Have you ever held the hand
of a man who worked for a living?
A construction worker
A carpenter
A tower repair man?
That’s what my God’s hands are like
Capable
Strong
Warm and
Ever-ready

Like a fragile bird
I could easily forget my wings
looking for warm arms to carry me
When I should be taking off
putting faith in warm air
and the strength in me

I’ve never looked out
and saw a man
who looked like all he wanted was affection
I’ve never looked out and saw
a heart I thought I might enjoy
but eventually break
because I think I need more than affection
I need a twin
a friend
a thousand times before I need a lover
That kid is beautiful
Hey
But he’s not calling me higher

Poise and rationality
I think we can all agree
are key characteristics of Queens
but I’m starting to fear
that these things will never darken my door
thrown open wide to the wind as it is
No
The shadows that darken my halls are different

have you ever been so tired
that it feels like your soul is dying
You know your body can keep moving
and doing the same things
but somehow the exhaustion has put part of you away somewhere?
Like . . . you’ve come to the end of a rope you’ve never come to the end of before

and suddenly it’s not about who cares . . .
you wish they cared a little less
wish you didn’t matter quite so much . . .
leaving isn’t always about your self-esteem
sometimes it’s just the weight of pain

deep eyes
always ready to stare straight into yours
Lips that don’t ask personal questions
and only volunteer a few of his own
with laughing humility
Quick to tease gently
arms that hug with a whisper that says
“stay here as long as you need”