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Alexis 3d
I don’t remember the moment I stopped feeling safe.  
Maybe it was when I saw my mother’s tears  
And realized love could be cruel.  
Maybe it was when I learned to run,  
To hide in silence,  
To hold my breath until the storm passed.  
But I was just a kid,  
And love wasn’t meant to be this way.

I remember finding things I didn’t understand…
Images that twisted my thoughts,  
Made me question what it all meant.  
I was maybe 10,
But I wasn’t a child anymore,  
Not after that.

Then came the quiet,  
A new home with grandma,  
Where the chaos slowed,  
And the world felt a little softer.  
Years later you moved in across the street,  
And suddenly, I wasn’t alone.  
We stayed up late,  
Talking like we could create a new life,  
A different world where love didn’t hurt.

I gave you all the parts of me  
That no one else could see,  
Believing in the illusion  
That you could be the one to save me.  
You made me feel safe,  
For a while.  
You were my first true love,
My safe haven,
And I dove in without looking back.

But you were a storm too.  
You left- then came back,  
And I let you, Every time.  
Chasing the feeling of being wanted,  
Of being enough.  
I let you break me  
And still, I waited for you to come back whole.  But you didn’t.

You moved on,  
Married, had kids,  
And I was still stuck in the memories,  
In the dream we never got to live.  
Then the call came,  
And my world stopped.  
You tried to end your life,  
I thought I could save you if I had enough time,
That I could bring you back from the edge.  
But they took you off life support…
And you were gone.  
And I was left,  
Empty,  
With a heart full of things I never said.

It’s been years now,  
And I’ve built a life,  
Found love in places I never expected,  
But your absence still lingers.  
Your face fades,
but your memory doesn’t,  
And I still miss you,  
In ways I can’t explain.  
I forgive you,  
For all the hurt,  
For leaving me broken,  
But I’ll never forget you,  
Not ever.
Jan 15 · 1.3k
A Melody of Him
Alexis Jan 15
I fell for him, not in whispers or sighs,
But in crescendos, in rhythms, in skies
Painted with notes that danced in the air,
Each song a thread of the love we’d share.

He wasn’t just music—he was the sound,
The hum of the earth, the pulse underground.
A genre, a chord, a tune soft and true,
Would echo his soul, would carry his hue.

But now he is gone, and silence remains,
A hollow refrain, a ghost in the strains.
Yet when music plays, I’m drawn to the year,
I search for a sign he might have been near.

Did he hum this tune? Did he hear this beat?
Did it brush his soul? Was it his retreat?
The thought is a comfort, though bittersweet,
A harmony bridging where life and death meet.

For love like this does not fade away,
It lingers in songs, in chords that replay.
So I listen, I wonder, I dream him alive,
Through melodies where his spirit survives
May 2024 · 455
My life
Alexis May 2024
It goes back to the first wrong turn,
Looking up and down a street to learn,
No father clone, just one brother tight,
Here my mamas cries in the darkness of night.
she tried so hard to give us a better life,
instead ending with strife..

Some Nick guy stole my youth from me,
never did said sorry for sexually molesting me.
I held it inside, never told no one.
The child had died and the man begun.

Made me confused at such a young age
Stepped into the game of life at such an early stage,
My soul was lost, I was full of rage…
So let me turn the page..

Never could ever trust no one
Because of that I never truly had any fun.
Jealousy and envy towards everyone ,
I was a shadow
While the world was the sun.

Always wanted to just fit in,
Came up short from beginning to end.
So much hurt from the soul within,
Let me turn the page again..

I’d spend so many hours chasing the moon around,
Late at night inside my very small town.
That’s when trouble was found and I was on my way;
Juvi bound.

Trapped in a cell at the age of thirteen,
My nightmares began, vacant of dreams.
Wanting to live but surrounded by hate..
Fist fights over food, bloodshed for plates….




(My dad never finished this poem.. he committed suicide and I’m here to share his work, spread awareness on ****** assault as the damage it can do is unforgivable)
-Jason Alex Wood
04/02/1987-10/04/2022
May 2024 · 455
11:11
Alexis May 2024
I used to put my faith into these numbers.
Wishing, hoping and dreaming that time could define
A perfect life with you….
and still
It doesn’t make sense to look back,
and think that 11:11 was just that.
“Make a wish” in text, sent every night,
Not a superstition and more than a time.
It was my way of saying that I truly love you,
and our dreams and our hopes will grow to be true.


I 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 to have faith
Alexis May 2024
The truth in the light,
True colors in sight,
Choose words so wise in a Friday night fight,

Our future was bright,
But so dark tonight.

As I hold tight in another Friday night fight.

-JMFGP
Apr 2024 · 434
HOME
Alexis Apr 2024
𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯,
𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘥.

𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘳𝘣𝘪𝘵,
𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘷𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘴.

  𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱, 𝘪𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦.
𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘐’𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬
𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥.
Apr 2024 · 445
Untitled
Alexis Apr 2024
If you loved me,
As much as I loved you,
You wouldn't have felt so alone.


If only our love story was different and if you would’ve ended up with me



you’d still be alive
and I’d be set free
Apr 2024 · 447
Blind
Alexis Apr 2024
You will never change your ways,
You won’t ever get to see,
How I would’ve been so good to you,
If you would’ve chosen me.
Aug 2020 · 169
Untitled
Alexis Aug 2020
Black out.
Rock back, rock forth,
Tremble in terror,
Replay, replay,
inside screams,
Warm raindrops on flesh
Jul 2019 · 219
Conner
Alexis Jul 2019
I adore every breath you take. I am in love with every sound that escapes the soft curves of your lips as i kiss that spot between your jaw and neck. I melt when your hands touch my skin, dilly dallying across every inch of my body, because you take your time, nothing but pure love cultivating itself deep within my heart. I love going to sleep next to you and listening to you mumble about things that make no sense. I don’t think I can get enough of the way your voice sounds in the morning when sleep is still lingering in your throat and you look at me with heavy eyes. I love how I fall more in love writing about it.

I
Love
You
Jun 2019 · 506
Jacob Pence
Alexis Jun 2019
Mixed up priorities

And the wrong things keep mattering
Rest In Peace JP
Jan 2019 · 200
Jordan
Alexis Jan 2019
Do you even realize I've stopped sharing my secrets with you?
or are you so caught up in sharing your own.
Did you notice me shutting you out?
I'm shutting you out because I don't know how to tell you.
I don't love you like you deserve and I feel shallow to think you are only sharing your secrets with me because you think I do.
I don't. I'm sorry.
I don't deserve to know whats deep within your heart because I can't promise I'll do the same.
I wish i was stronger so I could tell you how I really feel,
but I am a coward and as soon as i get the chance I'll make you regret ever letting me in.
Jan 2019 · 188
Untitled
Alexis Jan 2019
I'm here, sitting in the dark corner of a coffee shop.
Every time the door opens the cold night breeze floods my essence
and gives me goosebumps,
symbolic of my current emotional state of mind; cold.
My eyelids fall heavy as I close my eyes for a quick daydream.
I can almost feel the faint warmth of his complexion as I am heavily buried in his chest
Tight arms securing me, relaxing me.
He leans in and I gently press against his rosy lips before the cold night breeze shakes me from my daze.
I can hear the barista.
Alexis Jan 2019
I did it
Its over with
You have left my body
and I'm so sorry that I did it
but understand
I had to.
for me.
for you both.
I love you whoever you would have been,
you changed me,
forever impacted my heart
whether you were boys
or girls
you were MY angels
now,
you're gods angels.
Jan 2019 · 131
Untitled
Alexis Jan 2019
Intoxication presents me with the deepest and realist thoughts.
Ones i wouldn't dare think or dream about sober
I am consumed with memories that will always be just that.
I hold them closest, in fear that they will disappear
but they only appear when I'm intoxicated
when the state of mind is dangerous and needy
Save me from these memories or **** me.
Oct 2018 · 190
Stuck
Alexis Oct 2018
No matter how hard you try to walk away
You will always stay
No matter how much you tell yourself you don’t care.
You always will.
No matter how many times he hurts you,
You forgive him.
May 2018 · 2.1k
F U C K
Alexis May 2018
I don’t find myself being happy,
My taste in men is rather lacking.
They’re like the whiskey in my mouth I taste when I’m hungover.
Feels good at the time but I’m always sorry when it’s over.
I don’t feel good enough in my current relationship,
The man I’m with .. makes me feel like a *******.
He doesn’t look at me the way he looks at other woman,
and he tells me clothes don’t do me justice and that I look better naked.
and the lies are too hard to ignore anymore,
When I have to fight for his attention and he treats me like I’m his chore.
He said he was on his way home to go to to bed, but he did me real *****,
he already told me earlier he got invited to go out drinking at 10:30,
But why would he lie?
Because the last time we went out drinking together he did things that really hurt me.
This relationship is toxic because I already knew what would happen after that lie.
He’d ignore all my texts and “forget to reply”
The way it works is he will apologize and feel bad the next day,
Because I’m such a nice girl and he sees his mistake,
But it’s not enough to say I forgive him or pretend it’s okay,
Hes breaking my trust every lie, each day.
I’ve tried so hard to get him to realize how much I care,
But he doesn’t seem to understand what he’s doing isn’t fair.
From the candlelit dinners to the mixed CDs and “Bang Me” valentines cake, i now realized were a waste of time and my own **** mistakes.
The nights I spent running my fingers through his hair ...which was he favorite thing
will just have to be memories that he’ll have to bear.


