Why do we do the things we do?
When we go for a walk or sleep with the lights off or drive around at 2 am
Stumbling over our own feet so hopelessly human out on a quest trying to find something to relate to
We're just brave souls throwing ourselves into a future we've convinced ourselves we deserve to stand in
As if we knew tomorrow were promised to be happier
Perhaps we are just waiting too much
Waiting to adventure, waiting till we're older and less scared but maybe less spontaneous
Because people change and we can't stop that because we can’t stop anything but ourselves
Hold back feelings, opinions, gestures, words do not mean much after you have waited too long to say them
It's funny how we have to experience things ourselves to learn the lesson and even then we have a hard time making the appropriate adjustments
I know the devil enters our mouths when we're angry
And I think we all just want someone to be vulnerable around and not be judged by them
We lie to make other people feel better
We lie to make ourselves feel better
We lie just to do it
Looking out the window imagining where we want to be but instead of being honest we will only say we like the view
We would always be hungrier than our rations would allow because are too scared to ask for more
We would rather starve then cause trouble for those in the kitchen
But I've learned that there are times when you need to throw dirt to keep your face from becoming dust
Honey dripping heartbeat doubt
Questioning motives of those we ae sure we have figured out but just when we think we know it all
Thriller taps your shoulder and reveals the rest of the puzzle we swore we'd finished long ago
I think it’s important to sit down in your own company to register the concerns you were not familiar with but were always there
Everything humming with the arrival of traffic over the horizon you release the tension over a cup of coffee
Life is all about choices
It's the choices we make that connect our constellations, every second of every moment hinging on a point so relevant but so arbitrary, like handfuls of stardust being thrown onto an empty canvas
Why do we do the things that we do?
Sometimes we don’t know, but there's always a reason for it

There will be a day, coming to you soon
When your world of black and white turns to color
The pages in your childhood color book
Will be scribbled outside of the lines
Every inch will illuminate pigments of joy
Carelessly erasing blankness
Replacing it with animation
There will be a day, coming to you soon
When the gaps in your soul will be filled
Like pouring water into the glass
Whether it be half full or half empty
It will be overflowing
There will be a day, coming to you soon
When the words that fell out of your mother's mouth
Taunting and baneful, each criticism will melt beneath this new light that you have found
Do not give up yet
Nothing is as hopeless as it seems
There will be a day, coming to you soon
When everything will be okay
Don't miss it my love
Don’t miss it, please

I've been loving the sky more than anything else these days and not many will understand why
I have gradually discovered that romantic love is like a blanket that will always leave your feet cold
You will waste time blowing out candles only to drown in smoke
Lately, I'm beginning to feel like all those books you never finished
You see, I believe there is depth to existence, I believe the surface is mostly decorative
And perhaps you really are exhausted, perhaps you are not as happy as you seem now that you have left me
I'm sorry for being such a difficult person to love
But slowly I am becoming
I often find myself talking to the sky, she always knows exactly what to say, she always listens

We dream about how life used to be far too often. When people loved one another, strangers would smile at one another on the street. The earth was a paradise. Flowers popped up in impossible places and bird songs filled the air of every continent. Snow, fog, rain showers, spread with such astounding and unexpected beauty to every setting. Animals were loved as family members and it was natural instinct to be kind to one another. There were possibilities at every turn, no limits stood in your way and you could almost do anything. What we forget to realize that very little has changed. The world is still a beautiful place, we just tend to only see the worst of it. Love your universe because it is still as beautiful as ever.

On days like today, I am the sky. You are sitting on an old stool in the kitchen. Clad in blue pajamas, burnt caramel hair hanging over your eyes. You are reading a book, it is old and yellow. I find myself building a treehouse for us in my mind. You are a poet’s death of choice. Your fingers slide gently down the side of the page as you turn it, glancing over at me. You let out a sigh and give me a small smile. This is my garden song. This is my first right. My Sunday morning. I think I loved you before I knew how. Some people, they are artists and some people are art and my god, darling, you are both. I want to read the poems you write when you think God isn’t watching. Let’s make love and fall asleep in each other’s arms and wake up just to make love again. Take me to your favorite museum. Show me how gentle you can be. When you are at a loss of words, kiss me and I will spill a new language into your mouth. I will kiss you in places you never knew existed. I touch the parts of you that have been kept behind a curtain. This is my garden song and today, I am the sky. Tomorrow, we will bloom under the September rain and and slowly dig each other’s graves.

