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authentic Mar 2015
I cannot hear someone talk about love without thinking of a plane crash
The sudden moments of ecstasy and then the drawn out turbulence
In trying to decide which loved one is the one worth calling
Which memory will lace itself through your mind like a drug
Love does not care about your disposition, it does not care about the timing
Love comes when love feels it should, even when it is wrong
I have noticed that I love far too fast
Stare the beast in the face and
I break like a fever, like a bad habit, like a windshield
Under the sound of his roar
He does not care how loud I scream, it only screams back louder
Love does not care about my disinclined heart beat that races too fast for too many people
So when your friend introduces you to a boy, resist making a memory of his cologne
You do not need another memento of a love that may never be
Do not fool yourself into thinking that this is okay
You are not supposed to be at war
So why do you insist on putting yourself on the front line?
authentic Jan 2015
I have been looking for a taste like his
Searching for him in back seats of cars to boys who were not him
Testing out new flavors
Hoping that maybe tonight will be different
Stretching myself like a trampoline
Turning bone to dust
Because that is what you do when the curtain is falling, you say the line the audience wants to hear
You do things only to please
But changing the script was never what you intended
I never hoped for any of this
But this is what I am left it
And I sometimes wonder
Maybe you have been rewriting too
authentic Aug 2014
falling in love with your best friend
is one of the scariest, yet most lovely experiences
to be forever intertwined with the one who knows
everything about you
like mentos and diet coke
so exciting yet makes such a mess
and neither of us want to pick it up because we're too busy laughing
love is dangerous but with you
i love a little risk
authentic Mar 2016
I woke up on a Saturday morning and expected to feel somewhat refreshed
Saturday mornings have always been among those of my favorite, second to Sunday mornings
But as weeks continuously drag on I find I am not feeling as I would like to on these mornings
The bed being so cold seems to have more of an effect on me than I'd like to admit
I realize, that it is not that I miss you on Saturday mornings or Sunday morning
I miss you as soon as you are out of reach
Love is simultaneously the most cruelly selfish and wildly giving impulse we have and to be denied of it is something that sleeping in cannot fix, a disease incurable by coffee and cigarettes
I know heaven because I know what love is and I know hell because I know what love is
It is not a field of flowers but it is not a gun to your head
Love is something right in between, the most famous purgatory of them all, the end of your life as you once knew it, all memory of what you were before them has been erased, gentle, gone before you ever knew it was being taken from you
And it's funny because here I am overflowing with words I do not have about a love I do not own
But I imagine if I were to have your love it would be one to cherish
I think the first time I kiss you, I'll be smiling and
I think the first time I am graced with holding your hand a shiver will make its way up and down my spine
You are nothing ordinary, you are nothing common
I honestly am not sure how the universe even came up with you
Molded masterpiece of in the deep palms, crafted cut and complete to be something extraordinary
You are what I have been searching for years but with you standing so far I still haven't quite found you
This morning was dreary and still, it held a quietness to it that made me feel uncomfortable
There was not aroma of French toast or the curve of my body fitting perfecting into yours
I wake up Saturday mornings and expect to feel rejuvenated but instead, I am so weary
The morning is all empty where love used to be
authentic Jan 2015
Do not confuse the act of kindness with the art of love
There is a line drawn in the sand that you desperately hope the tide will wash out but it never does
There is a difference between a drunken kiss and a sober smile
Do not think for a second you are the reason he wore cologne tonight
Do not acknowledge the hundreds of ropes untangling themselves in your stomach
Do not let his words seep into your skin
Believe them as much as you would believe the words of a man whom you've never met
He will smile in your direction
And it will make you feel like candlelight
Do not let the flame grow
You may think it will keep you warm but it will only burn you and you will wake up with the scars from his fingertips and try to fill in the gaps with liquor
But his taste burns so much sweeter than any alcohol
There is something so captivating about a wildfire
That we want to reach out and touch it
And when we do, it will burn us
Every Time
authentic Jun 2014
some say that it's a physiological fact
that when someone appears
in your dreams
it means that they're missing you
so, I've come to the sad conclusion
that I am probably found in your dreams quite often
yet you never appear in mine
and that is why I hate science
just as much as I hate love
authentic Jan 2015
Lately I've been feeling a vague sense of unease and an unshakable feeling that love was never meant for someone like me
Love is some obsession I have
I crave to be admired and wanted but once I get someone who does this they never seem to be right
Love is a sea we swim in but always climb out when the water splashes in our face and our fingers prune
Love is careful with whom Love lets others hold them
Like a newborn child, someone who is not ready to be so gentle simply cannot handle the responsibility
As I sit in this cage with my feet dangling in the pool
I miss how the water felt
But now I can only barely skim it with my toes
Do not forget how the body needs to feel something
Do not take that feeling for granted
Like I did
authentic Nov 2015
Falling in love is like driving without a seatbelt
You are vulnerable to any casualty, fatality, you are unprotected from chaos
I never understood people who drive without seatbelts
I never understood their courage
It must be nice to feel so safe, you have to invent new ways to put yourself in danger
He was thunderstorm
Exciting and powerful yes but violent, unpredictable and ultimately short lived
He would look at me the way a tsunami looks at a beach house
And all the while I am thinking it is a nice day for the beach
I never did see it coming, not that I ever could have
Love blinds you, blurs your vision, it makes you forget to pay attention to the dangers and direct your focus to the wonderful
I only wish I could have heard the sounding of alarms, could have escaped the burning building for I set it on fire
