i'm trying to lose sleep over you.
i'm trying to touch you in my dreams.

- sweet memory,
float to me.

Tomorrow,
I'll put my feet in the water.
I don't think it'll be all that great,
however,
because you will be far away from me.

the thing that i miss the most,
is the moment
that never even happened.

It scares me to think that one day you'll forget my number.
You won't remember how I grew out my nails just because you loved your back being scratched.
That one day I'll try to find you,
and you won't know the color of my eyes.
I won't be the girl you tell your kids about whenever they need love advice.
But at least I'll always keep the memory of who we were together.
And my heart will never be far away from you,
my love.

I'm a passenger
to a train full of remorse.

"you're like an earthquake
making cracks in the earths crust,
and i'm in the aftershock"

and i cried.

I puff out the poison,
and I inhale the smoke.

I think I am screaming,
yet let out a croak.

i really wanted you to be the one
i ****** my life up with.
whenever his eyes found mine,
it really made me sick.
it was like i could hear you through his voice.
and whenever he blew out his smoke,
i could smell your hair.

A shattered promise falls limply to my feet;
I've given it my best.

please do no tell me to calm down
whenever you still kiss the palms of my hands.
and please do not tell me you do not feel the same way
whenever you continuously hold your shaking body to mine.
please do not tell me that you are in love with her,
whenever you have entered my bloodstream recently.
please.

Her face is strong,
but her hands are giving way.
She refuses to cry towards me.

You were a lullaby,
and I knew that you hurt.
You're a song
that is way
too low for
my range.

You frantically tried to clear out your backseat.
I sat there, staring at you.
Was I supposed to start?
I told you I was experienced with consoles.
- You told me my ******* were so pretty.

I'm bruised from your large hands crashing down on my backside.
You told me my ******* were so pretty.

Gravity tried so very hard to force us together,
but I just couldn't keep my grasp on you.

i tried to get high
to forget everything
you ever told me.
i noticed that
you were far more
addictive than any
drug i had ever taken.

I want him to love me
like I love him,
because I love him
so very ******* much.
It hurts not be loved
by someone you love.

Oh God, it hurts so much.

I should have known to leave
whenever we started ******* in the back of your car,
instead of in the grassy meadow right out the window.
I should have known to tell
whenever your hands started to leave bruises,
instead of butterflies.

We are two separate puzzles,
with completely different pieces.
But it's almost as if
all the colours are the exact same.
So I play my pieces on yours,
and find a way to become beautiful
once again.

We were loose at the corners,
but we held on for dear life,
and we melted into something new altogether.
I've stopped waiting to be rescued,
and I'm letting you,
instead,
kidnap me.
You tell me, "okay."
And I've learned that maybe your okay will be our forever.

So I shut my mouth,
and rest my head in the crook of your shoulder.
I love you.

My true love has my heart in his hand, mine.

intoxication
can be a deathly excuse
to the girl with sad eyes.

getting high
can be the last straw
to the girl with long legs

also,
trading your secrets
with someone else
can ****
me.

He's writing down everything she's saying. I only wish he were writing down what I am thinking.
2. I seek comfort in your eyes, but I find pleasure in the way your lips move when you ask me for a pencil.
3. My long legs just want to entangle themselves in yours.
4. ****** ****. Ghetto *****. Plaid shirts. Blonde dye. Cheap perfume. Beautiful boy.
5. The 2 ordered pairs are you and me.
6. I want to run my hands through your hair. I want to place my mouth around those long, slender fingers.
7. My study guide is your angular face.
8. Numb as the spot on my bruised hand. Blue as the veins transporting blood. Wet as the spot between my legs.
9. As my fist connected with your jaw, I felt your jaw bones relax. My simple touch caused you to be calm. I find shelter in that.

you could break me into fragments
of flesh and bones,
but i will always be under your compulsion.
you could rip my throat out
with your sharp teeth and vicious words,
and i'd still answer to your calls.

whenever you sent me away,
i thought i had lost you forever,
and my fingers couldn't stay still.
i wanted you back.
i needed the feeling of euphoria you have me.

i searched so long for the human i have given everything to.
it took me several months to realise that you're not anything to believe in.

you're a dark soul with a bitter twist
behind ever, "i love you."
you're the shadows that haunt my figure
whenever the sun shines.
and worst of all,
you are the one thing that even brought the sun out for me.

She slept all day
as the wind rolled throughout her brittle bones.
An ache began in her stomach,
and traveled to her toes.

What if the curse was real,
and everything was ruined?
For the sake of him,
she'd be okay.

a plague
interrupted her mind.
a disease spread throughout
her hideous bloodstream,
and she soon
became just another
one.

you fly with broad shoulders
stuff your mouth full of Wonder Bread
and call yourself a saint
strum a note and make it
discord - breath swirls like wind

2. look deep into the cracks of your skin -
could you please stop calling me that!
if anything could phase you
it would have to be a plane,
only they can cut through clouds.

3. my first collector edition model
placed on a desk near my window
i see birds flying through your hair outside.
you picked one up and
tossed it in the river

4. do you find it easier to steal from a child
or do you think adults fall harder under
pressures you put onto others?
either way, a hurricane is coming
and we all hope you are being safe

I've bruised my ******* knuckles in hopes
that you'd bring me a band-aid.
I should have known all you'd do is bring the salt.

a kiss
does not mean
you can rest your hands
on the valleys of my body.

a sigh
does not mean
i am willing to open up
the most precious gift to you.

