a bell, twice, vacuum hiss
the elevator squeal
                                  should've known
                                  should've known
high heels
above
                                 moving away
laughter
bikes bumping
down the stairs
                                a bell, twice, vacuum hiss
                                the elevator squeal
can you help me
can you help me
                                banana and cinnamon cake
                                bed sheet lashing
kitchen closet bang
                                    leave me
                                    have me
a bell, twice, vacuum hiss
the elevator squeal
                                   a telephone calls
                                   insistently calls
a door slamming
                                   a bell, twice, vacuum hiss
                                   the elevator squeal
stay
help me
help me to die
                                    plastic bags
                                    groceries falling
                                    angry gross old voice
a bell, twice, vacuum hiss
the elevator squeal
                                      steps
                                      rustling in the hall way
a door opening 
                                      no one
                                      would you
a door closing
                                       water filling a bath tub
a bell, twice, vacuum hiss
the elevator squeal
                                        *******

It's that hour again,
guilt sets in
because I am
awake.

Insomnia seems to be my only ally
lately,
comforting me with her consistency
like an old lover.

I feel safe here in my lonely cocoon,
here in my head
here in my heart,
again.

This unexpected world is
of my own making,
that's a hard pill to
swallow.

Spent from wrestling demons
and
waiting for a silver lining,
endless hope
dying.

If someone knows the code
or can cut my cord,
would you please indulge me
kindly?

Tossing and turning
Counting the hours with the clock
Where are you, Morpheus?

Body shaking
Heart racing
Mind scattered
Feeling dizzy
Need help
Can't talk
Go away
Can't walk
Pass out
Why not cry a little too

Hello my name is anxiety

Anxiety
Controlling my everyday life
Anxiety
Taking my heart and throwing it against the wall
Anxiety
Wrapping around in my head to consume my thoughts
Anxiety
Crying and screaming against my throat
Anxiety
Crashing and thrashing its way into my body making me shudder
When theres a knock at the door
Anxiety
Lighting fires to my insides
Anxiety
Making my hands shake so someone will notice im unbalanced
Anxiety