I have found I am quieter now
Not as ambitious, not as outgoing, not as much laugher hangs in the air above me
With him, most days I could grab my voice and swing it like a hammer but now I pick it up like a shard of glass scared of what might happen if I didn't hold onto it carefully
I have recently been asking myself if sorrow is an art we should pride ourselves on sharing
That we should not fear failure of broad shoulders, we should not be afraid of pain
Throw pity parties in collection of bitter humans
The kind of party where no one is close but everyone is friendly tonight
Love ties come under
Romance is not relentless in appearance
A kiss does not last forever
Passion dies down
Jokes stop being funny
Coffee is too strong
Emotion shows little respect to your inner organs
Affection lies down into its grave
Sometimes the things we would die for are the ones that end up killing us
And now, I find myself driving for hours without my seatbelt on, holding on to nothing more than the steering wheel and endless thoughts of you
authentic Nov 2016
It is the late afternoon
The sun is setting over the city of Seattle and shadows fall underneath buildings
One after the other, lying on their backs mimicking jealousy to the tall giants
She will be in her kitchen stirring lemon grass tea, humming a song she'd heard earlier that day
Perhaps on the radio, perhaps on television, perhaps on the train
She'd glide onto her balcony over-looking endless roofs of houses, buildings and cars
She will never jump, she will never lean
She will simply sit and read books, mystery books, love books, books about everything, books about nothing, she read it all and he loved that but he hated it too
Wondered how someone could detach themselves from the real world to live in one made of only words
Yet though he questioned her motives, she continued
It has been a year, 4 months, and 3 days since her eyes last met his
Time has moved slow, crutched along, eased forward, never taking steps back
The tape hardly ever rewinds and if it does, only for a brief moment
She will be on the train and suddenly he steps inside
He looks just like him from behind
The jacket, the hair, the shoes and then he turns, revealing nothing but a stranger on a train
She will be sitting in a café and suddenly, the sweet and distinct smell of him reigns over her
And she will look around frantically, perhaps he is here
But then reality reminds her that he is back home, swimming in the little city
Accustomed to every street name and curve in the road
She is in Seattle, a runaway, a dreamer
It is late afternoon
The sun is setting over the city of Seattle and shadows fall underneath buildings
She will be in her kitchen, stirring lemon grass tea, humming his favorite song
authentic Mar 2015
Something has been going wrong with me for a long time now
My life used to be overflowing with potential
Nothing could stop the greatness I was heading towards
But something did
I wasn’t always a hollow thing
I was once overflowing, abundant in joy and hope in all things
Life was sweet and I couldn’t get enough
But now everything has changed
People talk to me like I am dead and I have to remind myself that ia m not, that I am still alive
Life crippled into unfinished meals on the table
Languages dried up
Seeing old friends that only loved who you used to be
I am an empty vessel that no one wants to touch
But I have reached a unmarked line
Crying out, begging me to try again
Revive my old self that was stolen by intoxication of the wrong things
Light the candle and watch it burn
Inhale the scent of lemon cherry blossom
And begin to hope, begin to make myself believe
That second chances are real
And that maybe this is mine
authentic Oct 2014
We will have to keep quiet about this love
A love story never to be published
Never to be seen by anyone
Always closed doors and deleted text messages
Always turning off the camera
Always turning off the light
We will have to keep quiet about this love
Because not everyone is ready for it
Everyone except us
She
authentic Jun 2015
She
And I bet she doesn't write poetry
I bet her mind is shallow, floating above water in places where I am drowning
She does not trace homes in your chest
She does not wait for it to be perfect
She does not wait for it to be love
Our eyes spoke more than our mouths ever did and I figured that was okay
We were butterflies in tummies and fluttering heartstrings of laughter that lasted a little too long
I am now spending my time trying to figure out if I have gotten stronger or weaker and which of those is worse
Even fragile hearts are strong enough to hold on to something as big as love
No matter these callused palms that you may find no reassurance in, your act of running away does not mean I won't stop reaching out
I know that I have gotten better
But I will forever be tempted to drive by your house just to remember what it looked like and I am never sure if I want you to be outside to see me or completely oblivious to the fact that I still love you
I do not want to seem weak, and I know that I am a new person because of you
I just wish you could meet her
She still writes poetry
She always will
authentic Jun 2015
She's going to be drunk and stupid
She's going to let her hair down, falling over her shoulders, smiling at the slight tickled feeling of it
She's going to dance with boys whom she will not remember the names or faces of but she will remember exactly what they were wearing
She's going to trip over herself, her knees will battle earthquakes breaking day fall of more drink or one more cigarette
She is going to smoke until she can only see a transparent outline of herself in the mirror
And she will smile, freely and oblivious to reality
She's going to be drunk and stupid
And it's going to be the most beautiful tragedy he has ever laid his eyes on
authentic Sep 2017
And then the strangest thing happened...I leaned in, close enough to exchange breaths and then I kissed her. It was a taste I’d never known before. Strawberries, cigarettes and cheap wine were suddenly a sample of honeyed lilac. Once I’d started, I couldn’t stop. We couldn’t stop. It was as if energy was pulsing through us, like we were generating the power to the whole city. It was soft and vicious at the same time. It was electric. My hands explored the back of her neck and she reached her hands into my hair, pulling into each other. We are magnetic. Finally, we stopped and looked at one another. A look so bold and revered and then everything came into focus and she let out a small sigh. I hadn’t noticed up until now that she had a freckle under the right corner of her eye. And then she smiled. God, isn’t that a sight, I thought to myself. So what do you do after a moment like this? What anyone in their right mind would do, of course. I asked her to dance.
