I was in the perfect position
everything was in place
then my pulse started to race
and i made a terrible decision
while in a liquid induced trance
that cost me my one and only chance

I did something foolish
she's as beautiful as a fresh bloomed flower
so i told her i wanted more
i gave her my doomed power

so now she wants me no more
the mystery that surrounded me has vanished
any rising feelings for me banished
her past is her fear and her heart is soar

the worst part....
these words that escaped the cage of my heart
through the trap door underneath my tongue
the same ones the threw water upon the embers
of a fire that could have outlasted time its self
came from a night
i don't even remember

From a man
Who has played russian roulette
And pulled the trigger
When he was on the second to last chamber
I'll tell you this
The scariest thing you will ever have to do
In this world of men
Is love again

Love is an infectious disease
and My heart is contaminated
i didnt know you were contagaious
so i forgot to wash my heart
its spreading through my body
from cell to cell like mitosis
white bloods cells are no help
and there is no cure for this
ive passed the stage
where it's just in your heart
It bursts through the blood vessel
and spreads through every vein.
And soon it will seep to my brain
and in the final stage
ill go blind

love is blind but it shows you the way

love is unreasonable but is gives you reason

love is pain but it takes it all away

love is priceless but has a cost you must pay

love is earned but also given

love is right even when its wrong

love is not needed but nothing else matters

love is crazy but makes the most sense

love is....but love

Mind over matter
I got one goal
to make my life better
Before I lose my soul

Like a summer breeze
Or a wanderlust star
A moment passing by
Was all you are

I just want more
Not a lot
Just more than  nothing.

I woke up this morning
After weeks of letting it go
I woke up in mourning
After weeks I havnt let it go
"Does it even matter?"
To me yes
To you no

we sit and listen to music
and i like you
but something just wont stick
every time i mention
a song you dont know
like you dont belong
is something wrong
cause i feel like there's a disconnect
and i dont want to neglect
the obvious attraction
but this really is
quite a distraction
can we make this work
based off ****** atraction
and moments of passion
or is this gonna end cause you dont like r&b
cause if you don't like r&b
how can you like me
when its inbedded in my soul

When ever you walk in
You are the main attraction
the biggest thing in the room
everything else is just a distraction
because who could matter more than you
Stuffed with nothing but love and affection
with everyone you meet
you build a connection
like a gentle giant
you're always there to listen
so basically your ears are huge
and for this you are my muse
your strong powerful and durable
practically immovable
but so **** lovable
you'll never know how much your friendship has meant
your someone i could never forget
and neither could you
Cause you're my elephant.

I thought it was love
i was blinded by lust
i wanted you
i gave you my trust
gave you all i had
but you brought rain
and we started to rust
soon there will nothing left
but dust
if only i could talk to the past
tell myself its not going to last
its never going to happen
you will always want her
But it wont be returned
so give up hope
before you get burned
but i know me
ill do it all over again
...as if i never learned

I wrote you a message
even put it a text
with your name as the recipient
telling you everything I said and did
And what it really meant
but it's just another message
that will never be sent

look i like you
dont act like you dont know
just cause i never said it doesnt mean it doesn't show
cause yes you and i both know
but none of that matters if your answer is no
so tell me the truth
right here
right now
if you want me im here
if not

then let me go

I can't go back
To how we were
Maybe back to our first kiss
But no way in hell
Can I go back to anything before

All i want is one kiss
one chance
to see what it would be like
to have your lips
i know it is forbiden
but i dont care for the rules
your not that kinda girl
and he's not the forgiving type of man
you guys have something special
but you cant deny our connection
that's something yall dont have
i see you for more than you do yourself
and i know my time to make a move has past
feelings refuse to subside
its my fault i let you slip by
our first and last
all i ask for is this
a small piece of everything i missed
just this one

single

kiss                 *(bliss)

You say i dont get another try
you say i dont get a second chance
its just the same song and dance
and you're right
but all the back and forth
and stepping on each others toes
is all part of our first dance
this is just our first life
our only life
and this is my one and only chance
to try and make you my wife

I fall asleep with my phone in my hand
Waiting to hear from you
When I wake up in this world of land
First thing is did I hear from you?
Your always on my mind
because even in the time in between
You're in my dreams

Your love was the sweetest
So your cut was the deepest
Now all my scars are open
and you can see my heart
So dont act suprised
When you see that its broken
Because thats where you shot me

But I know who to blame
I let my gaurd down
I told you where to aim

A song never meant so much
Until it came true
And happend to perfectly describe
Me and you

Oh the irony
It was a song I showed to you
And after you sang the words
They came true

