It took me seven years
to realise
the words in my mind
were too deep for
my mouth to dig up
I thought it was easier
to open my skin
and let the truth
pour down my arms

It took me seven years
to realise
nobody should be allowed
to touch parts
of your home
or hold pieces  
of your heart
that you don't yet understand

It took me seven years
to realise
I will wear these scars
forever
I'll carry them
through every smile
every kiss
every concerned gaze
I'll carry them
to my grave

It took me seven years
to realise
the pain carved
into the walls
of my castle
etchings of
attempting to disappear
are not a story of weakness
but a tale of
how I survived

At night,
I would disappear
As the sky wept
And the moon hid its
bright surface
Darkening my eyes

How did I love you?
In case you didn't know
I loved you in such a way
Would collect all the fireflies in a jar
Outshine the stars in the skies
Just to see your beautiful eyes

If this were a movie
The sky would be painted grey
I'd run outside, my bare feet splashing rainwater
I'd chase her, screaming for her to stop
I'd pull her into my arms
Tell her I'm sorry, my tears mixing with rainwater
We'd hug in the downpour
She would love me again
But this was no movie
And she is gone

I would ****** my arm
Above the water's edge
If only I could be certain
That you would save me.