authentic Jul 2014
There is something significant about the way that some stars run and others sit still
There is something significant about the way that the sun has a schedule and the moon has different shades of beautiful
There is something significant about the way his eyes spark when he looks in her direction
She isn't sure if he loves her or another one but she pretends that she is his only so she can sleep at night
It's more significant how she refuses to believe that he really loves her
She let's the hope carry on inside of her mind like a dream that never actually happened
It was so much easier to wish than to actually pursue
So she sat back and waited for something significant enough
To make her go on her own strength
authentic May 2015
I am waiting for my silver lining
I have been watching the sun hide behind clouds for months now
Gazing into its bright corners where blinding serpents lay, encouraging the empty hearted
I often tell myself that my silver lining is coming
That no matter the negative electricity illuminating the grey confines of my bedroom where cigarette ashes stain the carpet and sheets
That right on the precipice of this hopeless situation, I will see my silver lining, I just know it
I have grown up with the theory that if you impersonate happiness, it will sew itself into your skin and you just might convince your problems that you better off without them
But I have learned that when it's authentic
Pure, raw, effortless joy, that's your silver lining
And I am waiting, patiently, for mine
authentic Apr 2015
I dreamed that I am stuck in a room with you and her, falling in love over me, letting your amour brush my skin like a knife and I wake up thinking it is just a dream
I know, however, that is isn't
People keep telling me that it will get easier knowing that this is all there is but I can't even get out of bed
My stomach does not ache for nourishment
My limbs grow weaker by the day
I cannot bring myself to the realization that you have left, gone, moved away with no plan to return
Even if a man misses his old home that does not mean
he will move back into it
My room has grown cold from the door always being open
I can hardly sleep because my bed is so empty
I have lost the memory of your body once being there next to me
The outline of your shoulders has faded to grey
I am sorry my love is almost as bad as my memory
I shut you out with a silence that you didn’t understand
Neither did I, you were not alone in the profound confusion
I missed you the second I stepped out of your truck
But I learned it didn't matter the amount of hope I had
I planted hopes all throughout my garden that only
remained lonely seeds
I know that this doesn’t make any sense
I know that we may never love again
But that does not keep me from holding on to the sleeve
of December
I wish I could tell you why my grip is so tight on it
But I can't
In fact there are a lot of things I can't tell you
A lot of things I wish I could
I only write them down
In hopes that you will read them
authentic Mar 2014
Suicide seems so bitter-sweet
Bitter: You are dead
Sweet: You get to choose when
Although I have craved
That simple taste of death
I was never brave enough
To end it all at once
So I have substituted that bitter-sweet death
With the bitter-sweet taste
Of a lit cigarette
Killing myself slowly
One inhale at a time
authentic Apr 2015
Some advice I should have given myself before I loved you
1.) He will sound like he means it and it is everything that you want to hear, do not mistake misguided desperation for affection as truth.
2.) Love is stronger than pride and if he does not treat you like the brightest star he has ever seen he is not the right one.
3.) This world is like sugar, it may crumble easily beneath you but do not be afraid to taste it, do not confuse it with salt.
4.) In life, if you love someone, you will do anything you can to keep it but you cannot take someone's heart and enslave it. Love is a ***** game but it is not love when it is forceful.
5.) Your eyes have seen more than his take time do notice, be careful with those who do not recognize detail in little conversations.
6.) Before you give yourself away to someone, make sure that they will take care of you. You are fragile and need all the passion that the waves have for the ocean shore. Someone who will be able to describe the color of your eyes to a room full of blind people. You deserve so much more than you think you do.
7.) Do not confuse a spark for love. Love is supposed to feel like igniting a firework that never ends. Do not mistake love for infatuation.
authentic Mar 2015
Some advice I would have given myself last weekend
One.
If something feels wrong, do not do it. When you want to call him, hand your phone to your best friend because she can do less damage with it then you can.
Two.
When he tells you he was interested in someone else, do not reach for the alcohol. I know that it hurts but you will feel worse in the morning and it is not worth it, it never was.
Three.
When the stench of cigarettes and cold sweat tattoos itself on your skin, do not wash it off. Let the odor sink in until you realize that it is one that you do not need.
Four.
When you feel tired, go to sleep. Though staying awake seems like the more fun option realize that your body is setting into fatigue for a reason.
Five.
When you want to jump out the window, don’t. The ground seems so close but it isn't. When your friend pulls you away do not walk back.
Six.