So now we can both sing along
And I wish we never did it
And I wish we never loved it
And I wish I never fell so deep in love with you
And now it ain't no way we can be friends

I have liked you for so long
Always played the same song
But things have to change now
So things might not be the same now
Because i have to let go
And since i never learned how
I have to teach myself
Because i only hurt myself
By loving you
Because whats the point
If you dont love me too
I'm not playing games anymore
I'm done
Because by yourself
Games are no fun
So its time i said im threw
Its time i got over you

Good things come to those that wait
something said by those who believe in fate
I've done my fair share of waiting
a better word is wasting
nice way of saying procrastination
an excuse made out of fear and desperation
lack of confidence and courage
your being held back by hesitation
patience will do nothing but have you wait too long
hold back for no reason
sabotaging your self
you've committed self treason  
dont wait on fate
if you think your being patient
your already too late

I sit here and look at your pictures
Sometimes they make me wanna cry
Because you're so beautiful
In every photo
You're the prettiest one
Seems like you're having fun
But still i cry
As I look through these picutres
Im not in a single one

You really hurt me
But i act like you didnt
Becuase you dont know
You are everything i desire
You turn my heart into fire
A fire so hot it burns
because i cant tell you
I had my chance
But I blew it
I lost my chance
I wanted you
And you knew it
But you didnt choose me
Even though you use keep me warm
In a world so cold
My fire started to dim
when you chose to go with him

My heart is a puzzle.

It's missing a few pieces.

What would you do
If you knew
I was in love with you?



Only one way to find out.

Be careful of those clouds
On which you stand
when reality hits
There's no telling where you will land

I thought we had a connection
A lot more than a mere *******
I didn't tell anyone
but don't say you didn't see my affection
cause who knew?
everyone
everyone but you
now i'm sitting here giving advice
to a friend whose stealing the girl i like
from a man we both know wont suffice
will he?
is he not just a rebound you have found
or was that me?

The old me or the new me
Which do you see
My reputation is quickly changing
My own thoughts are rearranging
Who am I?
If perception is reality
Is it what you perceive
or me
If everyone thinks I did
And that's what they believe
Then I might as well have
But what if I didnt
And your interperpration is just speculation base on false accusation
Would your realize the man I am
Behind all the rumors
Or are you so accustomed to assumption
Unable to see my true character
Blocked by a mere reputation based on hear say
If I may
Come walk with me
Talk with me
Find out the truth
And maybe with you
We can find me

I hate it when my phone goes off
Because every time I hear that noise
A small part of me
Hopes it's you

you've heard stories
that you probably think are true
but i never went home with a girl
until that one night
i saw him with you
and i saw in your eyes
you wanted him too

Im scared to move on
see i can live with this pain
im rather use to this rain
i have always been a hopeless romantic
doing things that don't make sense
like holding on to something that's already gone
but i am so wrong
to be scared to move on
Cause really it's just I don't like giving up
If I think there even a small chance
Like a special circumstance
see im not scared of letting go, getting hurt,
or being alone
im scared of the fact that you could come back
to find me in place that i no longer call home
and im worried i'll miss out on an opportunity
for you to fall back in love with me

Purer than the whitest Winter snow
As many flowers as Spring can bring
You bring more life to my soul
Your heart is warmer
Than the best of Summer nights
And you'r more beautiful
Than all the colors of Autumn
And just like those leaves
More and more each year
I Fall for you
Every passing season

How i really feel
You will never know
my true feelings
I will never show
even if you knew it
you would not like it
the truth? i try to fight it
it might as well not be true
its not as if you like me too
so i keep it to myself
tell nobody else
i take walks in the rain
to ease the pain
i turn on my music
but you dont hear it.
you act as if your blind
pay attention to the lyric
listen to my song
its about you
and where you belong

you use to make me smile whenever i saw you
but now
i make myself smile whenever you see me
how did we get turned around
we were so close
nose to nose
how is it we never kissed
i shot his arrow
but i guess its no good without cupid's assist
it seems you think feeling go away
but thats only when they arnt real
you must not know how i really feel
cause mine will never leave
and i will never say farewell
until i see your are happy
until i know that you will always be well

I didn't want you for myself
Until I saw you with someone else
But what kind of man would I be
If I didn't leave you be
And atleast let you be happy

your beauty is captivating
everything is raptured
all my words are captured
i'm speechless
any talk is reachless
like a clock that doesn't tell time
words are useless
if i can't say to you what i'm suppose to
Like some kind of cosmic joke
every time i get the courage
to speak my mind i choke
i cant breath
everything is trapped underneath
all because you simply showed your teeth
this all happened
because you smiled at me

