with dreams
that warn of time fleeting
of heart ripped and torn
a body that longs to dance airborne
and move to express itself
with no one to approve or ignore

I look with admiration
at dolphins presentation
of joyous jumps and gleeful communication
and see their lives free of limitation
as a talisman of my renunciation

with closed eyes I lie still
and look behind to see all that fills
alone and all one
my chains are broken
and on the cliff edge
I jump
to be awoken

I made it another day without you here with me.
I wonder how many more days I will have to go without you.
Sometimes I think about how my life was when you were here.
My life got worse and I stopped living after you weren’t here anymore.
I know you’re out there somewhere living life, breathing, eating and laughing.
While I mourn you, I will always miss you.
I will always love you.

I tried to stop the tears from falling
To hid the wounds we once tried to pause from repeating
Kinda like our lost pitty hug
I could still feel the empty embrace choking me for no reason
It was still a yesterday in my mind but a tomorrow for you
I wanted rewind but the buttons of the past no longer exist
I still live the dark days of the dark places where i got trapped
I wanted a fastforward out of this beautiful tragic movie
A happy ending would have been great
A sorry goodbye for an ending would have been fine too
But all i got was just lost clues of how an ending could be played forever in a painfull way as if it was just a background outside the real view
Now i have thought of this through and through
It just ended like....
It never really even started at all

It came out in fire
But burned by water
Drowned inside my blood
Running and dripping
One by one i counted
Falling falling falling
Playing the old sound
Crying the same drama
A whole in my soul
A part from you
Apart from them
Stripping away the last time
Hungry for the first time
Oh my yesterday be reborn
Tomorrow i will see myself torn

If you're a lady
all-purpose handheld device
vibrate with night-lite

Some days there is an ache
That ripples through my soul like an echo in an empty cave.
Where it started, I'll never know
But it seems endless on my empty days.