Pick yourself up, wash the aroma of last night from your back, listen to it disappear into your shower drain, let the water be too hot. Close your eyes and focus on the memory tearing from your body, last night was a lesson, learn from it and move on.
authentic May 2015
Some paths are destined to diverge
Meeting in one spot where they are better together
Leading the way, stepping stones for what's to come
Intertwining in the softest light
The love was so persuasive you could taste it
And it sounds so simple to keep going unitedly
But love never is
Some paths are destined to diverge
But some are destined to meet again
And all my hope is planted in that some
And that maybe we could be one of them
To join once more
authentic Apr 2014
Something is tapping my shoulder
Telling me to look away
Telling me that it simply will not work
That even with everything I've got, it'll never be enough
But something else urges me on
As if you were the only one for me
As if you actually felt the same way
As if I could actually obtain such beauty
But suddenly the door swings off it's hinges and reality stands in the door way shaking his head
He knows that there is no such thing as second chances
He knows that I do not deserve something of such quality
He knows all of the things that I refuse to believe
I still love you like I always have
Like lighting the last match just to watch it burn
Like a little kid playing with fireworks, loving the sparks but hating the ending, always wanting more
Always wanting to hold the lighter but to afraid of the flame being so close
I am a runaway train headed straight toward you
Yet even with our head on collision
You still do not even recognize me
Something is telling me to let go
But everything else is tightening my grip
not my best, kind of messy but I needed to
authentic Mar 2016
It's been a while since I've had this much not to say
I feel all of my words that once flowed through me with ease are clogged up and locked inside
They have become ashes, my creativity is slowly depleting
You make me feel like I have something worth saying again
I'm not quite sure what it is yet but it is something big and it is something beautiful
authentic Apr 2015
I think I may have stopped loving you for a while
Let the world take a toll on me and left you in the dust
With no second thought of what might happen to you
Or who might pick you up while I was gone
But though I may have driven away
And though this was selfish of me
I expected you to be there waiting for me when I returned
It has been about four months
These old songs do nothing but remind me of how often I have tried to forget them
Even the lemonade from life's lemons is starting to taste bland
Though at times I did not realize it, you were my sweet
I have learned that just because you can write a good love letter does not mean that they will come back to you
I am only a lonely heart trying to make its way back home
But I am not sure where home is anymore
I thought it was you but you have moved away
Left me deserted, I did not think it would come to this
And here I am, knocking on the door of an abandoned house expecting you to come out
My mother always told me not to have high expectations but I couldn’t help myself
Now, I find myself waiting on your front porch
Tracing memories and song lyrics in the dirt
for my ex
authentic May 2015
I find myself sitting in the confines of my car thinking about everything except where I am going
My destination never means much unless it is somewhere to meet you
The street lights light up this highway but inside this car it has never been darker
I think of you on most days
Most days being all days
I think of riding in the passenger seat with the music too loud
But I would still shout it to be sure you knew just how much I liked the song
I think of how now I open my own door
And I never would have thought touching a door handle would be so bonding
My wrists get heavier each time I reach for it
I think of how when I was tired or scared or worried, I could lay on your shoulder, wrap my arm in yours
I imagine that you drive with your hand on someone else's thigh
And it makes me sick to my stomach
I find myself sitting in the confines of my car at a red light
And the music is too loud, but maybe it's better that way
authentic Jan 2015
There are advantages
To isolation of romance
And anything regarding emotion
But at the end of the day
Despite the thought of freedom
And repetitive reflections of past discomfort
It is challenging to lay alone
Slowly becoming accustomed to a bed to yourself
Realizing the new space and profound independence
But I will always miss the warmth of a body
There is something captivating about flesh on flesh
Body on body, enveloping each other in balmy breaths
Tangling legs like tired shoe laces
Wrapping tightly, pushing away the thought of anything else
There is something peaceful about that
Though cold sheets are refreshing
Warm bodies are reassuring
There is something about the way it feels
The way their chest rises when they breathe
Not even realizing how you have memorized how it elevates
There is nothing more tranquil
I know that living it up and being free is wonderful
Never taking the risk of heartbreak is solacing
Doing what you please, when you please is disentangling
Absence of amour is sometimes divine
But every craves affection intermittently
Even if they do not admit to it
authentic Jul 2015
You are never given a warning
Often times, not will try and stop you
Your heart will flutter like hand painted butterfly wings
You will know you are in love when your hand is aching to write poems on their shoulders
Love grows like vines up from your stomach climbing to your heart and mind
Braiding into itself like a strand of DNA
Singing prayers and sacred alphabets of lust
No one is sure how to describe love because we negate definition when we know it is deliberately dangerous
We make it seem like this heartache is so wonderful
Because it is better to feel something for someone that to not feel anything at all
A joyous disaster is still a disaster
We are putting up wallpaper to cover up old memories, love songs, favorite colors going grey
We are never sure of what to do when our pulse turns to choir of sledgehammers when they tell you that they just don’t love you anymore
Something will trigger inside of you and you will feel like a city of stained glass with an approaching terrorist attack
But we continue to fall in love
Wondering how many times we can survive roulette
authentic Aug 2014