I have spent nights drowning in liquor and the language between us that we never learned to speak out loud
I have underlined the catch phrases
The clues, the insiders, the unspoken declarations
I have swallowed syllables, swallowed shots
Injected my body with the way you sound on the phone when you're tired
I leave my phone downstairs so I can't call you in my sleep
At night, intoxicated and stubbornly confused I am a little less broken
Numb to the humility of unrequited love
Shake hands with cupid in back seats
And talk with him about his aim
When it is dark out, somehow I can still breathe
The constellations hanging heavy over my head offer enough comfort to keep my eyes dry
But I always love you in the morning
More than the morning before
Somehow in my brief unconsciousness, you are still alive
I often wake up in a pool of *****
I am so tired of this endless spiral to no where
I am tired of spilling your name out all over my mattress in a drunken sickness in the middle of the night
Early hours of the morning, before dawn
I recognize my reflection by name but not by spirit
And maybe love is only easy before the sun comes up because it is so easy to find yourself
When you are dazed and drowsy
Worn and wavered
Your senses take flight in essence of the indispensable atmosphere gripping the tips of your fingers
Let the smoke rise, ashes fall
Let the clouds dance over the moon
And when the sun comes up
Dawn creeps in, shadows step out of hiding
I sit up, not quite sober, in recovery of trying to remember how to forget your name
I sit up, giving myself enough time to adjust my eyes
And in just the right lighting I can see the your tall figure standing in my room looking at pictures I've hung on the wall
The paintings, the posters, the letters
I look at my hands
Shaking, cold, fatigued
Fix my gaze on my veins
This is my skin, not yours, and yet you are still under it
I am unconditionally and eternally entranced by your haunting presence
You are a ghost in the night that watches me sleep
But you are only a figure of dust in the morning
Leaving again

This love is reckless
This love is closed doors that
only open for oxygen
This love is driving without headlights
This is I feel like I'm crazy kind of love
This is I never want to be away kind of love
This is I stay up late kind of love
You have a kiss like a forest fire
You once called me a match
I am no longer afraid of the dark
because you taught me that
darkness only covers up the wrong
It is a security blanket for our past mistakes
For our past lovers
We no longer listen to the voices that bring us down
because this love is our latter to the top
This love is reckless
and I would rather live a life
without seat belts
if you're the one driving

This is not a poem about you
So do not so much straighten out your posture
When your name arrives
This is not a poem about you
Or about how you make me feel
Though I would love to talk of it
As I could for hours
How your tender touch makes me shiver
How just being wrapped in you
I feel as if the oceans waves have crashed over
In the most beautiful way possible
It is a rush and it is calming and roaring
With oh, the desire to kiss you
But this is not a poem about you
It is not
About how the craving of lips
Never failed to occur after we dismiss each other
Or how at night the sound of your voice echoes in my head
I replay little moments where it looked like
You maybe, sort of, almost loved me
This is not a poem about you
Although, I wish it could be
I am sorry for writing too many
I am sorry for enclosing my writing to being
Only about you
This poem is not about you
Although, those that are
They are my favorite

You are a rose, so beautifully arranged into sweet succulent taste
So mouthwatering and compassionate
Yet every time I bite into you there is blood in my mouth
Because I always forget
That even the most beautiful rose
Has thorns

my love for you was a thought
a careless one in fact
that I placed inside beautiful picture frames
and hung around me on the walls
I'd built up

those simple ideas of old movies,
soft blankets, quiet breathing,
and late night coffee
the very thought of you
kept me awake

but the picture frames began to crumble
to fall off the walls
the shatter inside it's glass
the painted pictures fell
patiently to the ground
being walked all over by the
hard footsteps of reality

you would never guess that
a simple thought could travel so far
a simple thought could
leave you alone
a single, simple thought
could tear you like a thin sheet of paper
what a tragic thought, indeed

Lost in my mind, I am swarmed by my thoughts like an angry mob of bees who's hive has just been knocked down
Bumping me left and right, up and down
I dream of a mind as peaceful as a meadow,
As clear as a river,
As calm as a lake
A mind where my thoughts flow easily
Although instead I am in the middle of the traffic of my mind
Thoughts like cars rushing by or completely stopped
Laying on their horns drowning out any sanity I had left
These thoughts fight against me and I wonder who could possibly win in a battle against myself
I dream of a mind where my thoughts are wiping away worries and gently push me into cloud 9
I wake from this imaginary inspiration and only feel the sting of the bees piercing my skull and keeping me from ever settling this war with my own head
There is no way to escape from yourself
That is one thing I have learned
And the hardest of all

