As the winter air bites my fingers
      I take in a breath.
Maybe the snow dusted air
     Will freeze the pain?

The cries of the world
an orchestra full of pain
echoed in my dreams.

Flakes knock lightly on the windowpane
I direct my attention outside.
Ashes taint the ground with bitter gray
As I watch the flames inherit the earth.


I spotted a man, water in pail
He extinguished another held tightly by flames
The now free man cringes and yells
“It is my right to be held by flames”
With that he ran into the woods
The tops painted with carmine.

The world is burning, it’s losing its leaves
All because we are all right, we are all wrong.

1.) Ignore the days that stare right back when you look at the calender for they will soon slip away.
2.) Ignore the cosmic pulling that draws you to him for he too will soon slip away.
3.) Ignore the harsh words they both use to shred each others hearts for they will phase away.
                                                 Ignore and you will be spared the pain.

You're just a whisper
in the back of the classroom
Snagging my attention
before the teacher comes.

But then again if he left wouldn't I be able to be free of the pain?

I teeter 'long the edge of Death's sidewalk.
I hope one day he will acknowledge my presence and open the door.

Have you ever taken the time
to ponder 'bout the stars?
Or ponder on why a toilet becomes an expensive piece of art.

It's a wonder how perception takes hold
and directs every choice we make.
controlling every aspect of our lives
When to give and when to take.

Have you ever taken the time
to wonder 'about life's meaning?
Or wonder about the waves brawling, singing within the sea?

It's a wonder how a simple line of acknowledgement takes hold
and sends us off into a higher thought of self
while spaces below become distant
to far to be seen to far to be felt.

Have you ever thought of -

Nevermind.

A gentle touch
A gentle smile
A gentle laugh
That lasts awhile

Appealing eyes
Appealing face
Appealing everything
Nothing to replace

Wanting a kiss
Wanting a hug
Wanting so many things
You are like my drug

But I mustn't I am told
But I can't it seems
But I shouldn't No I shouldn't
Why oh why is this happening to me

With thinking outside the box,
         it grew envious of the confined space.

Everybody sees what they want
but never really what's on the inside
People don't know what they want
They all just want to be on the inside

But I am here to say
That this game we play
must end today
We are better than that


Everybody talks as if they know
Say the love but they never show
Tell each other that it's fine
But shun the one's who are kind

But I am here to say
That we should stop playing this game
If we want to be brave
We must end it today

We must end it today
Take a chance
and not play
with each other's mind and hearts
for that's how the hatered starts

We must end it today
This game that we all play
We must end it today
This game
The game
we all
play

This heart calls out, screaming out your name, trying to get your attention.
But that was then.
This heart calls out,whispering your name loudly, wanting your attention.
This is now.

And it seems that your humming bird ways, the coming and hovering, tell me that you have answered the calling, the screaming, the whispering of your name.
But the thing about now is I so desperately want you to revive the voice in my heart but i am not sure if you will.

This poem is not about you
Not about your curly blonde hair
Not about that cute chipped tooth when you grin
This poem is not about how your eyes captivate me and make me ride the ocean

This poem is not about you

It is not how you make me feel better with every glance i steal
It is not about how you send me realing when you say my name
It is not about how I wish i could kiss those lips
Do I need to repeat? This poem is not about you

I am so sorry to hurt your ego with this poem that is clearly not about you

It's those moments
Those "Wait I need to get my camera" Moments
I hate the most.

We are expected to hold position
Be statues while life walks on by  and observes us with unforgiving eyes
Telling us "why Wait , I sure don't"
Winks then leaves.

And it has been coming down rain
in a drizzling sense for the past two days.
How am I to be in the old sense of the word gay?

I hope you take the time to look over the edge
And think.
Just think.
Think Hard.
Cause I'm gonna push you in.

And think.
Think Hard.
I hope you take the time to look over the edge.

Cause I'm gonna push you in

And smile.

Poetry is the elixir I drain into the cracks of my broken self
to ensure security in a world where cold indifference is less expensive then a nod of acknowledgement.

1.) You would never leave my side as if you were an extra appendage I was taught I couldn't function without.
2.) You knew me like the back of your hand as if every word I spoke nestled inside the wrinkles.
3.) You loved me as if I didn't know about the whispers you told the one on the side.

I am thirsty
But not for a cup of Black Coffee
Nor do I thirst for a cool refreshing glass of water
No, I thirst for your love

Nothing can taste sweeter than your love
Not even sweet tea
Not even soda with it's 32 grams of sugar
Only your love can excite my taste buds

I would sip it and not gulp it down
because I want to savor the taste
I don't want to drink fast
and not enjoy the beverage

I am thirsty for your love nothing else, nothing more

Tonight
I
Mimic
Everyone

Tonight
I
Message
Everyone

Tonight
I
M­ock
Everyone

Tonight
I
Miss
Everyone

The bartender says “It’s time to go”
“Because the moon has clamored high
And the sun was banished low.”

They were only speaking to me
I raised my glass, took a swig
belch, “i’m not even empty.”

They grab and toss it in a bin
The crash of glass, the waste of gin
Pollutes the air and that is when

They spoke. It was stern it was cold
“Get out right now! Before I leave
Your chest all gaped. Your chest all holed.”

“I’m a patron,yet you’ve decided
To push me out into the darkness
Lonesome and unguided”

“There are other bars out there,”
“No need to bother us, They said
I bit my tongue so as not to swear.

I made a choice, a simple choice
To sit and stay at the counter.
I cleared my throat and raised my voice:
“Do what you must. Let it occur,
But understand this, we will not be deterred.”

