My body is falling.
The wind is in my ears; a sharp whistle reminding me how fast I am moving.
Nothing to hold on to, nothing to slow me down.
My body is falling
and there's nothing I can do about it
It's terrifying.

My body is falling.
The gravity is strong, pulling me closer and closer to a ground I can't see.
A fall I cannot predict.
My body is falling
and there's nothing I can do about it
It's exhilarating.
:)

I'm seated in the shade, earphones on. No One Does it Better by You Me At Six is playing. The wind is blowing through my light sweater, gently grazing my cheeks. It's a sunny day; the light reflecting off several shades of green from the grass, bushes and trees. There's no noise, rather I can't hear any above the beautiful playlist. My mind begins to relax; it's been a while since I felt this way.
Since I felt such tranquility.
The past three months have been different from the prior eighteen years. Life has changed. I have changed. Almost nothing about me now is the same as it was only five months ago. Yet I'm still exactly the same person. It's funny, this thing called life. I lean back and enjoy the scenery, both around me and within me.
They're strikingly similar.
The sun is shining, but I don't feel the heat. I only see the beauty it brings.
Yes.
It's a beautiful day. I am happy.
Not excited. Not giddy. Not the kind of happy I always thought I wanted. Explosive, over-the-top.... No. I am happy. Seated on this wooden chair, now with The Script's Glowing in my ears, with the wind still dancing around with the hem of my cardigan....
I am happy.

I sit.
Legs crossed, back straight, face blank.
I sit.
But in my mind I feel the madness.
In my mind I see the streaks of thoughts long gone.
I feel the torment of years of living.
I see it. I feel it.
But I do not understand it.
Legs crossed, back straight, face blank.
I sit.