in still moments our souls
entrust us with thoughts
that open up a gate
meant to be kept hidden
until our bones are strong enough to carry the weight
that old lovers refused to take with them
like the disappearance of a father
leaving a little girl in constant wonder
in still moments we climb trees
and look out at the view that the veil has kept hidden from us
but they apologize with fragments of sunsets
in still moments we remember
we recall the laughter
we reread old stories
we try to make it seem as if it is all still so happy
in still moments
just before the noise and the motions return
just before reality walks back in
we pause
because sometimes in still moments
there is an unconstrained fear
and then
you wake up
authentic May 2015
A sudden collision creates a storm within you
You see him falling in love with someone else
Watching it like a movie in black and white
You never thought he would paint on someone else's body
Color has turned to grey because being artwork often involves inspiration and he was yours
Your stomach turns, spinning in circles
You remember dancing in the kitchen
The memories claw themselves up your throat and you find yourself talking about him with your friends
And they will smile, gently, and see nothing more but innocent reminiscence
While your mind evolves into a tornado
Destroying everything that doesn’t have his name on it
Getting up in the morning is no longer refreshing because somehow being alive is more painful and pretending to be lifeless
Your dreams are filled with people who are not him and you convince yourself that science has nothing to do with this
They say that when someone appears in your dreams, it means that they are missing you
So I have come to the conclusion that I am found in yours quite often
And I hate science because it fools you into believing that there is a cure to loving someone, that going out with friends and trying to forget him will eventually follow through but it never does
Your bathroom floor suddenly becomes a habitual wasteland
The tile carving itself into the bottom of your thighs where his hands used to be
You think that maybe if you just play pretend
Like a child playing dress up
Wear your favorite clothes and act as if they are your favorite for a reason other than the fact that he loved you in them
Tighten your necklace to where it is almost suffocating you and cutting into your skin
Remind yourself that storms pass
And start preparing yourself to clean up the mess that he has left
authentic Jan 2015
Alcohol condones such sweet behavior
The way it lets you teach me something new
Lets your lips dance on my skin
Sends my body into ecstasy
The sound of your breathing
Resonates through the air
And seeps into the cracks of the walls
The way it collides with my skin
And buries through the flesh
Whisper passions in my ear
Like waves whispering on the shores of her children
Trail your fingers down my back
Engulf me in sin
No boundaries are drawn in liquor fantasy
The moment between each breath
Carving sweet drunken memories on my neck
Succumbing to your every desire
I know I should stand on my will
But you asked me so nicely
Turning one way and then the other
Falling inward towards the center of this spiral
Leading to such peaceful sleep
The way your snoring claws at the silence
Your burnt out taste has never felt so divine
Leaving numbness on my tongue
With the constant, reoccurring thought
I never want to leave this bed
authentic Sep 2015
It is Sunday morning and I want to be waking up with you
Sunrise reaching through a crack in my curtains, staining the far wall with an angel's grace
I search the room for fragrance of romance and realize I am here alone
I think of you, sitting in the passenger seat, you driving
I wonder how focused you are on the road
I watched the sparkle dance across your eyes like fireflies at dusk
I imagine laying my head on your chest
Listening to your heartbeat and the blood pulsing through you veins like waves running from sea predators
I dream of kissing your velvet lips, taste the whisper wasted secrets of the world going into my mouth
Remind me of what you're running away from when we are laying still
I crave you when I'm near drifting off to sleep, or when I fix a cup of coffee, or when sitting at a red light
Nail my hands to this steering wheel, open my bones and look for your fingerprints
I swear I've seen you in another life, distant daylight drumming dancers, bend over backwards to reach your hands
I knew your name before I met you, my mother would tell me of a boy, one that I will meet one day, I think it must be you
Carry me up the stairs when I'm too tired to walk, undress me like a fragile glass doll, kiss my bare shoulders
Open up my mind and read my rough drafts and smile at how far I have come
Spin me in circles in the kitchen in place of doing the dishes
Trace the curves of my body, outline this artwork with your paintbrush fingertips
She used to tell me stories, make believe, play pretend with the faceless man whom I will be in love with and will be in love with me
Because the best feeling is to love and be loved in return
And I remember my father smiling at my mother as if she was the miracle he had searched his whole life for
Nothing less than spectacular, a supernatural occurrence where the odds happened to be in his favor
I remember Sunday mornings, sleep late, sit outside and listen to their favorite songs
Drink coffee all day in PJs and actually make breakfast
I look forwards to Sunday mornings where I hope you will wake next to me
authentic Nov 2015
As a collection of beings exchanging breaths and footprints in enclosed purgatories of our own nightmares
I do not think we can survive without love
We have always played the game because it is the first one we learned how to
As children we were taught to feel, programmed to need someone there
And as we grew, songs and movies molded our imaginations into something artificial
Like the sweetener your mother put into her ice tea the morning of the divorce
Magazine articles seem to know so much on "How To Make Them Love You"
And we begin to believe that all stories are the same stories, that maybe movies are real
That fairytales are finally crawling out of their mask of fiction and are coming to reward you with true love's kiss
Maybe we are just too naïve for the media
Maybe we are just too naïve for each other
Cradling words that hint "I love you"
Tucking their body language into our pocket
We make ourselves believe because we have always played make believe
