Take me to the place, where I can breathe again,
Where the pain will fade and the nightmares will end
Take me please, I can't bare anymore
Cause it hurts too much and my hearts too sore
For you were my life
But you're here no more

Each step walking away from your lifeless body, will be the hardest steps I will ever have to take

As your lifeless body lay there,
Your soul is among angels,
Your spirit lives on in the people,
Who you gave memories to,
As your body layed there,
I gave you one last hug,
Your life will live in me,
And I will forever love you, mum.

Thank you,
For adding me, your daughter as another chapter of your life
Thank you for helping me write my own story into something I am proud of,
Thank you for editing my mistakes, making sure they did not weigh too heavily on me
Thank you for underlining lessons that taught values and morals to guide me
Thank you for giving me courage to turn another page, when I got too comfortable within myself
Thank you for allowing me to add pages to your story, adding chapters of worry for what I will turn out to be, worry where I was, worry my story would end quickly.
And I am sorry that I could not warn you how quickly your story would end, they said 70% chance of recovering again, from cancer, I said dont put down your pen yet, I will guide you and from these many months together our stories have become intertwined.
So as your end approaches I write this for you, write a thank you, the last bit of story I can for you, before I am left writing two words I was never meant to, not now, not so quickly, but darling mum, I hope for another story for you, that through the end of this one, somewhere else another story of yours will begin.

It is easy to say,
As you started slipping away from me, towards death
The world began looking far less beautiful
Maybe it was that your inner beauty made my world look artificially brilliant
But without your beautiful existence
My world is purely hopeless

Death,
is not distressingly beautiful
it is cruel and tiresome
there is no peace in the act of dying
there is only pained loved ones
who tire of wishing for your release

When I was younger, dreams of you haunted me with sickening fire and brutality,
I would wake up with tear streaked cheeks just begging the air that you would visit me
When I grew older, the dreams lessened and a strong ache grew in my chest,
allowing me to breathe less and less until the point where I suffocated with longing for you
And now I am here and instead of a burning ache I get outbursts of fierce intensity, bringing me to the edge of my sanity leaving me weak and broken
So tell me, did it hurt you to be apart from me or was I the only one counting the days