My mind wondered away
While my heart wished to stay
You tore me in two
Now i dont know what to do
Just know


I still think of you

They say dont judge a book by its cover
But a beauty like you
Must have a story or two
With eyes as deep as the sea
Theres so much they dont see
As i explore your world
Swim through your pages
And find all your secrets
Please pardon my touch
For I may leave a few creases,

Cause i dont just want to know your story
I want to be a part of it

I lay here on floor
Beaten and bruised
I did things i never thought i would do
Yet i lay here lost and confused
Cause i did them for you
But once again, On floor I lay
Feeling useless and used

After everything you took from me
I came back
you took my confidence
I came back
You took my dignity
I came back
You took my self self worth
Still, i came back
Because you were once who gave it all to me
Before you slowly peeled it all away
As i sat still. Stayed.

But i am not just some beaten wife
Who will contiue to give you my life
Because Im not coming back anymore
Im taking back...
How brave I was
Im taking back
How proud i was
Im taking back
How strong i was

But no matter how much i take back
I'll still never be the same as i was;
You made sure of that
But who are you?
To dictate my day to day life
Who are you?
Except the only thing im not taking back

Her name is on my heart
Much more than ink on skin
This is an eternal mark
That is made within
Her name is on my chest
Like a roadsign to her soul
Because the only way to her
Is through me
My body is marked as hers
Not as her possession
But as her protection
I exist as her armor
And i will allow nothing to harm her
For her i will go farther
Than a father protecting his daughter
She is the reason I live
The muse for this art
This tattoo on my heart

Every minute I check
Always pretending
Like I felt a vibration
As I pull my phone from my pocket
And look with hesitation
I stare in the screen
Little green light in the top right
That's what I've been waiting for
That's the clue
I finally got a message
But its not even you

I don't want to see you with someone else
but your heard about something
that I did a while back
and its pointless to try and explain
that I'm done with that
It would be impossible
at this point to tell you how I feel
because there's know way
you would believe it for real
Its time for me to pay for every mistake that I make
and letting you go
is the biggest one

No one has ever given you a chance
They don't see you
they just don't know
how big your heart is
how funny your laugh is
how wide your smile is
or how wild your nights could be
instead they just walk by
and you think you will never have someone
who will call you his


but I see more beauty in you
than the prettiest model in the world
its as if i'm the only one with this luxury
this special ability to see all the beauty
Of the Invisible Girl.

What would you think of me
if you  knew about my past
every mistake and bad decision
do you think we would last
would it affect your vision  
if you knew about every choice ive made
would you be too afraid

what would you think of me
i wonder
would you think me less of a man
if you knew everything
that made me who i am

how can you expect me to open up
somethings, i can tell you now
will bring doubt of character
so my question is how
how can i tell you
when i'm afraid to lose you

What if i've cheated on a woman
opened up someone else's mail
What if i've even been to jail
how much judgement would you hold
if was so bold
to tell you about the old

if i say that the old me dies
when you look in my eyes
how would you feel about me
old or new
which man would you see
i question what would be your view
if you knew
the man i was
before i fell in love

You have made it very clear
but for some reason I can't hear
when I look in your eyes
no burning fire only little white lies
its so easy to see
you don't have for me
what I have for you
so if this is true
and i completely understand

then why can't I accept it?

As Men we are constantly judged on our strength
the more a man bares upon his shoulders the stronger he is
so as men we put as much on our shoulders until we can no longer put any more
we struggle to carry this load and the more we struggle the stronger we become
but again as men struggle is looked at as a weakness
so the strength of the struggle then is not apparent until our shoulders are left bare
and then there are many men who put no load upon their shoulders so they do not struggle
they shed that weight a little too early
and yet they think themselves strong amongst those who struggle
because do you not walk faster with no load upon your shoulders
putting those who are stronger further behind
all this is to tell you that you cant judge a man's strength based on the load he carries, how far he has walked, or how fast he got there.
There is know way for you to know how strong I really am.

As everyone passes you by
like your not even there
screaming silently so no one seems to hear
hiding all your fears and transparent tears
you wonder if anyone even cares
about all the things you've never shared
you wonder if anyone will ever see everything you are
you asked "am i invisible?"

*no, the world is blind

the difference between
first and last
the future or the past

the difference between
a prince or a king
a fling or a ring

the difference is timing

and timing is everything

High hopes hurt the most
so some never get them up

So here's a toast
To never giving up

I want you more than anything
and to get you i would do everything
but the best thing i can do
is the hardest thing to do

nothing