I've learned it is hard to abandon the habits we have always lived by
Some of us our prone to fall in love with the first person who takes a second glance
The boy who wears ***** converse and slicks back his dark brown hair
Hair that is untamable and hangs over his forehead
The girl who knows every word to your favorite Beatles song
And writes poetry about the shading of the sky
Born on a lonely street and looking for vacancies on every corner
Patience has never been our priority
We are constantly shaping ourselves to fit into someone else's gap
Obsessed with becoming the kind of silhouette that people fall in love with
We are all connected in such a way that we need romance, need a body lying next to us in gray sheets on Sunday mornings to remind us that even when it rains, grass grows
This bloodline runs thin but somehow we always drown
I do not think we can survive without love
It is the key to locked doors, the blueprint for our foundation
Our rib cage aches to have fingers run across it
We are waiting for someone to reach inside of our chests and steal our heart away
We have laced up are shoes, ready to take theirs too
I do not think we can survive without love
And the crushing irony of it all
Is love is the very poison that will **** us
authentic Nov 2014
Opening windows to let in the air that we never thought we would need to enter because our lungs
could surely sustain us from the wind but not from this
This storm that has occurred took me by surprise
and I am not able to sustain myself
I have been learning to stand up straight without anyone else's help but lately I have found myself falling a lot
My hands are always shaking
My knees tremble because they cannot hold this weight
Always slipping in the exact moment
when I stop paying attention to where I am going
I have learned that pain is not worth anything more
than the words you can dig up to describe it
I am crumbling like a palace of cards
It only takes a light breeze
To knock me over
Completely
authentic Nov 2014
In our lives we all come across a sweetness
One that we cannot truly fathom
One that will give us the cavities that we once had nightmares about but are now being welcomed into their new home because you cannot let go of the sweetness
I know that sweetness
I know what it is like to have something to fill you up
I know what it's like to love something so much that it seems to occupy every thought and every vacant space in your mind until the image of it seems tattooed on your brain
Do not let it go
Chances are that loving something so much, there is a reason behind it
I never believed in coincidence
Everything is fate, everything has a purpose behind it
If you love something so sweet
Your taste buds are addicted to that flavor for a reason
Taste it, never let it slip away
In our lives we all come across a sweetness
Usually only once, hold on to it
authentic May 2015
At any time, my heart could stop beating
The repetitive drum pounding in my chest could cease
And it makes me wonder what have I done in my life that is worth writing about
I do not want my eulogy to be filled with my mediocre successes
I do not want my soul to leave without saying all that this body has held inside
I want to say things that make my heart beat so fast my knees quiver
I want to be horribly straightforward to the point where people wonder if I am lying and the irony of it all is that for once I won't be
I want to open up these locked doors and let people inside
Give them a tour of this garden that on some days is not always beautiful
The kind of text messages where I want to throw my phone after I press send and I want to do this because I want to know how alive you feel when you feel something for someone else
Some of us are doing our best to be happy but avoiding sorrow can hinder us from growing
Reaching your lowest point can sometimes remind you that you know how to climb a ladder
And I know it's strange and scary to tell people that you want them, need them, miss them, love them but could you imagine dying without them ever hearing it?
authentic Oct 2014
This is a lot harder than you think it is
As humans, we like the idea of us being able to jump into things and handle it
No tutorials or real practice
Just the notion that you've got it under control
But truth is, we can only handle so much
People around us can only handle so much
We may love the concept that we don’t need any help, that we can do whatever we and it'll always work out
It wont
Taking things slow is a lot harder than you think
Knowing the speed limit
Only makes you want to exceed it
Putting a boundary lines only makes me want to cross over it
Taking things slow is tough, it's true
But the best things take time
I believe that
And this is the best things
authentic Oct 2013
Tangled
You and I
Like old earphones coming out of worn pockets
Like string sitting in a junk drawer
Like hair fresh from a nap
Like old shoe laces that were double knotted
You and I
Tangled
authentic May 2014
Don't ask me what it is like to love someone
I have thrown the word love away
Like they do colorful beads at Mardi Gras
Abundant and beautiful
Yet no one throws them back
Don't ask me what it is like to love someone
I have waited by too many telephones
I have kissed too many of the wrong people
Hoping to find one who's lips might taste like his
Like craving something you're allergic to
Yet still giving into the temptation of eating it an suffering anyways
Do not ask me what it is like to love someone
Because I have not experienced real love
Real love is when it is returned
Having the one who's eyes look like the sunrise
The one who's walk makes you want to follow behind them
The one who had a smile that can reignite a fireplace
Having the one who makes your heart melt like ice cream on a summer day love you as much as you love them or even more
That is real love
And I am not familiar with something so precious
Because the one who stimulates my well-being is too busy
Following someone else, someone who is nothing like me
And yet still I wonder if he is taste testing too
authentic Sep 2017
We are destined to arrive at our graves alone so why is it that we pursue companionship so furiously with someone who will arrive at a different time? We anxiously dive into this realm of uncharted territory, hoping to find someone who will fill in our timeline with love and fancy. What I have come to learn over the years is that love is a savage and merciless emotion, a creature unyielding and untamed, yet we still chase it relentlessly.