With hands full of barbed wire,
I squeezed as hard as I could manage.
If anything,
I'd bleed to death.

A fate,
I could live with,
so undeniably horrid.

I've got demons crawling in my nervous system.
Come,
give each of them a kiss.
"I don't belong to you," I scream
as you place your collar on my neck.
Owned.
Marked.
Troubled I am,
as I fall under the spell of dark eyes.
Pulsating heartbeats quiver distantly.
Distance.
That is not what I want out of this.
I want to be yours.
Demons are in my heartbeats,
come pierce them each with a lullaby.

Loving you is like trying to explain
dark burgundy of the wine you drink
to the blind.

Letting go of you was just as
easy as realizing my life
was ending from my own self termination.

I could call you Sir until the day you were dead,
- but would you notice how my lips moved whenever I said it?

I could bring my hands to rest upon your lap,
- but would you notice how my fingers curl up?

I could say goodbye,
- but I'd never notice how you wouldn't care.

I tried to sneak out once.
My stair case warned my mother I was trying to leave.

I tried to get drunk once.
I didn't even get buzzed,
but I played along.

I tried to fall in love once.
You grabbed my hands,
and you held tight.
I didn't even feel anything.
but I played along.

"NO,"
is stained onto my skin forever.
Pulsating blood
leaks onto
secret pages.
Tears fall
slowly onto
a new shoulder.
Different hands are held into
each sunrise,
and the heart turns colder
after each new beat is
shown to her.
Bodies are being displayed to
blind eyes and
deaf ears.
New words
are brought to her had
with each breath she draws.

I think reality needs to sink her sharp teeth into your skin.
I think it's time that someone taught you how it feels
to be a clock that doesn't move.
A predator that can't prey; a victim that gets away relentlessly.
I've asked to be spared, but you have no remorse for me.
I'm just another prisoner to the sick chambers known as your heart.
Hear me,
whenever the seconds begin to come alive again,
you will do nothing more.
The predator will begin to hunt,
and the victim, you, will be trapped.

her hair was pulled back,
and it gave me access to all of her features.
a long, slender neck
held up a beautifully sculpted head.
it was complete with sharp jaw bones,
and a pair of full, red lips.
her eyes were a deep brown
that pierced right through my own.

i lifted my fist,
and smashed in into the glass before me.
everything was gone.
the beautiful angel in front of my eyes,
dissipated in seconds.
i could feel her essence
washing through me,
into me.

my hair was down,
and it gave him chills throughout his body.
a brown, curly mane framed
around my round face.
it was complete with a dark purple vein
running through my cheek.
the glass formed a new palette.

i'm sorry that
i smell your skin before anything.

i'm sorry that
you're the reason i paint my nails.

i'm sorry that
i can't stop calling you.

i'm sorry that
you never truly felt the same way about me.

i'm sorry that
nothing seems to ever work out.

i'm sorry.

Inside of my mind, you'll find a vast part of it is full of repressed memories of you.  I can remember the way your teeth would grab your bottom lip while saying the first letter of my name. Do you remember that time we were in your backyard, and you told me that everything would be okay?
Why did you have to tell me that? I didn't want everything to be okay.
  -We were supposed to be a **** up in a room full of perfections.

i open my window at night,
in hopes that i'll wake up to you
curled by my side.
i've found out,
however,
that the only thing i wake up to
is rain water
splashed across my **** body.

I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE EVERYTHING YOU
WANTED ME TO BE,
BUT I REALIZED THAT EVERYTHING YOU
WANTED WASN'T EVEN ON EARTH.
YOU ONLY WANTED THINGS THAT
WERE ON GALAXIES TOO FAR AWAY TO
EVEN SEE.
WHENEVER I FINALLY CAME
TO THIS CONCLUSION,
YOU WERE MILES AWAY FROM ME.
OH,
I WANTED YOU
BACK SO VERY
VERY BADLY
BABE.

I can remember the way the sunlight bounced off of you hands.
I wanted to believe you controlled the world.
You were my God.

if he says please,
you're supposed to do what he wants.
he expects you to make the journey down south,
and if he says please,
you have to do what he asks.
there's no such thing as "no,"
if he's nice.
you'll listen to him,
if he says please.
but if you say please,
at once, he must stop.
although, often it isn't please anymore.

so,
this is my warning to you.
if you love a man who says please,
he doesn't feel the same.
he wants your service
for only one thing,
and he knows to always use please
to quiet your pain.
six letters will build you up,
break you down,
and hurt you.
you don't have to listen
to his please.

To me,
you're the whisper I find in snow.
You're the emphasis on my "T's"  
You sing me stardust.
You scream me the sun.

He kisses my lips,
and he ***** my soul.
"There's no one else here," he tells me.

He holds my hands,
and he abuses my heart.
"Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me." I beg.

he held the brown pipe up to my lips;
he told me my parents would never find out.
but he took me home too early,
and i tripped going up my front porch.

1.
your eyes are like stars,
and i like stars.
that's what i told you
the night at the carnival.
honestly,
i just wanted you to make me forget your eyes.
you were supposed to make me remember your lips.
or maybe your hands.
why your eyes?

2.
a scarred wrist
entangled in mine.
beautiful, dark eyes
found my own.
a wrecked story
including chapters
of us both
unfurled right before us.
pitiful kisses were displayed
in the shadows.
weak embraces
wrapped me up
and held me tight.
a solid cry
pleaded for me
as i walked away,
again.

Oh,
do stay a little while longer.

At least
wait until our coffee has gone cold,
and our tongues weak.