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EmmaJoiner Oct 2023
The thoughts
They come
They destroy
And then your done
Capture all your feelings
Crush all your believings
You try to take control
But they just can’t go away no more
Years of fear
Years of worries
Years of praying to the heavens
But they don’t leave
They are here with me
And not letting myself to be
Who I wanna be
They just come and explode
Make me wanna hit the road
Go far
All alone
Take a hike
Turn of my phone
But they won’t leave me alone
It’s there
Why the **** do I care!!
(I’m in control!)
No you’re not!
(This is my spot!)
No it ain’t !
And than I paint
All my thoughts
I’m going crazy
It’s too much
I’m going crazy
They are torture
Make my life more slower
They ******* take up time
They are ruthless, never rhyme
Make a hole
A deep dark hole
Where I can’t fall in no more
I climbed out years ago it’s pulling me back
And the fears in there, they wreck happiness
They choke me
They tear my mind apart they mock me!
(You ain’t strong!)
Yes I am!
(You can’t succeed!)
Yes I can
I can just run away from all this *******
But  it’s running after me, never seams to quit
It wants to be the king
It wants to be the ruler
And as the days go by
It gets crueler and crueler
(Worry *****! Be afraid that keeps you alive!)
No it ain’t that’s what makes me die!
(It is a part of you!)
No it’s not
You behave like you have a ******* spot
But you ain’t
You trying to take control
I won’t let you
It seams like a 1000 years ago since I met you
This toxic relationship has been to long
Now that’s it I have to be strong!
(No you’re weak!)
Let me speak!
( I have a louder voice you coward freak!)
No you ain’t !
I'm in control, you just wait!
This is a very personal one, to all the people out there who live with OCD, you are not alone and you are in control! Don't forget.
601 · Oct 2023
Far from you
EmmaJoiner Oct 2023
It’s pushing me, pushing me off a cliff
Holding stuff back like this
It’s  pushing me, pushing me far from you
But still I fold my heart in two
I give it to you
You don’t have time to nurture it, take care of it, cradle it
I still just wait
Patience is a killer
Each day I get slimmer and slimmer
Shaking, being afraid, scared
Wish I knew that you cared
Fought the fight
That might
Save us.
EmmaJoiner Jul 2021
May come winter, may come fall
May the spring or summer call
May the river flood or dry
may the bluebird sing or cry.

May the rover find it's way
May the hunter shoot it's prey
May the sinner tell no lies
May the bluebird sing or cry.

May the mountains be as steep
May the valleys be so deep
May the ocean meet the tide
May the bluebird sing or cry.

May the poor have no pain
May the wealthy be unvain
May the common just get by
May the bluebird sing or cry.

May the stars shine as bright
May the dark not give a fright
May a comet cross the sky
May the bluebird sing or cry.

May the wind be just a breeze
May the fieldcrops never freeze
May the trees grow so high
May the bluebird sing or cry.

Come what else or come what may
I will still know everyday
May the bluebird sing or cry
My love for you will never die.
105 · Feb 2020
Words
EmmaJoiner Feb 2020
All or Nothing
Something or someone
Love or loss
These words define us
Wake us up in the Morning or put us down at the evening
They shake us or break us
They have impact
They do infact are just words
So ... Who knows?
101 · Nov 2020
Many things
EmmaJoiner Nov 2020
Love is many things
Hope is what it brings
And joy and laughter
Can make you smile a lot faster
Love is loyal and never bitter
Love is a dream, a bit even bigger
It is shared kisses and time
Cures the heart, makes it shine
Love never lies nor deceives
Love is whom in another person believes
Love is safe and it is true
For me love is all that is you
98 · Feb 2020
make me
EmmaJoiner Feb 2020
You have broke my heart, my very beeing by making me feeling something
And making me beliving anything
everything
that is possible,
movie love that doesnt last
Not at all
its just a word thrown back and forth
if you love me
dont tell me
just make me feel it
Make me make me wanna feel it
I dont want to fear it
not anymore
im sure im ready
90 · Jul 2021
a bit of a ThRiLL
EmmaJoiner Jul 2021
A soft touch can be a bit of a thrill
A look with fiery eyes, like a predator that's ready to ****
A strong bite there, a strong bite here
And the screams of pleasure is all that you hear.

A bit of a thrill can be a wild ride
Rocking side to side till the boat hits the tide
A thunder here, a thunder there
Out in the open sea the boat doesn't care.

A wild ride can be a bit of passion
Excitement, heat, some kind of obsession
A kiss there, a kiss here
It is so much more as it may appear.

A bit of passion can be a lot of love
Love that flies high, that soars above
But besides this love, still
A soft touch can be a bit of a thrill.
89 · Oct 2020
Morning
EmmaJoiner Oct 2020
I open my eyes when I wake
And the first moment I take
I think of my darling
I think of his charming face
I imagine that we are in one place
We hold hands and stare in each other’s eyes
And feel the sun rise
The moment is perfect
It’s priceless
Than brightness fills the room
And we assume
It’s time to get up
But we stay
We lay there still
Exchange a kiss
Wishing every morning was like this
88 · Mar 2020
oNe CoLd ThOuGhT
EmmaJoiner Mar 2020
Sailing in the sea, breeze in my hair, sun is shining
Why should I care?
About anything else - but myself.
The wind , the ocean, the belief
The sweet relief that I'm feeling, now...
Without you
Because all you ever do is chase,
But never catch.
That't the only best thing about beeing out in the open sea,
Where I can only see, the water, the sun, the sky
And maybe a dream to remember you by,
But I chase it away
Cause why should it stay?
You're not here.
I'm alone.
The ocean's cold - and if I'm bold,
I jump in, maybe drown,
And on my way down,
I'll meet you halfway...
#love
#loss
#ocean
#sailing
82 · Feb 2020
Illusion
EmmaJoiner Feb 2020
I can’t  touch you
I can’t feel
I can’t kiss you
I wish it was real
You and me
I wish it was no fiction
No addiction
Because I have another but I still desire you
And only you
I don’t know what to do
What to say
How to make a move
I wanna prove that it’s me you really want
And this feeling will haunt me until I am yours and you are mine
That is when I will be finally fine
#regret
#love
#loss
82 · Sep 2020
Feeling a bit head over
EmmaJoiner Sep 2020
I love your soul
Your heart even more
You’re my treasure
My weakness
I could never love you less
78 · Sep 2020
All the little things
EmmaJoiner Sep 2020
‪You kiss my lips
you bite my nose
you squeeze my hips
you rip my clothes
you graize my thigh
this goes on for a while
I Hope forever my love‬
73 · Jan 2020
~Something dangerous~
EmmaJoiner Jan 2020
Love is like poison,
As you drink it and try to move on
It chokes you, makes you wanna die
So you can feel nothing for awhile.
It runs through your veins, it weakens your system
And meanwhile all you can think about is how much you want to kiss them...
Its toxic
Its dangerous,
Its like heavy rain.
Time flies by, but the scars remain.
73 · Jan 2020
~Freedom~
EmmaJoiner Jan 2020
As I look out the window
I see a shadow
Its me.
Only free
And not as dark as my feelings
I look around and i see these beings
Maybe ghosts or demons
Who knows?
They are better than me
Cause they are free.

— The End —