Why?
It’s just what we do. Among all feelings, love can give you wings and revive the dead broken parts of yourself that you once thought were irreputable. Love can set your life into bloom. Love feels like spring. Sometimes. Other times though, love is malicious and malignant but we say, No, love only means well, Love has the best intentions, but is this true?
Let’s say that perhaps Love does mean well and is truly trying very hard to devise us each with a kindred spirit to bring us unbounded warmth and pleasure. However, Love is not perfect and will often miss a step or forget the formula. Love will forget to call or remarry only 6 months after the divorce.
But do we blame Love for this? How can we?
It is the most compelling passion that is granted to the human race. The one thing that can soften the savage beast. In a world full of temporary things, Love is a perpetual feeling. Love keeps us constant and alive like a compass in the dark wood.
So, as this fleeting moment that we call life presses by, we sit next to the pretty girls in class and dance with the man at your best friend’s wedding because Love is infinite. It is a relentless thirst that we will try to quench, always. It is the one thing that neither god nor any force on earth could steal from us. A right embedded into our very souls, carved into the stone walls of our minds. We will do the impossible for love.
It wires us, makes us feel safe, makes us feel crazy, makes us feel everything all at once. We would die for it. We would **** for it. Love has no limits. It is the one thing that we can take with us when we are buried. I do not know what happens when we pass over, but I take great comfort in knowing that someone will come to visit my bones and tend my flowers even after I have gone.
That is why we dive.
authentic Jan 2015
There is something enticing about how beauty is so powerful in the world we live in today
If you have a sculptured body with curves that flow endlessly and eyes that make the night sky jealous
Well you can do almost anything
People will tell you what you want to hear just to see the sweet words shatter as you try to catch them
They will sell the vow like a groom on his wedding day
Dancing to her father's favorite song but only waiting to take her to the bedroom to show her what you think she's missing
But she is not missing anything
They will advocate the promise and you will believe every word because beautiful things demand to be trusted
But soon they will disappear
Just after they have tied you up and left you in agony
They will walk away just like the prince in your little fairytale
You will realize, maybe not right away
But as you sit gripping the ends of your shirt, cradling what's left of your innocence in the palm of your hand
You will realize that is was your soul they were selling
**The Whole Time
authentic Mar 2015
A love that is not tangible
One that stands just close enough to reach for
With the illusion that it is close enough to touch
It isn't
It is sweet and lures you in like a blind man to beautiful music
I look at him, wide eyed gaze as my heart seizes inside of my chest
Lips pursed in expectation of what may never be
The way my knees break at the sound of your voice
Like I am bowing down to God
I save your words, tucking them into my pocket because
I only hear something so gentle and alluring so much
And suddenly the anxiety of truth wraps itself around my chest
Reminding my heart beat to slow because it is no use in getting so worked up
Over something so unattainable
authentic Jun 2014
I look out and see a crescendo of light emerging from behind trees
I try not to stare because I know my eyes are sensitive to this bright light
but I can not help but stare at such a beautiful illustration
and this is the closest comparison I can come up with
to how I feel when I see you
authentic May 2014
I am in love with the idea of you
I could listen to your voice forever
put you on a record and play you for hours
I want to pour all of your thoughts into a wine glass
and sip it slowly, taking in each one, swallowing smooth dreams
I want to look into your eyes
just long enough to decipher each color
to count each eyelash
I want to hold your hand in mine
and feel each crescent in your palm
I could go on about the idea of you for ages
I could talk about you like a novel I was planning to write
Draw out each word with extravagant detail
I could do it all
I am in love with the idea of you
Yet after the record finishes, each time
It is always harder to play it again
Because each word that slips off of your lips
are the lips that have kissed a girl who is not me
authentic May 2015
Upon finding pictures of you ex-boyfriend kissing his new girlfriend

        1) Remind yourself why the relationship ended. Do not forget the weight in your chest that you felt when he slipped away in such a secular way, he was only doing what his friend was encouraging.
2) When you skin is itching for his touch, think of how his fingers burned holes in your skin. Look at the scars but do not stare at them, they are only proof that you have gotten stronger, do not think about the sensation of the drawn out flame. You never imagined that torching your flesh would feel so freeing.
3) You will wonder what she tastes when she kisses him. If he tastes like whsikey or chap stick or both. You will wonder what his lips feel like because you never got to experience them, do not think about this for too long, this will only lead you to bring it up in your conversation. This happens far too often than it should.
4) When you are not expecting it, though you never are, and you see the passion in his face towards her, remind yourself that he once claimed to love you. Even if he did not mean it, imagine that if you ever were to kiss him he would have kissed with the same devotion.
5) Think of how he never loved you past midnight. Lost slippers and love affairs in the aroma of alcohol or curfews. He tried and so did you but it wasn’t enough. Sometimes that's just the way it goes.
