******* I am ****** up
I'm sick and I'm dying
I'm lost and I'm sighing
I wish I could start crying

Every word you say is true
no one knows me better then you
I wish we could start a new
and you didn't think I was ****** up too

How could you?
How could I know?
That you were lying
Did you not care how hard I was trying?

I warmed your head
I warmed you're bed
I mended your soul
How could I know?

I shouldn't have listened to your word
instead of your actions
Its so absurd
That I didn't see your different factions

How could I know?
How did you know?
That I was lying
Despite how hard I was trying

I played with your head
I ***** you're bed
I stole your soul
How did you let go?

I should have listened to your action
instead of your words
You warmed me with every reaction
how could I be so absurd?

Death I am you're son
Help me I can no longer run
my hearts become to heavy
I feel like I'm the only one

Farm my soul
Stop my weeping
give me peace
give me what I'm seeking

I feel you near
but I want you here
I want to feel the cold as I slip
and then your warm kiss on my lips

I write a poem
I put it away so no one can see
I write a little poem
to take away a piece of me

When life becomes too much
and it wont let me be
When I have no one as a crutch
I write a little poem to set me free

I open up my mind
I let the words flow
and soon I find
I have a place to go

When you're heart is heavy
when you're skin is thin
if you show some one your little poem
then you can let them in

What makes a good poem?
Is it that its long
Or short and sweet
If a few people like it, is that a good omen
Or should you be able to turn it into a song
Or should it be tidy and neat

Does it really matter
Does any one even care
If there is a good poem and no one is aware
Was it technically even there

I feel pretty empty
I feel pretty lost
I wonder if people feel the same
That they have to read these things so petty
At their could be idols cost
And is every one of us hacks to blame

Not really, it's a hypothetical shame

I was a princes
You were my knight in shining armour
trying regain his honour
and saving the queen from the usurper

I used to be so full of glee
I had a knight to fight my battles for me
But I couldn't see
That your monsters were much more beastly
Some times I look back and ask my self why
But the mere thought that makes me cry

The was a time where our kingdom was at peace
But it soon it sounded like you were always fighting a beast
Eventually it seemed like some one slashed your heart
If only I knew this was only the start
You had a Queen you couldn't appease
And soon the kingdom was torn apart

I used to believe you when you said things would be ok
You were so strong and protected me from dismay
If only I knew it would only be the start
You were gone in a day
It completely tore my heart apart

Now I am no ones little princes any more
I have no knight to fight my war
The future doesn't seem as bright as it used to be
And they say I am becoming a women which ******* scares me

I will always cherish the times I spent with you
But to survive I think there is only one thing to do
To survive I must learn from your might
I must be strong and become my own knight

Is it really a plague?
Just to be a ***
For them to get peoples pointless destain
When the bible is so Vague

Believe in what you want
But before you taunt
Remember every sin is the same
So you have nothing over them to flaunt

Why does every thing have to feel so hopeless
Even though I have passion and am ferocious
I am still held back from the dread;
Of this devastating psychosis

I am left stuck up in my head
Thinking about all the things that need to be said
But I still feel that coldness;
Wishing I was dead

I feel so boneless
I wonder if any one would even notice
All these feelings I wish I could shed;
So my heart doesn't feel so soulless

I wonder if I have bin miss lead
I wonder if in the end I will be whole or just a shred
But I think my only prognosis;
Is this feeling will soon spread
And things will really become hopeless

Oh ****
I'm out of luck
This really *****
I am stuck
how did I get here?
In my own muck

I am held down by locks
But my mind is still sharp as a fox
But I think instead I'll rub my *****
To get off my Rocks
And then wonder if I am queer?
Because I like the look of my own stocks

Now all there is left to do is cry
And wonder that this is what I do instead of try
While I am asking why
Even though I got here with my lies
I wonder if any one will hear?
My rattle as I die

How do I get on the front page?
Do I show them my rhymes
Or talk about my crimes
Or do I try and fill their hearts with rage

What is it that I lack?
Do I show that beneath this raging desire;
To set their souls on fire
I am really just a hack

Have I become lost?
I want to bring people near
And show them I am here
But really at what cost?

Am I here alone?
I write out my groans
Into filthy little poems
And take comfort they wont be shown

So this is my life
I am... here
Not much left to be feared
Not much flesh left to be seared

A mind full of depression and hate
A body for all that to presentate
And to take also take any thing life has to reciprocate

But I still learned nothing from what people in my life demonstrated
And yet I am still devastated
If I knew life was tainted then why am I so degraded
So frustrated
So mutilated
So... Lost

I could give it a retry but why
I could say good bye but why try
I could die but why try and say good bye when they wont even let you die

And so I am here
To dead inside to shed a tear
With allot more of life I have to endure
And the only thing I have to find a cure
Is what is here

The Moon in the sky
Is for every one to see
To call it yours is a lie
Because it only speaks to me

It pulls on my soul
It whispers in my ear
It makes me whole
It makes me listen even when I don't want to hear

Savageness in my thoughts
Sadness in my Heart
Sanity rots
Soulful inspiration to create my art

I wish it would end
It is relentless in its pulling
It twists me and I cant defend
But I will never stop looking

Her looks were perfect and left with me with nothing to say
Like the feeling of being melted on a hot summers day
Her voice and words were as soft as a breeze
But she could run cold and make my heart freeze

I couldn't help but think about her every single day
And when we were apart I couldn't stand to be away
Finally one day I was able to tell her my love for her was like a flame
And I couldn't have bin more joyed when she told me she felt the same

Soon we were together every day and night
Holding each other in embrace and holding each other tight
But over time she started to leave me out of sight
I started to feel like things were no longer all right

Finally I grew the courage because some thing was wrong and I had to know why?
She looked me coldly in the eyes and told me "there was another guy"
My heart was destroyed, my feelings weren't there to play
She looked me coldly in the eyes and this is what she had to say

"Do you think you are special, do you think you are alone
Heart break is a feeling that every one will have known
You are not the first and you wont be the last
I have done it to you like some one has done it to me in the past"

What a cold hearted *****, what horrible words to say
But soon I had a new girl to make me feel ok
Sadly my jaded heart wandered and I made that poor girl see
That I broke her heart just like it happened to me

I feel my wheels turning
I feel my heart on fire
But why am I still waiting
For events to transpire

I'm torn between my spirit
My need to be a machine
I have so much passion I can feel it
But it is still left unseen

What am I missing
Why can't I crack the code
I hear my self hissing
Why wont I just explode

Maybe I should just rest
And let my passion go
Maybe I should stop being compressed
And just let my spirit flow