I am a thief.
I am a child who doesn't know what he wants.
I am a ******.
I am a lost.
I am the cause every trouble.
I am not worthy.
I am nothing.

And yet I try to prove it all wrong.

Liking the Straight guy
Is like liking the white wall
It's there to amuse
but won't catch if you fall.

I'm in love and I am scared.
A child lost in the forest of his feelings, hearing the muffled cries of past love.
A child with no flashlight trudging along the shard filled path desperately trying to not fall on the past.
I'm in love and I am scared.

He carries remnants of a broken child.
Cradles the pieces as he tries
To silence the echoing cries.
He provides love with strong tight hugs
But the pressure isn't enough.
He can't continue on nurturing himself.

I feel different.
More in-tuned to emotions
yet more in-tuned to reason.
I just can't be one without the other.

And do you love him?
My heart gnaws on my conscience.
Does the Friendzone count?

And it's behind these notes
I hide and let myself sing.
Tomorrow will be better.

Truth is...
I can hear a part of my heart
Protesting with every heartbeat.
It screams
"Don't date, Just wait"
But My mind tells me
"It's done too late"
While I just stand there
like
Truth is...
I still want you...

T ired of feeling like this
      because you are so far away, stuck in your head with what others would think
       not thinking of anything but that
R eally? That's the question I ask, why? I wasn't good enough, if you break his heart or he yours you'll go  
     with me and be mine.
Y esterday I might have waited. Yesterday I might have just dreamed but now I got someone
     I don't know what will happen, but I am going to TRY.

Tonight was busy
Got more to check off the list
But can't check him off.

Talk to you later I will say
Not Goodbye nor Farewell
Because in doing so I will be admitting that you are leaving

I will not hug you, with wet eyes and a mind wishing you'll stay
I will fight the urge of running towards you as you walk away
because I will lie to myself and tell
That I will TTYL

I will shake your hand with a firm grasp and pat you on the back
I will let your hand slip away and my voice will not crack
When I speak those words with a heavy heart,
Knowing I might not ever see you again,
TTYL

Tu eres mi amor, you are my love
and tu tienes mi corazón para siempre

Nothing can compare to the love I have for you
Not the sun or the Luna
Nor las  estrellas
you are the goddess(more of a god) of fortune and good luck, Fortuna

The love for you has been building up
Like a volcano and it wants to explode
its fuegos artificiales going up in the sky

Tu eres mi amor
and you have my heart forever

You are my love

I thought I was done
but love aint done with my yet
when is it ending?

Two Minutes*
That's all I need to hold on to you
To inhale the familiar scent of yours
To rest my head upon your chest  

Two Minutes
That's all I need to tell you that you are the only one that matters
To kiss your cheek and hold you tighter
To hold you and feel safe

Two Minutes
That's all I need to tell you I will always care
To kiss those lips with passion
To cherish the feelings I will have

All I need is Two Minutes

Draw me a picture
with my heart in two pieces
not with the shattered line drawn in the middle
but with them on opposite sides
Because one side is still needing to catch up.

My weekend was horrible
leaving me emotionally numb
But on the bus I heard you bickering with another guy
"I am going to do it today."
"You should do it now."
Back and forth Y'all did

Then when we were inside
You asked for me to go outside
"I like two people, One is this girl, do you know the other one."
I knew right then
My mood changed
my cheeks warmed
"I do but I rather hear it from you." I said
I was in heaven
You took sometime and then you said
"Well it's you, I like you too."
Even though I knew
My day changed in two seconds flat

Even though you like her also
And I don't like being a a second choice
I will take this and make the most of it
because I have been waiting
For this moment
To make me feel happy in two seconds flat

At times winter visits early,
Spitting fragments of yesterday’s snow,
To strike an already scarred face.

Yet, at other times the curve of its finger
Interlocks with the conscience’s
As it blabbers on like an infant.

