What if I fell in love
With a broken down *******
Not because I needed to fix him
But simply because I wanted to revel in his beauty
The maddening craziness
Of a life
A life that didn't need to be maintained with perfection
A life where you could just knock down pillars that you didn't need
Destroy friendships that weren't beneficial
A life where one could disown one's own mother
Without the whole neighbourhood offering their tut-tuts
And their 5 cents too many
About how to trim your garden
What if I fell in love with a life
Who let their weeds grow
And created a garden out of thorns
A **** patch that would make those neighbours shriek
What if I fell in love with chaos and disorder
Not to right the tables
Nor to order the shelves
What if I didn't attempt to prune the garden
But I let it grow into a forest
And then laughed when I stepped on a thorn
What if I let the sun shine through the madness
What if I opened my arms to the destruction
What if you sung me a lullaby out of tune
And I asked you to sing it anyways…

small cheap rooms where you walk
down the hall to the
bathroom can seem romantic to
a young writer.
even the rejection slips are
amusing because you are sure that
you are
one of the best.

but while sitting there
looking across the room
at the portable typer
waiting for you on the table
you are really
in a sense
insane

as you wait for
one more night to arrive to sit and
type Immortal Words--but now you
just sit and think about it
on your first afternoon in a strange city.

looking over at the door you
almost
expect a beautiful woman to walk in.

being young
helps get you through
many senseless and terrible
days.

being old
does
too.

Dance the night away with me.
Let the forever memories be my hope.
Never forgetting who was always there.

I am a prisoner who is scarred in the inside and out, a man who can't forget and never be forgiven.
These chains are unbreakable, but worth keeping on.
The scars are my own fault, but I love them.
The chains are my memories and the scars are my  experiences.

Why are you sad?
Because the cycle of pain never ends for me.
The pain of today can be your motivation for tomorrow.
I guess so.
Well I know so.
But have you seen me?
I see what you cannot.
Like what?
That is what you should be asking yourself.
Why talk to myself?
Because it takes insane to hold sane. Now can you hand me my cane?
You can't walk without it?
I can't see without it.