I would rather sit back and watch Scrubs than go out tonight.

throw my hair in a bun, put on my glasses and read to my lover.

press my cold toes into bare shins
I want to interlock fingers.
sit back-to-back and guess which knee he has cradled to his chest.

I want life to be simply complicated.

forget how many seconds make up an ounce.
I want hours to be measured in irrational numbers.

making shadow puppets on our naked chests,
we make breathing look like an art form.

knotted ribs and hip bones

...

that's all we really are.

2 days
It took two days for me to fall
And far I have fallen

See I've always been careful
Watching every step to make sure I don't walk along a crack
I'm superstitious in that way I guess
I've always been one
To keep my hands out in front of me
So that when I do trip
I can catch myself
Hands over my heart
I do not do trust falls
Do not let myself lean backwards into just any pair of arms
Do not have enough faith in humanity to do so
But every now and then
I let my guard down
Do not mean to
But I do
Security is hard enough as is
Keeping unwanted palms off my body is a kind of routine I have come to know well
Putting up a barbed wire fence along the circumference of my skin
I have been touched too many times without consent
Without invitation
I have learned to flinch at a man's touch
I have been conditioned to stand stiff
To stay still
So
When I finally let myself go
Let my arms fall to my sides
Close my eyes and descend,
I hope for the best
Know that I do not do this often
Do not do this lightly
Do not melt with ease
My bones are not made of wax
My limbs are not candle sticks
Instead
They are iron
Titanium built
So when I get weak in the knees
Know that it is a rarity
That vulnerability is not a strength of mine
Baring my soul
Is the most naked I could possibly be
The thing about me
Is that
I have an addictive personality
But regardless
Of how much I smoke
I will always find people more addicting than nicotine
I do not usually think things over
I am more impulsive than anything else
But know that you are an impulse
That I would be happy to wake up next to
Know that you are not one of my spur of the moment tattoos
I will not regret you in the morning
See
I am trying
So hard
To let my parachute open up
Trying so hard
To float down gently,
Not worry about whether or not someone will catch me
But I am still holding on
Just in case
I hit the ground

I am willing to take risk.

I think I am always an afterthought,
one that people seem to disregard,
It seems that people call me when there is nothing left,
and I don't know how I feel about being being second best.
Dates are asked and promised,
and phone calls are never returned,
the tightly tied strings of friendship are fringed and burned.
The effort is never made,
as it is assumed I will always be there,
an afterthought, a maybe,
forgotten without a care.
You don't jump at the chance to be with me,
it's always a "maybe", or a "we will see."
I am not number one on any lists,
not "best looking", or "who I want to kiss."
But I'm an afterthought,
the one lingering in the back of your mind,
the "not too bad", the "she's okay",
"with her it's an alright time."
An afterthought,
I do not want to be,
But a first thought,
the one you want to see.

Now you're just a constant reminder of why I don't trust people

Baby, I have a hurricane of hair
and a storm behind my eyes
and one hand on my hip,
ready to fight for my beliefs.
But I wouldn't mind
if you'd be my sunshine,
kiss the lids of my eyes,
I'll take my hand off my hip,
put your hands on my thighs,
I'll let the anger slip away, if just for today
so I can recite for you
my prettiest poetry
in between cinnamon kisses
and tell you stories that I heard
in the rustling of trees on a breeze
and maybe it's too much that I want
to know all of your everything,
but I'm imagining moonlit dancing
and lazy days spent listening to music
and walking through new cities, hand in hand.
We could have it all, baby,
let's just give it a chance.

you told me once
that sleep deprivation
is the equivalent of
seven shots of whisky.

so i drank your words
on tuesday afternoon
and slammed down
seven shots of whisky
on wednesday night
and watched the sunrise
on thursday morning.

the whisky wore off long ago
but i am still here hoping that
if i stay awake long enough
i will stop dreaming
of you.