I am a prisoner
To my thoughts
That run through my head
At my worst moments
I am a prisoner
To the way i feel
To the panic
To the fear
I am a prisoner
To the plaster walls
That surround me
That i call "home"
I am a prisoner
To this earth
And the people
i love on it
I am a prisoner
A bird that wants to fly
A girl that needs to cry
A human with a huge heart
That she is prisoner to.

Maybe the reason
I could not make myself
Leave bed
Is less because i didnt sleep
And more because of the fact
That i dread going home
Because home is not
The walls and doors that confine me,
Home is him.
Home is the way he smells, the way he looks at me
Home is laying on his chest
Feeling his heartbeat, each of his breaths
Home is his skin against mine
Home is his smile, lips, eyes, face.
Home is not just plaster walls that hold me in, keep me warm.
Home is wherever he is.

Anxiety
Its a weight on my chest
Something too heavy to be moved.
Its death,
Drowning without water
But who reaches a hand to help?
Who bothers to see, tries to hear?
I can't knock on a door,
Or ask for extra napkins
I cant raise my hand in class
For fear of being wrong
Its living everyday
In fear of mistake
Not breathing

Its 3:00am

And I'm still wide awake

With the yearning

For your skin

Beneath my fingertips