Because I’m not enough to get him to change,
It’s not enough to be me.
I haven’t any choice anymore
Hes forcing me to leave
Dec 2017 · 891
Skinny
Alexis Dec 2017
Before you eat that..
Take a look in a mirror
and tell me what you see.

I see One-Hundred fourty three pounds of fat
Staring back at me.
I haven’t even eat in two days,  
How can this be?
That I look bigger today
Than I looked last week ...

My tragic love life is filled with sadness and pain,
It could very well be explained by the amount that I weigh!
Before you eat again,
Take a look in the mirror and tell me this,
What amount of food means more than your bliss?
Nov 2017 · 266
Misery likes company
Alexis Nov 2017
Why waste more time?
No one needs to hear the truth.
Besides,
To be loved is all I want, all I need.
Today. Tomorrow. Forever..
Just lie to me please.
Tell me that you are going to be mine, that you’re wanting to stay,
because Darling I hate that I know
what happens when you’re away.
Nov 2017 · 228
Dreaming
Alexis Nov 2017
Oh,
how you have filled these empty voids of mine,
I can finally feel whole once more.
Perhaps I am never to feel so empty again!
.. I was silly to think for sure
Oct 2017 · 2.9k
One night stand
Alexis Oct 2017
I lay here
Naked and exposed.
But only for a night,
By morning he must go.
Make me feel beautiful,
I don’t care about tomorrow,
Kiss me, **** me, hold me
To forget all my sorrows.
Aug 2017 · 354
Untitled
Alexis Aug 2017
Every time my thoughts wonder to you,
I find it hard to breathe,
Perhaps a broken heart could mean it swells to large to be,
so instead..
it shatters into my lungs
Aug 2017 · 311
Fire & Desire
Alexis Aug 2017
The way your looking at me like that,
Smirking oh so ****.
Your fingers tracing their way up my dress,
Exactly where they need to be.
Resisting the urge to beg,
But my body's saying differently.
You can see how bad I want you in my eyes,
You lit a fire that could only be put out one way....
Aug 2017 · 734
Warning
Alexis Aug 2017
I'm the kind a girl that'll take hours to clean my room

and 15 minutes to destroy it

imagine what ill do to your heart
Aug 2017 · 332
Low Points
Alexis Aug 2017
Crying myself to sleep has become routine.
Warm, salty tears stream down my face more and more
while finding happiness is an endless journey when it comes down to what happiness even means to me.
I feel no purpose.
I feel no success in where I stand and I don't like my own reflection.
I am not sure how much longer I have before emptiness swallows me whole
and the taste of blood is bitter from biting my tongue for so long.
I am crying for myself,
For I am once, again, engulfed by darkness and can no longner stand on my bruised & beaten spirit.
I cannot lean on you,
I cannot lean on me because my worthless legs have given out from under me.
So,
I just let the warm salty tears fall on my open wounds in hope that one day they will heal.
Aug 2017 · 256
The Great Oblivion of Sleep
Alexis Aug 2017
It was a moment when time seemed to stand still.
Your hands on my waist,
My hands lightly touching your shoulders. The moment I looked into that smile,
the smile that was so sincere and genuine.
That's when I felt a great amount of loss.
I was lost, in that smile, in those eyes, in that perfect moment.. with you.
I wanted to get lost and you devoured my heart & soul every chance you could,
Because
I was devouring you just as much,
and I was wasted on how good it felt to get lost with you,
That...
    i forgot everything else.
7•20•16
Jul 2017 · 318
Denial
Alexis Jul 2017
The past will always be history, but I’ve neglected that my past is my history and denying its existence does not change the fact I lived it. For so long, I’ve been denying my past because I was afraid it was going to defy me but who I have pretended to be lately was everything I was denied in my past. By pretending to be something I’m not was denying me a future of happiness because I was denying who I was. I hid my flaws, and my faults, my struggle. I couldn’t love me because I didn’t know who I was, I am still learning who the person in the mirror is, but **** ill always be one of the realist people I know. Tonight I stop denying my past, so I can accept who I am. I can’t deny that person in the mirror anymore, I can’t deny my past.
Apr 2017 · 626
A girl is a girl is girl.
Alexis Apr 2017
A girl who knows her beauty
is an unstoppable force
As the one who holds her head high
can see other perspectives.

A girl who needs to fake a frown to persuade her audience of sadness
is an unstoppable force
As the one who is never truly depressed
Is truly happy.

A girl who is in love
is an unstoppable force
As the one who believes that love will conquer all,
will conquer all.

A girl who has a broken heart
is a stoppable force
As the one who is betrayed of her innocence,
becomes corrupt.

A girl who questions her beauty
is a stoppable force
As the one who begins to hang her head low
will never see her own reflection.

A girl who has to fake a smile to persuade her audience of happiness
is an unstoppable force
As the one who hides her darkness,
protects others.

&

A girl who feels alone
is both unstoppable and stoppable
As the one who dances alone in the dark,

is numb.

— The End —