Wait!

Wait!

Wait just one more,
Minute you don't have,
To understand yourself,
Takes far too much,
Effort you can't give,
It isn't worth it.

Stop!

Stop!

Stop and understand the,
Dark that comforts you,
Cannot keep you safer than,
Light you hate,
For it always leads to,
Revealing too much.

Please!

Please!

Please listen to,
A pointless voice,
Calling to you from somewhere,
Far away from here,
Where light doesn't burn,
Your frail skin.

No!

No!

No more life to lose,
When your whole existence is doomed,
To drown in it's own blood,
Despite the desperate cries,
Of dead and dying,
To stay away.

Even they reject you.

You are my personal taste of sorbet, sun-tan lotion, botched
slices of the sun that sit on my tongue like pills
before I swallow. I hate necessity, and crave your entity
in ice cream scoop sizes. I want to pull the batteries out of your back,
**** the juice onto my palette and spit it back into your eyes
so maybe you can feel the sting you left me with when you pushed
my heart off the side of the bed while pulling your pelvis closer to my head.
I hate when we’re cooking and you slide ice cubes down my shirt,
but did you know that’s the only time I ever felt anything
from you that wasn’t warm and bitter and bruised? I think
that sometimes your nightmares even scare me.
I can feel them when you sleep,
your arm flinching beneath my neck, how you curl
your toes against my calves and grind your teeth like you’re trying to fit
your square memories into the oval-shaped hole of my spine.
I get that that’s why you’re a little crooked, but you used me
to straighten yourself like the post a tomato plant wraps its stem around.
You took all the nutrients from my center and fed yourself.
You are the palm tree in my snow globe, but no matter
many times I shake you
the snow still falls on my shoulders.

I understand your frustration
With my lack of motivation
And my repetitive procrastination
But you need to realize
I'm only doing what I need to
To survive
Music and books
Keep me alive
Therefore
if you wish to see me
Tomorrow morn
Please leave me be

I hate love and how it is so deceiving
It lures you in with a promise that this will be just like the movies
Giving us an image in our minds
This will be something so sweet
But instead it just cuts the roof of your mouth
And leaves a bitter aftertaste on your tongue

Steps to taking the easy way out

1. Take the bullets out of the gun. Leaving your family is harder than one thinks.

2. Love your self. For some days the hate will have ****** dammed into your sub conscious, convincing you of your futile existence.

3. When hanging yourself, forget how to tie knots. Loosen your pain. Use the rope to anchor yourself, stand your ground.

4. Repeat steps 1-3. These situations will occur again. Don't be afraid to memorize your worth.

5. Keep the medicine cabinet closed. There are demons behind those double doors that want to dissect you.

6. Breathe.

7. Stop running. This isn't a marathon.

8. Take the bullets back out of the gun, you are not in season and so refuse target practice.

9. Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat step 9 until enlightenment occurs.

Our
                        Whole
                         Lives
                         Are made
                         Of blades.
                         We couldn't
                        Live without
                        Them. It's the
                        Sharpened steel
                        Doctors us to bring
                        Us into our life.
                        It's the cool metal
                        That cuts the
                        Wood to build
                        Our homes.
                        We taunt with
blades keeping such deadly weapons in our homes. To cut our food, and groom our faces. But the greatest irony      
                 comes from life itself,
                for the very blades we
                     Use to protect and
                       Keep our life,
                     Turned around
                     Destroy our very
                     Being and cause
                    Our lives to bleed
                 From the fatal wound
                      Making the end  
           Harmonize with the beginning