Thoughts from my least used paint brush:
I sometimes wonder what red taste like
I have seen my keeper bleed
****** knuckles, wrists, and knees
I often wonder if different shades of the same color hold the same feeling
I have never felt orange
Have never knit together sunsets or flowers
I am abstinent from such beauty
I have known blue
Paint bucket skies, blended grace to look upon
I do not want to take credit for what I have done
But I still want to be a part
I want to explore the color green
Plant gardens on woven white paper
Grow tall, thin, wide, strong
Walk in this ecstasy as a gardener
I want to build sky scrapers reaching into the lust of clouds
White, black, grey
I am okay with being neutral if it only means I will sip the savoring make up of this masterpiece
A possibility always seems to be floating next to me
I am only waiting to lifted into nirvana
I will wait forever for just one monument with my name carved into it
And I will not falter, I will not give up
My mouth has gone dry but I am hopeful to once again meet with my love of creativity

Thinking about love is like throwing thoughts into vast emptiness
I used to be a hopeless romantic but now all that remains is the glimmer of love that has fallen out of my chest like a dot of glitter on the ground that catches your eye, you may look at it for a second but eventually you will find yourself stepping on it

I have an addiction
Though I hate to admit it
And cannot audibly say this
I have an addiction
I know the consequences
And I understand the risks
Though walking on a tight rope
Has always been more exciting
Than walking on a bridge
And I figure it always will be

Time is a delicate advocate for pain
We say that it heals all wounds
We say that it opens doors
And we say that it closes them
Time is my only medicine
for a disease like this
I am cutting you off
Like scissors cute paper in
the old childhood game
I am leaving you here
before this burden gets too heavy
Already I find myself stopping
because of the overwhelming weight
My shoulders are abandoning their supporting bones
The blood is draining from my face
I find I do not blush in the name of you
as much as I used to
Time may bring these habits home again
but as of right now
time has delivered nothing
But time
is all I have

Today I thought about you
As I did yesterday and the day before that
How your skin is like velvet
Hair like burnt caramel
Boy with a kiss like a hand grenade
Boy with a touch like a paper cut
Boy with a voice like a church choir
Boy I fell in love with in 2 weeks
At the age of 14 it was easy to love you
I loved every piece of you
Treated you as if you were the last molecule of oxygen inside of a gas chamber
My love for you was so sweet some would call it cliche
Cupid didn't have an arrow large enough to fit this love
You were the first boy to make my palms wet just by walking into the room
Until I took it too far
Finding myself on a bedroom floor
He loves me... He loves me not
I let you have the remote control to my smile
I realized I was never letting myself cry as much as I needed to
You were the boy who I would spend all day getting ready for
Loving you was the last thing I thought I was good at
Until I started replaying these memories like scatched up DVDs
Broken, glitching flashbacks
Your name engraved in my heart and mind
Your voice being the anthem of my soul
Your smile being my favorite picture
You being my favorite tragedy
Today I thought of you
As I will tomorrow and the day after that

I want to know what it is like to fall in love with you
So we look like lovers on television screens
Let me read between your rough drafts
Maybe walk around, my hand in yours, falling in love under the silver circle
Intoxicated by only your kiss
Making it long and sweet and so cliché
Carry me up the stairs
Come to me like an afternoon
Slowly and in fragments of a sunset on fire
Cupid didn’t have an arrow large enough to fit this love so he high jacked a plane and flew it into my chest
The sound of your name is like a sip of alcohol to an AA member
I want to think of my favorite picture of you, only to come to realize that every picture of you is my favorite picture of you
If I could read your mind I would not invade you privacy
I want to know what it is like to fall in love with you
And for you to follow in love with me as well

It is hard to forgive sometimes
and I now understand that statement
to it's full potential because of you
and I know that
one day I will forgive you
I do not know when that day will be
but I promise, one day
I will forgive you
for it **all

It's hard to make due with nothing
I love you and I hope to God
everyday
that you still love me
if you ever did
and here I am trying to make our love reignite itself with nothing to start off with in the first place

Some moments you can just feel, fizzling from out under like a hundred sparklers being ignited for a spectacular light show
"I know I have to tell him," she thinks, "Now or never."
After all there's nothing left to lose but an already fleeting night
She thinks dawn will reach the sky before she tells him
He looks up and smiles and in the moment he's so dear it hurts
She should tell him she still loves him but her lips cannot form the words
Sometimes we hold on to feelings and leave things left unsaid because we are afraid of what could follow
But change is inevitable and life is complicated but it is wild, crazy, and beautiful
So if not tonight, there's always tomorrow
Maybe she will tell him tomorrow

In my next life, I want to be sunlight so I can rest on your skin each morning and throughout the afternoon. I can long for you without rest in the midst of a thunderstorm. This feeling, it’s difficult to explain. Most of it is unspoken, but I’ll try to explain it on paper.

