you've gone away,
to a kingdom unseen,
blessed be.

i hope you feel at peace,
and even though i miss you,
you will feel better where you are now.

you are not exposed to the cruel world,
you will be exposed to doves and angels.

my love has me drinking coffee at midnight
my love has me watching the sunset at dawn and the sunrise at nightfall.
he has me biting my own lip when i catch his scent on my sweatshirt.
my love has me crying in airport terminals and my love has me wishing for the sweet release of death where i can be everywhere at once so i’ll never have to leave his side.
my love has me dancing to the wind chimes and talking to my stuffed animals .
my love has me tracing the curve of his lips in the stars





the one that broke my heart has me listening to our songs
the one that broke my heart has me crying in airports and drinking coffee at 3 am wanting to shake to forget the lies.
the one that broke my heart has me curled up on my floor questioning the past 10 months of my life and second guessing those times i almost died.

i want to eat my words like pills and stand at death’s door until
i can feel my death approaching me to let me be free from this
endless hunger (that’s) making me sick
I want to be happy again
i want to be free again.

The Good Book says not to deceive.
What I say here is true, I believe.
     Upon some reflection,
     When it comes to injection,
It's more blessed to give than receive.

Gay thoughts,
Gay actions,
Bi me.
Well,
I think.
Possibly.
I have gay thoughts,
And gay actions,
But I also have straight thoughts...
Just not straight actions.
Because it sickens me,
Almost.
With most guys,
When they hold me,
I want to pull away.
People just cant understand,
Or they don't want to.
I may like a guy,
But I want the warm,
And soft embrace,
Of a girl.