I just don't want to hurt you again.
That's the only thing that's stopping me from telling you that I want you.
The fact that I can't bear to do the same mistake not once, twice, but three times.
Hurting you was the one thing I promised myself I would never do. Hurting you killed me in many ways you don't even want to know. I not only broke you, but I broke myself, too.

I remember you telling me that if I ever changed my mind, you were a phone call away.
I pick up my phone every day and contemplate if I should just call you and tell you how much I miss you, that I miss how we were, that I want you back and would do anything to have "us" again.
But for some reason
I just
Can't.

Don't put him through that hurt again
Don't play with his heart
Don't **** with his feelings
Get it together
You did this
*Deal with it

The smallest of things
Can trigger it off
Pierce a hole through my heart.

When I hear your name
When I see you smile
When you hold her and not me
When you laugh at her jokes and not mine

Stop making me bleed little by little.
Stop giving me pain in small doses
Just pull the **** trigger and be done with it.