but not alone again.
alone when?
whenever I chose.
I maintained the prose
of lonely men.
I threw my woes at
selfish friends
but oh, to hold
that bad blood in.
outside, pretend,
then inside, again?
insufferable
immense
inner turmoil commence
post-armageddon I make
inner amends
what floods I've ridden
what waters I spin
what swirling singularity
like a drain
pulls me in?
I swim now
in oceans
much larger than those
the blows I have known
have softened the glow
I sit in repose
the universe knows
everything -
it's slowly spinning as we
quietly sing
and I conjure the means
to re-see everything.

I feel safest wrapped in
Darkness
Solitary,
Voluntarily.
Shut my eyes and experience the
    Colors,
       Under covers,
Fast asleep.
(I never asked you to be next to me.
I never told you that I couldn't feel.)

       And I feel strangest
In the daylight
In the sunshine or the shade I am
   Opened like a book
For leafing through.
My ink melts and leaks
Off pages
Until
Descension,
  Depths of ages
Passed and to come.
   Again I am one.
(I never asked you to
Let me in)
Cloak of blackness
Masks malpractice
Sets me free.
Solidity,
   Shattered as the sun

Beats me awake and I am
      Shaken,
      Naked,
Young, Dumb, Prepared to Fake it
Let me be.

Oh, What a View!
      from this hazy morning hue,

Familiar faces        interlacing
    back-trip Flashes
Heart is Racing

In my brain &
  through my veins
i still feel the
                       ACID STAIN

Recollections of
Reckless Havoc,
Wreaked when I was
Trapped in Magic

man
  last night
                                           who was i ?

  right now i'm fading from my sight

I am here while i am There
and I have yet to    Find my Mind .

My mind
my poor mind
is swimming with thoughts
Swelling with oceans of heartaches forgot
Waves of regret rise and break on my shores
But in search of that bliss
I dive back in for more.
I rock
And I tumble
All alone in my head
Contemplate if I've known
what it's like to be dead
I've been numb as a ghost,
I've been colder than ice
yet my heart beats on still in its pale morning light
As dawn breaks on my waters,
what the waves whisper of
is whether or not
i have known how to love.