**** this stupid game.
It's always the same.
We don't talk for a month or so, come back, and it's like you never left,
like you never changed.
You think I don't notice but I do.
I think about you every single day, religiously.
And I'm left wondering why it is you called in the first place.
Because you could just forget about me, leave me to live my own life
You could just let me forget about you, eventually I could, if I tried.
Instead you let me believe I've moved on from you and then suddenly
You.
You call.
Again.
I hear your voice.
It's like a signal
A signal to my heartstrings
Wait! don't let him go! they scream at me.
Please, he needs you! they plead with me.
I listen, because how can I ignore a cry for help?
I fall right back to where I was
I land on my face.
Who cares? Not you, not me.
****.
I love you, but you don't love me.
You should have just left me alone because now I'm back and this whole thing is just
****.
Here we go again.
This emotional coaster you've put me on
were you planning on letting me off?
Ever?

I like you,
and I'm sorry,
but it's true;
so maybe we should jus forget about each other.
you wanna play around, and that's cool!
I ain't got a problem with a man who knows what he wants too.
I want to have fun but with you I feel like I could fall;
and that's the problem!
to have fun I shouldn't even like you at all!
It's way too complicated
it's way too hard
I've been down that road, and I can't do it again.
Not with you,
one more person I could lose.
and all because I can't control my heart,
all because when I looked at you
I knew, I just knew.
being away from you *****!
I feel like I need distractions to keep myself from talking to you.
maybe it's a cute guy who shows me interest
and we talk;
or maybe it's a guy with a girl and I can't help but make him go for a shot.
I mean who am I to convince him to come after me?
Just another ****.
Just another tease.
But lemme jus tell you, that it's all because I am tryna keep myself away from you.
From your smile
From your lips
From the way you touch my hips
God!
Do you have any idea what you do to me?
No.
I really don't think that you do.
I can't control how I feel, even though I'm trying.
It's almost like I'm tryna keep someone from dying.
I really would love if you could feel it too.
It would make things easier, and make me feel less blue.
That first kiss was the moment everything changed.
It's not that serious, I said, but it sure as hell is not the same.
Tried to play it off like it was just a game.
Tried to save myself from inner despair.
I don't want to have feelings, I just don't want to care.
I've become someone else, someone I never thought I'd be.
Yet you're the only one I really care who sees.
I'm hiding behind a wall because I'm so afraid to fall,
and at the same time I feel I've done nothing to prevent it at all.
I'm slowly letting down my guard, and with you,
it isn't that hard.
I should just leave you be, and let you forget about me.