If you love me
find a way to let me know
but should you find that you can't,  
Please find it in yourself to let me go

Letting you go is made easier in knowing you're not the same person I let in

professor told me the chemicals and minerals in this paint could leach toxins into my skin if I let it stay on the surface there
but the way I see it I've picked my poison
either it's paint on my skin or you on my mind

What if I told you, that I am not like the others?
What if I told you, I have no love for myself, and no love for another?
What if I told you about what I hide under my sleeves?
What if I told you I wanted to permanately leave?
What if I told you that my anxiety was going through the roof?
would you believe me, or would you ask for proof?
would you judge, would you care?
do you have your own secrets you would like to share?
Would you help me, would you cry
if one day I said goodbye?
are you listening?  
are you here?
Now that you know, I don't live in fear..

I wish I didn't know you
but it hurts too much when I don't
forever lost in this paradox
you keep slipping and making me watch
because I could never help you
you are too far gone

circling the same questions in my mind
not being able to answer just how we got here
thinking about you makes me sick
especially knowing how much time I have spent
waiting, understanding, giving you chances
it should have killed me

I may have lost all reasoning as to why I exist.