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degzvdg Mar 2023
I know what kind of face I should make.
Tracing my mind without any place that I could call my home.
I shouldn't be crying between nightmares,
knowing how I should look and what I have to do.
So, I'll continue be in the abyss.

All I can do is to imagine,
that someday this cursed life would come to an end.
Running and falling down, embracing the pain that doesn't heal.
The world is waiting for this moment to come.

Tender emotions that's creating a bug,
consequences made for obeying.
Fragile thoughts while risking my life,
not a single word was spoken.

Uncertain voices are whispering deep inside,
beyond the spiral that I can reach for a helping hand.
I wish I could move forward,
Pursuing to be strong and yet I'm all alone.

This pitch-black bottom of the night will surround me,
deep inside this endless maze.

Do you see me in a mess?
Pathetic as it is, more or less.
Just like a corpse without a soul inside,
I am nothing.
degzvdg Mar 2023
My lips are tired even if nothing is being said yet.
It's always those 'sometimes' that's nailed to my head.
Please stop crying again.
Aren't you the one who will wipe away those tears?
Don't you get annoyed every time you are blamed?
I gained my freedom from you.

While there is still strength left, I want you to know.
Here I am swearing not to do it again,
Here I am ready to leave you,
Here I am and will live alone,
I'm here and are you still there?

Please forgive me for my train of thoughts,
It's always been illogical and selfish.
I know the past is over,
It's not worth doing anymore.
Don't you get bored every time you stare at yourself?

But now I will return again,
Just for a single moment to look at you again.
Here I am standing before you,
Here I am hoping and ready to be hurt.
I'm not going to hold back anymore.

I'm here because of you, I'm sorry, I'm a mess.
I hope you believe me.
Here I am singing confusedly.
Please understand me.
degzvdg Mar 2023
Our worlds moved closer, little by little
Holding hope in our hands
Happy and fearless
Joy and love seemed beyond compare
Eager for each moment together
We were so sure of our bliss
We could do anything

Little by little your words disappeared
Slowly, so slowly all our promises faded
I noticed this faraway look in your eyes
I don't know what to do anymore
Am I going to lose you after all
The sweetness and care that was always there in the beginning
Is buried now in the bitterness of heart and mind
Nevermore to return to the days before

The resentment and pain that we never had before
Now it's inescapable
The question without an answer
Brings tears to our eyes

We will yearn for those whispers in the night
Replaying our every story and every secret
Until the tears are gone from my heart
Until once again
Goodbye until we meet again
degzvdg Mar 2023
I'm trying
To find you,
in our place
And you're not here.

How can I stand up;
Recover
the wounds from
A Love forgotten?

I'm always
thinking about you
I read all of your letters
How can I stop
All this sadness
This tears from;
A Love forgotten?

I'm trying to find all
of the warm and sad days
I'm giving you this letter
that I made from
A love Forgotten.

I will venture into the past,
I will go back to the start.
Where memories were once made;
Naively hoping.
Naively hoping.
Naively hoping.
degzvdg Dec 2022
Unconditional is such a distant word,
But my racing heart, would walk through fire for you.
The sound of my voice won't come out when I stare at you.
Is this what home should be like?

Your auburn skin makes me shake,
My hands produce a river of nervousness bent in the idea of holding your hand.
Gladly, I would jump into the fray with you.
Those eyes would conquer the world,
It gives me a state of comfort that you can only form.
If your smile is the cure, then I have hope.

I'm not the man I used to be lately.
Each letter traded by your smile, I am left voiceless.
Each word tests me, to write about you.
Each sentence constructed, gives me clarity.

I try and compose melodies in those red creases of our hearts.
But my guard has fallen to your song.
You see my darling, my love is true since I met you.
In the garden among the blossoms, you make the flower blush.
degzvdg Dec 2022
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My name in your mouth is like poetry.
No matter self work I do,
A part of me will always miss the home that is you.

I thrive in the idea of us being one,
How can an image so clear begun?
degzvdg Apr 2022
I always dream of you.
Along the lines of joy and grief.
Binded in chains made of comfort.
Filled in the air of you.

Let's talk a bit more, my beloved.
My dearly departed.
Hope guides me,
It's the treasure that I always had.

Embrace me, dearest one.
Forgive me for I am not wise.
The cross that I carry is only bearable,
If I'm with you.

Fare thee well, my star,
my sorrow and my love.
If home is a sin,
I'll go home to you.
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