everyone has dark cellars
scattered within their body,
vanishing, pulling down planets
and cobwebs from the forgotten
corners of the room.
please enter my confetti filled castle
and slip elegantly on the rain soaked floor.
laugh at the paper airplanes we used to
make as kids that barely flew straight and
how every grandpa seems angry when they type.
nothing is important unless you allow it to be.
i'll buy a needle and thread and stitch together my words into
the warmest blanket for you to sleep under,
but falling asleep seems like a waste of time, and
we will probably get complaints about that.

grabbing my teddy .....
and munching my cookie...
i curled myself up
on my favorite spot beside the window sill....
to ogle my eyes and look at the prickles of light
...crystals hanging by some invisible thread...
watching the gay lights of some faraway city.....
and dreaming of the fairies and pixies.....
forgetting this cruel world.....
i looked at my playmate....
.ready to hear a new bedtime story.......

far from asleep, anxiously waiting
for the sun to peel away
the husk of the moon so
i know that i survived another
long lonely night.
nowhere feels like home anymore.
i'm stuck in the shadows of my
own thoughts, i am being consumed
by the darkness.
the authenticity of my escape
begins to wear thin and is
beginning to seal shut,
            
               I RUN FOR IT, BUT I'M NOT FAST ENOUGH.

hands covered in white paint,
a paint brush is in my hand.

instead of leaving to be set free from these shadows that haunt me,
i stayed to create something i could have had.

*i am my own worst enemy

I’m not preoccupied with skin you see,
just what’s beneath it.
And it would be nothing more than a lie to deny
just how much I crave to be the blood
that courses through your veins.
Not to give you life or be it,
but to search and discover every inch of you
the very sun may not have kissed.

Mirror mirror on the wall, I won't save you when you fall.
For you only recognise the old me, vulnerable and small.