Eunice Moral

Eunice Moral May 2016

"Do you think less of me?"
"Why would you even consider that thought?"
He sounded offended.
"I guess failures make you less of a person."
He pulled me into a hug and breathed to my hair.
Shushing the chaos that took residence
in the crevices of my thoughts.
In that moment, failing seemed
to be worlds away.
He looked at me like I was magic,
and maybe I was.
Maybe I was too preoccupied
highlighting my flaws,
and there he was counting
all the amazing things
that I deny day in and day out.
He looked at me like I can do anything,
and maybe I actually could.
Maybe I could be invincible,
because it sure as hell felt
like it whenever he smiles at me
with the silent words saying
"I'm proud of you, always."
Maybe I am set for
greater things, maybe I am so
much more than I give myself
credit for,
maybe I am meant to be a
supernova in the vastness of his galaxy.
How could this amazing man
hug a ticking bomb as if
cradling a new born child?
How could he see past the
imperfection and still call
me beautiful?
How could a man like him
exist in a world full of
doubts and cynicism?
And maybe I am actually winning
in life despite the failures
because I have him.

#love #poem #trust #man #affair #woman #failures

Eunice Moral Mar 2016

I watch you fall in love with someone else

"I've missed your voice."
I've missed singing you a song
even if I am off-key
You indulge in my whims
and caprices
and loved me anyway
You kissed me under that stairwell
when I said something weird.
I loved how your palms
cupped my cheek
that nanosecond between
our first kiss
how your eyes danced
with bliss
reflecting mine

Now I watch you fall in love
with someone else
How could a heart like
mine ever be okay with that?
I watch you watch her
I watch you smile at her
I watch you adore her
I watch you as your
eyes danced
at the sight of her.
Has it been like that with me?
I hope someday you'll
watch me fall in love too.

#love #brokenhearted

Eunice Moral Feb 2016

The 14th of February

You left me with a broken heart
that could never be mended
A gaping hole that can never be filled
A heart engulfed in coldness
that no amount of heat can thaw
A longing that will now forever be unrequited

Earlier that day I had this dead weight on my shoulders
There was this gnawing feeling I just can’t simply shake off
But I put on the mask of bravery, it was something I was accustomed
to wearing whenever I talk to you.
Each night before I go to sleep I remove the bravery mask
and cry myself to sleep, numbing the ever present pain.
Promise me no more crying you said while touching my cheeks.
I cannot promise that was my silent reply

Mom called that morning, she said it’s bad
From the scale of bad to death she was pretty euphemistic
It had always been bad, it never got better
So when she said it, I was confused by the worry in her voice
It couldn’t be what I was thinking, it just couldn’t be, I am not ready yet.
I will never be ready.

Room 202: I was standing just right outside the white door,
holding on to the useless doorknob who couldn’t support the heavy feeling in my chest
Brave Mask.
I opened the door with a smile but with evident worry in my eyes.
I immediately greeted you Happy Valentine’s day, an I love you and a peck on your left cheek
You said Happy Valentine’s and I love you too.
You held me by the nape a second too long
And between those labored breaths and that smile reserved for me, I knew it was time.
No. No. No.
Turmoil of emotion swirled inside me.
The Brave Mask slowly slipping off.

Your last breath was the one thing I wanted to erase in my head
It was etched there, vivid and all too painful to bear
You promised me a lot of things Papa
You said you will see me through my graduation in law school
You said you will be there as I sign the Roll of Attorneys
You didn’t keep you promises
And here I am trying to tip toe at the wake you have left
Here I am trying to picture the future without you
Here I am watching my very heart break every single time.

They say things get easier
That I would learn to accept that you are gone
But what they don't know is a part of me died with you
and I will never be whole ever again.

#love #sadness #death #day #longing #valentines

Eunice Moral Jan 2016

Favorite Nightmare

You are my favourite nightmare
The way you bathe me in blood
The way you grip me like a vise
The way you strangle me to the point of suffocation
The way you poison my veins
The way you drag me to limbo
The way you possess my weak soul
And each night, I would still go to sleep
begging for more.

#love #heartbreak #breakup

Eunice Moral Jan 2016

Facade

disingenuous laughter
that callous expression
of your face
the way your forehead
creases in confusion
accompanied by an unwilling
mind to ask further
those subtle hints
how was it possible to not see past it?
maybe I loved you so
to a fault

#love #heartbreak #breakup

Eunice Moral Jan 2016

The Fall Out

“We should break up”
I wish it was that blunt,
that simple. I wish I had the heart
to tell it directly to your face.
But what we did was dance around it,
until its fatal poison pulsates
from our hearts to our veins
marrying our blood
until it consumes us making it
uglier than it already is –
giving life to monsters we both feared,
until it clouded our judgments
until you hurt me more than I can allow you to,
until you curse me in your head.

We did it in a barely clever
hardly subtle way,
and I wish we could have done it differently
so that maybe, just maybe,
I could think of you without
that bitter taste in my mouth
and you will be a
distant beautiful memory.
Our ending was bad,
maybe it is the only worth
of the half decade we had.

#love #heartbreak #sad #breakup

Eunice Moral Jan 2016

Survivor

Years now I still collect the shells of the bullets
from the gun you used to fire directly at my heart.
Wearing them around my neck,
- a reminder of how I have survived all
the breaking.

#love #heartbreak #up #break #abandoned