Each day, I want to be the softest thing you taste. After a long day at work, your touch anywhere on my frame will ******* undone like almond flowers.

Some days I feel as though I am going mad. I stare blankly at my computer screen and think, What good are my hands if you aren’t in them?  It’s all quite troubling and often keeps me from getting anything done at all. Even when I am getting things done, somehow, you are ever present, ever flowing from my fingertips.

There is something about drinking coffee with you that is simply thrilling. The way you purse your lips and smile, I unfold in your direction. Perhaps, this is the love that they’ve all been talking about. All of those songs I’ve listened to, books I’ve read; perhaps they have all led me to this point, to this place with you. How dare I presume that I’ve been so lucky?

Surely, this will turn south and we will be nothing more but old stories and photographs; but tonight we are in love. Tonight, we are daring, we are unarmed and tonight, this is enough.

Traffic lights change colors
but only range to three
The sky changes colors
and we can not count
the vast majority of colors that it paints
I think love is more like the sky
We start off in our life
and we see love looking either
lame, painful, or beautiful
Red, Yellow, Green
Three colors
But as we grow and fall into it, we walk out
looking like a sidewalk rainbow
Nothing can wipe off this kinda love
Nothing can die you back to your original color kinda love
This love is one you will discover
if you have not stumbled upon it yet
and it will be lame and painful and beautiful
and it will also be scary and confusing
and it will be overwhelming and sweet
and it will make you feel alive
And one day you will find yourself at a red light
wondering how you ever could have been
a blank canvas

There is no way to train your heart to realize when someone means it
when they tell you that they love you
No way to teach your mind to pick our small details in their posture or
the way their left brow twitches right as the word 'love' slips off of their tongue and out of their mouth
Though it would be easier if we could just know when someone is actually in love with the structure of your soul
Who really understands the meanings behind all of your fears and passions
Someone who does not succumb to pressure and says it to make you feel safer but instead only saying it when it is true because though not hearing it back is hard, hearing it fall and shatter on the ground beneath you is a lot more painful because you have to pretend that you believe it, have to pretend that this is real and the only this falling on the ground is his pride
And in most cases, you do believe this, because you will convince yourself that your love is enough for the both of you to share
Though you know you feel more, it is okay because your overflowing cup will fill up the empty space of his
Do not fool yourself
You will want to do everything is your whole being to make this work but love only held on one side is not love at all
Regrettably, there is no way to train your heart to realize when someone means it when they tell you that they love you
But there is a way to know
Do not believe them when they tell you
Believe them when they show you
That is how you will know

You are graceful and beautiful and tender and hopeful and I am so in love with you and all that you are but I can not stand it any longer because you are not at all in love with me

I am not made to listen to everything you have to say
I am not created to follow all of your rules
You are not the author of my life
You are the delete button
You are the troublesome being who believes they can control
all of my actions, all of my words
but I am not your puppeteer
I am the untrained, non-manipulated,
over-reacting, non sensible, unreasonable
***** who knows exactly what she's talking about
So in case you were wondering
Yes, I do kiss my mother with this mouth
And you can go **** yourself

You can't know how this works unless you've lived it
People can throw out advice like colorful beads at Mardi Gras
But they will evidently always end up stored away
Somewhere they will not be used
Though that are beautiful and desired on some days
I do not wear them as jewelry
I have discovered that loving someone is not black or white
There is grey area everywhere you turn
You start to wonder if you wasted the colors by mixing them
There is no poetic way of putting it
When you love someone and they do not love you in return
It is only a slippery ***** of constant down fall
You often hit rocks and edges
But never hit the ground
There is an adrenaline to it
Falling through the air, bruising your shoulders
The air in times like this is a precious poison
I try not to breathe too quickly
Often hold my breath when you are in the room
I am sorry you cannot hear me when I am talking
It is only because I have found this love
More comfortable
Under my breath

