my eyes were more blue
but you never did tell me
you liked green seas too

She didn’t believe him
When he called her
Beautiful
She didn’t mind
That the visible notches
Of her spine
Worried him
When he ran his hands
Down her back
He could feel every connection
Wrapped tightly in sinking skin
And despite the imperfections
He still believed
That she was a masterpiece
Crafted for the world to see

brilliant transformations scare her
she doesn’t know what she’ll become or how they’ll react but she knows this is what she wants
this is what she’s been waiting for and even though they’ll stare
brilliant transformations scar her
but she will convalesce, she will blossom, and they will adjust
and she’ll finally be everything she wanted

one two three four five
here it comes again
one two three four five
but why is she surprised
one two three four five
(they said the counting would help)
one two three four five
“look in the mirror”
one two three four five
“tree trunk thighs / stomach expanding like the universe”
one two three four five
outside doesn’t matter (they said)
one two three four five
“eyes too wide / nose too long / lips don’t close”
one two three
so she can’t stop the words pouring out in heart-piercing whispers
one two
“ugly / unlovable / unkissable / unfriendable”
one
maybe one day she’d pour enough ugly out to be size
zero