Humans are scary creatures.
The way we look at one another.
The judgements.
The assumptions.
The hidden motives in our actions.

Sometimes it's easier to just be alone.
But this is looked upon as a flaw in our behavior.

Anti-socialism is so widely misunderstood.
If you cannot function in group settings peacefully,
You must be some sort of freak.

Or maybe this black sheep would just rather avoid the distruction our species seems to create.

It's safer to just be by yourself.

I have never been without it
The scent of regret surrounds me
Every mistake I ever made
Is the stench that so confounds me

Soaring heights of anxiety
I have never been without it
Not your garden variety
Plaguing much of society

How I long to be free of it
Unrelenting regret believed
I have never been without it
Dry heaving nightmares unrelieved

Trichinosis, lockjaw strangles
My regret knows all about it
Like Joe Btfsplk’s* cloud dangles
I have never been without it

The only part of my day
That I look forward to
Is when I go to bed
And lay there making up scenarios
In my head.

I think of comebacks
To 8th grade bullies.
I think of witty retorts
To my mother's snide comments.
I think of intelligent things to add
To conversations I had months ago.

I think of all the things
I was too scared to say.

And in my mind
I say them.
And pretend how things would be different
If only I had the courage to speak.