My heart is 60 percent dead
40 percent wallowing.

I count the stars in my sleep.
with my eyes closed I find the North Star
but wake up heading south.

And the summer sun has moist my back with light kisses
But with the rain's light laughter they're washed away
into the gutter of disappointment.

My brother in a fit of irritation raises his voice only to laugh something a friend said.
My sisters are quiet, either they both were visited by Mr.S or they are just quiet.
I ?
let's not speak I.

A cough in the night
signals you are not alone
A car drives on by
then
Silence
Only to be broken
by light snoring next door.

And droplets of water morbidly spoke to one another before off the cloudy ledge they went.
(sighs)
if only they allowed for a slight angle in their trajectory upon committing suicide .
Who wants to hear feeble bodies splatter and break on impact against a window?
Frankly, (yawns) I find it rude.

My soul
is it just a collage of many experiences bound within a host
And death of the host releases this collage until it is reborn?

The coffe *** is on
you can tell because
The aroma is spreading it's fingers and picking your nose.

The fan is on
you can tell because
It's voice is creaking, a gargling nails noise

The clock is on
You can tell because
The ticking of it's hands taunt you as it takes it's time timely.

Time will heal the heart
But the scars will always be
Always there Faintly

Time went by and distance grew between me and liking you
I now see that you are just holding me back
Replace what was felt with what is felt now
Every thing I thought and felt is through
Dead these feelings, Just growing tired now

Don't leave me behind to pick up the pieces
When All I needed was your kisses
Don't leave me alone to fend for myself
When you go and be with someone else

Cause I am growing tired
Of all these games
Tired
of all these names
Tired
Why can't you change?

Your name echos in my heart
But I don't listen cause you tore me apart
Your name wants to slip out of my mouth
But I stop it, It mustn't come out

Cause I am tired
of all the games
Tired
Of all those names
Tired
I stopped and won't play
Tired
I don't care if you change

I close my heart but only to you
You will no longer be able to break through
I will no longer melt, no longer feel the way I use to
No matter what you try to say, No matter what you try to do

Cause I have grown tired of everything
Tired of your name
Tired of you antics
Tired of trying to show but then being thrown like a used towel
Tired of trying to ignore
Tired of everything you say
Tired of being in dismay
Tired of thinking of you
Tired of worrying about you
Tried of putting myself out there
Tired of feeling naked when I get near you
Tired of ......
I am just tried of you

Body

She isn't my sister,
the girl from Ohio.
Biologically we are no kin.
But her blood smeared against asphalt
has shimmering dots
revealing that
We are family.

This is to her and others like her.
The ones from before
and the ones after.

My sister will never hear these words
But as long as its known

I love her.
Even if the world wasn't ready for her.

Tomorrow we go back to school
I do not know if I will act civil or act the fool
Tomorrow you will be seating next to me
Will I hold the joy at bay or fail to contain?

Gosh, my body shudders in excitement
I get to see you once more
Three weeks has been far too long
To see your face will bring me enlightenment

Tomorrow, Tomorrow oh man tomorrow
I get to talk to you
admire you
Be lifted in happiness not sorrow
When I see you again tomorrow

Too much going on
Too much circling me
My breath slows as I tell myself
"Everything will be okay" and only for a moment does that work
Before I began to slow my breath even more so I wouldn't have to take another breath
Because breathing comes with too much trouble
Every breath I take I get a new problem to deal with
Each inhale ices my lungs with trouble and each exhale burns my nostrils with worry
Maybe I just need to stop breathing

There isn't enough time  in the day to reiterate what I have said before.
My words would be as long as the circumference of the milky way
But like the center of milky way, its too distant so its unheard.
I acknowledge that this poem is a ripple of the former ripple which was a former ripple of the byproduct of heartache but its creation, this reiteration is all I have left.

To spit or not too spit
That is the question.

Actually I don't stoop to the level where i must act in a childish way to get revenge.
Being *******, to me, that's the best revenge because I never talk to them again.

I am a fugitive.
my thoughts are my crimes.
Silence is my punishment.

Never have I ever thought that you would be gone.
The notion of you leaving me didn't enter my thoughts because it was never welcomed.
You were never going to leave me. You leaving me is like the Sun leaving the Earth to be blanketed by space. It was just never going to happen
Until It did.

Once it did, I was at lost for words.
It was as if i was left to be blanketed by space.
It was as if a part of me was torn from my soul
Once it did, I was lonely.

All that I have left are the memories that we both share.
The laughter, the tears, the I wish you were my sibling,
I visit each memory like an old friend and have a cup of coffee with him.
I relished the fact that I could still hear your laughter in the corners of my mind.
I don't regret a minute, a second, a millisecond of the time we had together
And I hope you don't either.

Happiness?
Happiness, lives not here.
It will never slumber in the chambers of my heart.
Look else where for happiness.
For already has it past, Happiness's cart.

i would not allow an individual to set a foot on paths i have rummaged through the pain is not worth perspective

I have become fluid as water
malleable for his needs
malleable for  his wants
but when he attempts to fold me over
like a blanket
I will be stone
Tomorrow.

I am a thief.
I am a child who doesn't know what he wants.
I am a ******.
I am a lost.
I am the cause every trouble.
I am not worthy.
I am nothing.

And yet I try to prove it all wrong.

Liking the Straight guy
Is like liking the white wall
It's there to amuse
but won't catch if you fall.

I'm in love and I am scared.
A child lost in the forest of his feelings, hearing the muffled cries of past love.
A child with no flashlight trudging along the shard filled path desperately trying to not fall on the past.
I'm in love and I am scared.