Hey its me again
I just need to vent
Its time my mind got right
So I can breath again
But things begin
To take a toll
And sometimes you can feel so small
That it crushes you
Punches you in the gut
Followed with a uppercut
Like what the ****?
Can I get a break?
Can I get some time to recuperate?
I guess this is life
These ups and downs
The smiles and frowns

Your never grow old, you just gain experience.

It’s exhausting
Feeling like you don’t care
Your ripping the air
Right out my lungs
I can’t breathe
I’m suffocating
All this ******* pain
Is driving me insane
So I have to let you go
I can’t give you anymore

I swear I ******* hate your guts and I hate the way this feels
I wish you could listen to what I'm saying
instead you cause all this rage and sadness
And it is not what I pictured for us, not what I imagined
I thought giving you a beautiful little girl
would soften you up but all it made me
realize is that you just don't give a ****.

Im sorry that I cant comprehend your sorrow
and how mine seems like nothing to you
and its ok because I cant expect you to think of me
in a time like this,
but Ive shown you that I care,
Ive tired so hard to show you that Im there,
you went from calling me frequently
to now hardly taking time to speak to me,
I dont know what to think
if your futher because of your depression
and maybe this is the reason for your regression;
I tired to decipher thinking "He's just busy"
and "He's just down",
my mind is getting dizzy;
I tell you I miss you,
That I just wanna see and kiss you,
and you say your busy and have no time
although Ive given you so much of mine,
and then I see you make time for your friends
so I guess it just depends
on who you make important.
You confuse me with the attention on some days
and the rejection most days
I dont thinks it fair
and I cant tell you because Im so selfless
that I dont wanna seem selfish,
but its hurting me
because every man has made me feel last on there list
and I cant even tell you this;
So all I can do is keep a piece of my heart protected
keep it from getting affected,
because now Im really feeling Im just irrelevant to you
and although that might me true
Ill still be here for you
when you feel blue
but I have to take care of myself
because one has to value oneself;
Im beautiful and smart
with a tremendous heart
and maybe things will change
and you'll see the woman thats here
is real
but yet again maybe you wont
and its ok Im use to it
maybe Im not meant to be loved
to be hugged
to  be shown for once Im held high above
so Ill just kept loving myself
because one thing Ive learned is that no one with love me
like I love me
and Ill have to learn to never put someone above me....

And so the story goes of how a ***** got so cold,
and as in ***** I mean me,
yes Im a she;
I dont give a **** if you dont like my linguistics,
but anyway let me get back to the real ****;
As I was saying of how I got so cold,
you know how it goes,
how when stupid **** keeps repeating itself it gets ******* old;
**** being cold,
its now to the point my heart is getting old;
Nah scratch its getting old, its ******* dead,
it ******* dried up and disintegrated, no love to be felt or said;
Its no longer doable like calculus,
its gonna take a ******* alchemist
to revive something that is lost, never to come back again;
Any hope I had left is done,
in place of my heart now lies a gun
ready to shoot any *******
whos trying to play me for a sucker;
I refuse to suffer
so instead I just became rougher, tougher,
immune to all these ******* bluffers;
I dont believe **** none of ya say,
I cannot be dismayed
anymore
So please dont look at my love as something to implore;
Its ******* mine,
until the day that I die...
-E.G

Remember that guy,
Yea the one who I said made me feel all this love inside;
Well he ******* lied,
He played with my mind,
I should of known after seeing several bad signs;
Never did I ever think he would or could do that to me,
He ******* cheating on me,
He thought I wouldn't see;
I'm too smart to not have found out,
He thought I would believe his words without a doubt?
Nah my intuition
is far beyond his cognition;
So I got up and did better,
To not value me is something I won't except, never;
So **** his love,
**** all those fake hugs;
They mean nothing now,
What he did to me was ******* foul;
I have no losses,
because in this situation I was faultless;
I just hope I'm not having his baby,
Because to have two ******* pregnant now that ***** crazy;
It's too bad
he lost the best life he could of had;
As for me I'm unbreakable,
And he's now erasable.
-E.G