But then his back severed the cord as it closed the door to our conversation.
What wanted to be said got hit in the face and retreated into my throat.
and
I choked on every syllable.
I too turned not desiring to be cradled by the arms of silence.
I opened the door leading to the case of stairs.
Every step mimicked his words enraging my feet
and
They attempted to mute but they grew weary in defeat.
Closing my eyes I spun facing his general direction.

It was as if an audience drew in breath,
Afraid their breathing would interrupt the ****** of this scene.

White noise complained obnoxiously, fluttering nigh the sides of my ear
And
An inferno asphyxiated brashly the cells my heart neared.


“You were-are worth it”


But those words muffled by the cradling arms of silence
Were carried by the white noise
Before
Ashed by the inferno.

When I was born I was a blank canvas
You outlined with words carefully placed with a soothing voice.
You drew out what you wanted with rights and wrongs you forced onto me.
You colored me in once you felt satisfied.
I don't want to be your canvas anymore.

And I walked among the crowd and realized
I don't belong anywhere but the safety of my mind.

I can't cry
Not because I don't care
but because I would know
That everything was real

You left me in the darkness
All alone to fend for myself
You let me keep thinking
But you loved someone else

Was it all just a big game?
I the fool as you played charades?
Cause I can’t handle
This big scandal
Why oh why must I feel this way?

I am tired of playing these games
I am tired of feeling the pain
Do you want me?
Do you want to hold me?
Do you need me?
Cause I am slipping
Away

I look in the mirror
*why hasn't it cracked yet

I smear the tears on the page
and they make words.
Confessions.
Hopes.
Dreams

These Stereotypes
are the barriers I face
Time To break em all

When there's too much to say I write it all down
but
When there's too much to write I close my eyes
and sleep

With everything seeming so boring
You were the only thing with color.
Everything was always black and white but
When you came around, everything you touched seem to light up with pink, blue, yellow
You were the color white that gets mixed in with everything to make it be brighter

It's funny how I try to move on
Try to take leaps but no matter how high Iget
I always fall back to you

If it were only me I would stand in the line of fire
feel my body turned gymnast contort as the bullets riddle
kiss the ground with prideful lips, rise, and implore for more.

but life is a cruel dictator and commends my brethren to torture along side of me.

What is it that we are doing?
The TV murmurs in the background.
Breaths are shallow.
Nothing makes sense anymore.

And then I brushed the dust off my knees.
The dust protested surrounding me but then they were arrested and taken by the wind.
I looked to the sky with a determine gaze
and the sky revealed the sun.
It was going to be okay
no matter how many times I can to brush the dust off my knees.

And we can not stop coming in like a wrecking ball
So clear all the tables from your wide mess hall.
we bout to damage up, We bout to trash it up
We bout to rip all of your paper love.

It's time to begin but with the beast inside
We tend to stop and think, then we let it fly
And no matter if you cry
All our "pretty faces"at some point have to die.

Rain fell from the sky
Drains into my soul
I regret something
That I never told

A thousand sun's wavered in the wind
hanging on the tips of a tree's arm.

They tell me you're no good
That much is understood.
But they don't know you like I do
No they don't know you like I do.


Your mistakes cover your path
They prevent them to see
That if they were rooted and thrown aside
A good guy you could be.

I guess I am tangled in your hair again.
Anchoring my boat in your eyes.
but now this time
I wonder what is going to happen?

I had a dream.
In this dream ,that my mind conjured up for my enjoyment while my body rested, you were there.
I was there and some random lady who was a TV personality was also there.
We were all talking and having fun.
You smiled as she made a joke and my eyes lingered at your lips.
I wanted to kiss you but knowing how you didn't know yourself I contained myself to the spot I was standing in. and Plus I didn't want to do it in front of her cause she gave me the creeps.

