i hear your car pull into the driveway
and I rush to close my eyes.
i pull the covers to my shoulders
and pretend that i am sleeping
this has become my ritual
i can hear your key turn in the lock and my heart presses against my ribcage.
i have been waiting for this
you quietly enter our bedroom
the smell of snow follows you in.
(just for a moment.)
the rustle of layers being shed
i feel the bed shift as you climb in next to me
you reach for me
lightly touching my side
in this dark room
i am beaming
it's all you say,
but in it i can hear the high note of every love song.
with a smile firmly in place
i slowly open my eyes
only to find myself alone
in a room miles away
This is the first poem I've shared in years, so any critique is more than welcome.
i'm twenty-one years old and most days don't seem worth it.
growing up i always had the assumption that these feelings would go away.
that life would become more appealing
that my depression and anxiety would finally stop sleeping over.
no one ever wants to tell you that you don't grow out of depression.
that you learn to wear it like a second skin
they just keep telling you that things will get better
and i want to believe them
so i go home
and watch the clock
and day dream about eventually
and all these years later
i still have a tendency to wander
and you watch me.
you watch me drift from foot to foot just testing my own stability
(i'm a lot more stable than i used to be)
i'm finally used to me
reminds me of bumble bees and ice cream
we ****** on my best friend's futon
i had bits of gravel embedded in my palm
i'm always falling head over heels
yours and mine
the fairy tales of anatomy books
you are the reason i stopped believing in love poems.