All I want is to love you for the rest of my life,
(But to tell me you hate me and how you can't stand me in your life)
To wake up every morning with you by my side,
(In the den is where I sleep alone as I cry)
Knowing that no matter what happens I'll be able to come home to your loving arms.
(You left me alone where did you go,believe me I'd tell you but we both already know)
I want to share everything with you.
(But you keep taking everything away from me too
You know this is true you leave me with nothing, control is all you do)
Easy to talk to you about our ideas and dreams and a little every day things that makes us laugh
(But then you turn around and Crush my heart as you start to laugh, telling me How disgusting and how you hate my ***)
And cut  not-so-little things that we can't help worrying about.
(But you make me worry about everything as you scream and shout tell me I'm nothing and i need to get out)
I want to give you my love.
(But Then you tell me you want to **** me)
a place you can always come to you for acceptance or the simple comfort that silence brings when things  left unspoken can still be understood.
(What's there to understand because you're never silent when you're pointing your finger and telling me how low of a person that I am)

They're here again
I can hear them all again
back and forth
talking and screaming
just like  the beginning
they don't stop
The fire theHeat the fire  the burning desire to run away
  because this is everyday
the back and forward screaming my name  making me feel insane 
they're coming to get me
are you playing this game
I move the bed up up against the door  some luck then that's for sure
the room is on the 4th floor
brick wall out side the window,
nothing else that's for sure.
Still convinced they'll find a way inside
So barricade the window
a blanket cover to
no one will see me inside what are they coming for what do they want with me ,  hurt me, I'm confused and dazed scared just wish they would hurry and do it so it would be finished I can't keep going through it

Best friend oh best friend where are you
I want someone down for me like id be down for them
Someone I know that will have my back and never to
turn the corner without looking back
Someone I share my thoughts with and has no judgement on me
Just making sure im safe at whatever it may be
And maybe they don't agree with everything but truly believes in me
Someone that knows me for right and wrong
Someone who's willing to show me the possibility in life to carry me on
Will help each other throughout thick and thin
Someone that holds my secrets and holds them deep within
Someone who will tell the truth at whatever it is
Someone who won't sleep with my girl or boy friend
Someone who defends me and my name
*when someone's talking smack we defend each other the same
and when we fight we get over it right
someone I can trust that gets over the fuss
I don't need a bully or someone mean
Just someone who's willing to be there when i need
them and I'll do the same
someone that when we get older will still be In each others life
And when our time is through either one will be
there to say good bye too
With all this comes the same from me to them
*I just want to find that true best friend

Never a Friend
bluffing until the end
ever morning we'd start it again
Huffing and puffing
the pulling begin
making those marks they've never scard
my friend
falling over and trying to stand
You'll always think your right and I was your left hand man
control is your motive power trip slogan
wish you could see it and not just be it
I'm not the witch's Taylor or your finger man slayer
never a friend just learn how to player

How could you be so cruel,*
How you invite me over and then treat me like a fool,
making me look stupid,
stop being so quick,
Your attitude has changed,
your Double faced its insane,
I'm trying to figure you out, 
how this all came about,
you speak in such a high voice with anger,
Your vague, your words to short,
your answers to quick,
debate with me about stupid ****,
I'm so confused why I'm here,
  stop and look in the mirror,
I know the truth and so do you,
we all go through it but we own up to it, responsibility for our actions,
Which then leads to satisfaction,
I'm dumb and been used,
but wait I'm really confused because you use everyone that will light up your fuze,
I'm already going through it,
its very clear I'm your last resort,
Your not right is what I discovered,
so you continue to disrespect me,
So cold,
so angry,
life of Irritation starts to unfold,
 Making me wonder what did i do,
 Despite all this I know its not me its you,
I don't deserve to be belittled,
so ill Call you out on your act ,
its time for your bluff to be uncovered,
But I like you and that's why I'm puzzled,
Im feeling really Jealous
i want to be strong but I know
This will all go wrong,

Another day another night,
another hour another fight,
this room is filled with fear and uncertainty,
is a solution near,
no it's very far and nothing ever seems clear,
Once long ago
happiness of course that's what I wished for,
Unhappiness is what I got,
I've tried,
I've lied ,
I've fell,
I've cried,
my end is near,
I'm making this clear,
exhausted that's me,
I'm tired,
please see,
I can't do this no more,
my life of struggle is brakes every piece of me,
my stomach is turning growling and swirling,
hunger it hurts,
who will I miss or who will miss me, no one i see,
I only live another day for my pup I walk today.