You reached into your pockets and there was 30 dollars. You thought you placed them back in but I saw them falling. Twirling like Maple leaves onto the damp floor.
I picked it up and and called your name but you already went.
I spent my time throughout the whole dream trying to find you.
Jogging down stairs I didn't even know Ours school had.
Asking people if they have seen you
I searched and searched but to no avail.

I was left with nothing more than 30 dollars and a sadness that began to sweep it's self over me.
Then the cops came and I was running from them for no reason
then I woke up.

You know growing at one point in life we loved our childhood but now my life is even better now that i have you.
you make it so much better girl i just wanna make you happy
and now im free, free falling yeah free fallin you have me feeling like im on cloud 9
let be there for you girl cause i wanna be your forever

my life changed dramaticly when you told me we were through it made me feel like i didnt even wanna live anymore so i told myself i gotta change
so i searched high n low for a girl like you but there was no hope because nobody could ever replace you

so i wrote a note telling you that i wanted you back and if you came back then i would change i took it and hung it up three days later you walked in my house found my body laying on the floor you looked up and saw the note i wrote you just started crying and o how i wish i could wake up but i was already gone

And it seems I was biting off more than I could chew.
When I told you I still Liked you.
I was tangled with my wishes and hopes
that I lost sight of reality.
It was only until I stopped for a moment
and looked back
did I realize
I should have
kissed
you
.

Take some time and see that I’m the one
Take some time and see that I love you
Don’t ever forget that I was the first
To break the walls , to get through


Lend closer and feel the warmth inside
Lead closer and feel my heart beat
But don’t forget, oh lord don’t forget
I was the first you did meet

Take my hand and fly away
Take my hand together we’ll stay
Take my hand so we can be alone

Give me the love and the time
So I can say that you are mine
Show me all that I have shown

Considering you a fallacy is a hollowness in my chest
a bent-out percussion instrument, it's quality won't be the best.

A flower caught in the wind's bent arms I saw today
I began disputing it's given name.
A Calla Lilly, A rose, a daisy
Perhaps it's -I'm just crazy .
It's a flower with beauty and it offers it in display
I saw a flower today
I saw a flower today.

The orange ambushed the tip of my tongue
my tongue felt the keen sting of acidity.

I let my guard down
And I let you in
But you didn't catch me
I'm still fallin
In and out of love

With every touch
I exploded with Bliss
But With every touch
I longed for your kiss
But you never seemed to give it up

You had me in your grasp
With only enough room to breathe
Twisting and turning
I wanted to be free
From you I had enough

I feel the dawn approaching
Ruffling through my hair
trying to play the good guy
but the sun was never there.

I hear the grumbling wind
collecting whispers as it spins
mumbling, stumbling every now and then.

Take A mintue to hear what is being said
I never chose to have feelings for men
Take a moment for it to register
That I could have married and had children with her
but I didn't
I decided to be honest and speak up
But I was shot down

Like a piegon shot from the sky
As it only wanted to fly

You tell me that you don't care when I am older
but right now I am a child i don't know any better
but I do
I know what I am and chose this route so later in life
I Wouldn't suffer as much

Like eating junk food everyday for lunch
and grwoing up to find out I have stomcah Problems because of my lunch

I chose this path, the path of coming out,  knowing the dangers
Knowing what Challenges I would have to face
And this path I am taking will make me stronger

The pavement absorbs the energy my foot gives As I run
The air is displaced and it chills my skin
Who knew I would be the only one
But I should have known Time and time Again


You told me that this was the only we could be together
Me running away from you
But there was never any love to occur
Stuck with my love wanting to get through

Maybe I became distant for the simple reason I no longer can hold a conversation
can no longer talk as if everything is okay
can no longer be there
when at home i am a nobody

or maybe its just me?

Don't call me back
Cause I will be gone out the door
Don't get my attention
Cause now My heart is torn
But I will ignore the pain
I will forget that I even liked you
Cause you showed me
That you ain't worth it anymore

And I cried
Let everything go
and cried.