not the kind of pain that tickles and pokes
but the kind that knocks you back a few feet when it hits
&
rips the air out of your lungs
like the few moments of excruciating pain you feel when you stub your toe or clamp your hand between a door
it's an unexpected kind of pain
& your nerve endings can't help but become overwhelmed in pain
it's a greedy kind of love
the kind that takes and takes and TAKES
it slices you open, not enough to be fatal but just enough to bleed
&
that's all that's left for you to do,
b l e e d
this love bleeds you dry,
it takes all that is you
&
leaves nothing behind
nothing for others to identify you by
it leaves nothing for others to
s a l v a g e
it's a suffocating kind of love
like a horrible case of claustrophobia
the walls seem to be closing in
the world is getting smaller
the air is getting thinner
&
you watch for a few painful seconds as you lay there gasping for life
clawing at the walls like a trapped mouse
aware that you are dying
aware that there you are utterly helpless to stop it
a love whose purpose is to cage
not treasure
it boxes you up
&
creates a world that composes of only two strong arms that feel more like a prison than comfort
they bind
&
enclose on you
it's a love that should know when to stop
but doesn't
it's a never ending cycle of violence
of heavy fists
&
relentless kicks
then sweet kisses that act as apologies
trying to soothe the pain
&
then whispers
"I'm sorry, never again. I promise."
words that you know not to trust
it is a love with no way out