My skin trust his fingers
Like the spider trusting the shoe
While it is on its way down to crush it
I know you are no good for me
But it is so comforting to know
That someone wants me
Even if it is only for tonight
While you are intoxicated
And you do not know what you are doing
Because, though, it sounds troubling
There is hope that you will remember it tomorrow
And maybe not regret it

My addiction to you
You say, at least
Is small
That it is a mere grain of sand
But what you do not understand
To me
It is a mountain
It keeps me awake at night because
I feel I am hurting you
I'm sorry if I am
And you secrete it behind smiles
And jokes
My addiction is strong
And I do not know how to loosen my grip
And for that I am so sorry

Unzip yourself, step out of your façade of a body
Wipe off your coats of paint
I want to see every part off you that you hide from other people
Let me read your rough drafts and kiss your faults
Let your pride fall on the floor
Do no reach to pick it up instead reach out to me
I am holding out both my arms as far as they extend
And I hope that my arms do not detach from my shoulders
From the pressure my body is exerting to touch you
Do not shelter yourself from me, I am begging
I know that we are not ideal or perfect
But some of the best stories come from the worst nights
So let's write poetry together
With the way our bodies loop together like cursive letters
Copy and paste your old drunken stories onto the pillow case
Let me trace love letters on the back of your neck
Give you sweet bruises, and then paint over them so no one will see
I know, I know that we are not ideal or perfect
But do not leave tonight without us uncovering the reason why
we can't be

There is something about unrequited love
A current in you will endlessly twirl
A wind will sweep you up
And at the brink of sensation
You will be shoved under the rug
You will feel disarmed and vulnerable
You will feel shrunken beneath their beauty
They will tease you and keep you hanging
The edge that you are leaning off of is slowly beginning to fall apart and you hear the audible sound of it breaking but you will risk your plummet just to be closer to them
Your heart will thump in your just like the banging on a gong and you will feel it reverberate throughout your body
But the rate of your heart beat does not change reality
They do not love you
The one thing about unrequited love is it risks it all
You could end up shattered like a glass vase
Crushed like dry autumn leaves beneath their feet as they walk toward someone else who is not you
You will feel every crack as it hits you
And they will only hear a soft, distant mumble
as you cry out beneath them
Do not turn and run
Because they might love you one day
That is by far the worst thing about unrequited love
The unknown

When you realize that the person you love
Loves someone else
It will hit you like a plane crashing into a building
You will be unsure if you should jump
Or stay inside, holding on to something that will keep you sane
Have to decide if it is worth the torment
Her name will be in every headline: car crash, robbery, news paper
You will avoid going out so you can pretend she isn't real
Her name is a new born that the family passes around
You will discover that she loves everything that you love
That everyone loves her
It will not be easy, anything having to do with love never is
Love is a word that gets stuck in my throat
You are not sure how to let go
He is the only one who forces your colors to the edges of you
He is what it feels like to fall and land on something soft
My love for him pools like gasoline in the back of my throat, all it takes is a match and I'm set to flames again
When you realize the person you love
Loves someone else
Do not panic
Act as if it is only a change of season
Leaves that were once vibrant in color will turn brown eventually
Act as if it you saw it coming
Act as if you were used to not being loved in return

I knew from the start that stepping into this
Was not going to end in my favor
From the moment you gave me that look of desire
I knew it was only the alcohol
Consuming your thoughts and cravings
There was nothing special about me
I was never the girl you wanted to be with
Just for a night, that’s all I was used for
I was just another hit and run
This is no sweet love story where they meet in a bar
And something magical comes out of it
There is only anguish in this hole I have fallen in
This is no wonderland
I knew that from the very beginning
I was doing something so foolish
But I couldn’t help myself

I never would have originally planned to have fallen so hard for someone who I casually met while hungover in an Izzo's
And that he who once came on so strong would now act as if the day never occured at all

It was just a drunk kiss

Loving carefully
As if the world was holding
Both of your ankles
Ready to pull you down
From underneath
As soon as you mess up

Recently I have been reading a book
It is about two people falling in love
In the worst way
They are playful and beautiful
They are simple and extravangtly in love
Although, neither say it until they break up
This book reminded me a lot of us
We were playful
We were so beautiful
We both tried so hard to impress each other
But there is something different about us
When she leaves, he tries everything he can
To get her back to him
Building bridges, sending flowers, showing compassion
Endeavoring with everything in him to show
There was a love there, if you looked close enough
When I left
You drew yourself away from me
And as much as I hated it
I tried to get you back
But you said no
And I sit in this imaginary story
about two people who couldn't make it work
Reading about how he tried
But thinking only about how you didn't