        6) When you think you are over him, have fooled yourself that this is concludes your tear stained pages, convinced that you will not answer his call. Remind yourself that you will, but do not mistake desire for love, because though he may call, you are not the only one in his recents, think of the picture of him kissing his new girlfriend and though it may break you, it will help you not to get wrapped up in the thought that he might actually miss you too.
authentic Feb 2015
The ocean to come people is seen as an enemy
A vast area covered with salt water mysteries
We have not discovered all that is hidden beneath its thresholds
Oceanic breaths pulling in innocence
Their mothers tell them not to swim out too far,
Do not dare go where I can't see you honey
The ocean is filled with hundreds of thousands of known marine life forms, there are many that are yet to be discovered, some scientists suggest that there could actually be millions of marine life forms out there
We, as humans, are so fearful of the unknown
Fleeing from an form of uncharted findings
We run from things that we have not yet given names to
Breaking waves roar for attention, sometimes names will never be enough
That is the hardest thing to learn and the least taught
The ocean does not push away intentionally
Waves may crash over you but it will always apologetically draw you back in
The taste of salty air will engulf all of your senses
You will feel as if you are drowning but the water is only merely covering your ankles, you will be afraid, as we all are, feeling small-scaled and young
But panic isn't an emotion
And fear is not a battle plan
The ocean will hold you like the hemming in a backyard hammock
Wrapping you up until the smell of your mothers perfume fades into seawater
Filling your lungs, capturing, swallowing you whole
The tide will lace in your veins, you will try to erase all you have learned about the not knowing that lives within it
And suddenly, as time hangs suspended on the sunset wall
You will ask yourself, if people are so scared of the ocean
Why do they still swim?
Because love is stronger than pride
And some people will give anything
To be held
Even if it means drowning
Haven't written in it feels like forever about something not completely about love, so here this is, shoutout to emma
authentic Jun 2014
Sometime in life, most of you will come to a point
where the one whom you love
has taken away too many pieces of you
and has not returned enough
and you will feel vacant and hungry for any kind of love
from them
but they are not interested in giving any away
not to you
and you will just have to deal with it
but for those who never encounter this tribulation
do not take love for granted
love it like it loves you
and make the most of every waking second
because not everyone
is as fortunate as you
authentic Dec 2014
There are days when I love you
Days where all I want is to be next to you
To talk to you about the weather
And argue about where we want to eat
Days where I want you to choose
There are days when I love you
And I want you to know that
So in every way that I can, I will endeavor show it
I will paint a picture of your smile
I will carry you over puddles
I will be the princess in your castle
There are days when the hellos are endless
Days when music is so sweet
And the sunshine beaming through your truck windshield is the only light I will ever need
But, as there always are, they are inevitable
There are days when I hate you
Days where all I want is for you to leave
I want to scream at you for making me second guess all of my feelings for you and ask if you are doing the same for me
There are days when I wonder why I am with you
Days where I think I could do better than you
Days when your sharp tone and loud clamor of vocals in my head cut so deep I swear that all the blood will drain from my body in a matter of minutes
There are days when you make the world seem so sweet, like cherry trees and honey
The sweetest things of all are flowing within you
But there are also days when the fire that once kept us warm is burning us
Days when the sun is just another reminder that you do not shine as bright as it does
There are so many days that have already passed
They are a variety of emotions
But know that on the days where I hate you
I still love you, I just cannot not show it in that moment
Secretly I want you to stay
I promise I do
authentic Jan 2015
There are the worst days
There are days when you want to fall to the floor, melt into it, feel each floorboard sink into your bones, feel your skin succumb to nails and creak when someone steps on your hip bone, feel it break just a little as the pain raises up your veins
There are days when you mind will disintegrate in the flames that are burning up your eyes, light a match just to watch it burn do not let go of it when it reaches the tips of your fingers, let the heat fold into your flesh
There are days when getting out of bed is a survival tactic because if you just lay here you will feel your lungs collapse on themselves, feel your breathing slow, let the ceiling fan spin in your head until you are too dizzy to remember why the day was so bad in the first place, feel your
There are days when you will want to give it all up, watch the smoke rise from your body, see the translucent form of yourself leave your room leaving the door open, hoping you will follow it but you do not, you never do
There are the worst days
But do not fear them
Because thought there are the worst ones
There are the best ones as well
authentic Mar 2015
There is a boy
He has velvet lips sweeter than honey
Enticing green eyes, shining like the full moon at the nights peak
His hair, dark and lustrous, has a sheen like fine hardwood
Like a waterfall of autumn leaves
His smile ignites a fire in my stomach, burning, growing
His aura is captivating, I could talk to him for hours
Everything about him grips my attention and I do not know how to get away and I am afraid to relive an unrequited love story
There is a boy
I barely know him at all
But the little things have always been the biggest
And maybe something so alluring,
Something that can mesmerize me this much
Well, perhaps maybe it was meant to
authentic May 2016
And although I actively debate the thought of suicide
I know that there is nothing better than being alive
I may have trials, days where it feels God fist is pressing down on me
Days where I can't function how I should because of the immense discomfort
Days where I am soaked to the bone in poisonous words
I know one thing to be true, always
There is nothing better than being alive
If I have no one, I have myself
I have birds and trees, the ocean is my swimming pool
I have the sun and the moon, the cosmos are my best of friends
The mountains encourage me the stay strong child
The wind encourages me to keep moving forward
This world is the only reason I am still breathing because I am so in love with it
I know that even on my worst of days
There is nothing better than being alive
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