I want to leave this dark bedroom that you have locked me inside. You told me that this was only for one night and I knew you meant it, yet my heart stepped out of my ribcage and onto these cold white sheets we layed in and declared you wanted me for more than just for a few hours, that you did not mean it. When you did. Proclaiming coyly and discreetly that I do love you despite my drunken misdemeanor. But still you walked out in the morning (like I knew you would) with vague memories of last night's sweet disaster without ever unlocking the door. I knew all along at that is was haunts me the most. Now all I can do is search for a key or a gun to set me free. I will use whichever I find first.

Laying with my body pressed against yours
Hearing your breathing sing in my ears
Like a choir in an empty church
An echo that keeps me awake
Holding onto every last piece of you
Memorizing how your chest elevates
How your brow curls when you're angry
How your lips form the half crescent moon when you smile
How you walk with such confidence and stand in such a way that makes people wonder why you would ever sit down
Your body is a sculpture that I stand in wonder at
The detail astounds me, I am in admiration of such artistry
You are so exquisite, I hope I can show you one day
To see yourself as I do

I never knew if you were so in love with me it hurt or if you never loved me at all

if only I had the second chance
if only the cards were in my favor
if only life were as simple as air
I promise that I would love you
like I have always wanted to be loved
I would give you my sole endeavor
to always keep you smiling
I never want to see a distorted disposition
you deserve to be happy all the time
so if I am not included in your happiness
that is okay
just as long as you are
always
**happy

Fear sits in a chair across from me
Eyes peering through my skull
I wonder what he is looking for
My body tenses
A spark of tingling is lit at the tip of my toes
It climbs
Clawing at my ribcage, gripping my throat
Flooding my mind
As I try and convince myself that the wars in my head
are crafted from divine reason
My body tenses more
Fear, still staring, smiles
Because he's found what he's looking for
A face of boy, sitting there in the vacancy of my brain
And I would have cried
But I've learned that there is no use in getting your face wet
Over a silly, inconsistent boy

Loving you is like explaining where we store and access our memories
Like trying to describe what water tastes like or the color of a mirror
It doesn’t make any sense at all, it is difficult to decipher
Collectively bleeding from imaginary cuts that you do not even know that you gave me, you thought you did nothing wrong
Brushed away the uncomfortable silence on the car ride home
Listened to the humming of your engine as if it could drown out the sound of my heartbeat that quickened at every red light
I am not strong
I am all bark and only bite on accident
I cannot fight back because I am afraid you will abandon me as if you haven't already, I am trying to convince myself that you are still here
Is bravery supposed to feel like you guts trying to slide out of your fingertips
I am so scared to talk to you because I worry you will mistake my name with hers, I am worried you will do it on purpose
It is hard to speak confessions in other accents
So why am I trying to tell you I love you in her voice
I will stop bringing your name up in cups of coffee
Pour in the sugar, let it taste too sweet I will cringe at the bitter aftertaste
I know that this is not going to make me feel any better
I am pacing my steps trying to get away
Will not stop running until I stumble
My legs are crumbling beneath me it reminds me of your walk
How your knees grow weak at the sight of her
I am sorry I am not her kind of beautiful
Forgive me for loving you despite your love for her
And I will try to forgive myself for the same

A whisper punches you face
You never imagined something so utterly transparent would hurt so much, he says,
"I've moved on," and the words slip off his tongue like your feet beneath you as you're standing on the ledge of a building

And I knew I never meant that much to you but, God, I would have tried forever

And after every drink
I stare at these empty bottles
Certain they are full
Of a poem about missing someone
Someone like you

I've learned that when someone asks you if you want to watch the surise, it is not because they have never seen it before, it is because they have never seen it with you

How beautiful it is to stay silent
When someone expects you to be enraged at them
How beautiful it is to laugh
When someone thinks you are going to shed tears

I would stop smoking for you

I imagine sitting in the corner of your studio apartment
A record playing faintly in the background and I can hear you humming
What if I told you I could remember what the weather was like for every single day we've spent together
How do you like your eggs? You ask
I could never take my eyes off you, not even if I went blind
You remind me of old books and tall glasses and dancing on the balcony
I imagine that we are in love, and then I wake up I am still am and you never were