I can't remember
What it feels like
To kiss you.

I've spent months trying to convince myself that I no longer love you.
I've tried insisting that being around you has no effect on me.
Yet I still can't stop myself from thinking about you every day.
Even though I know it's wrong, I can't stop myself from being around you.
Your laughter makes me smile, and in that moment I'm truly happy.
When I lay next to you all I can think about is touching you,
I close my eyes and imagine that your holding me.
As I drift off to sleep, I hope that my dreams allow what reality denies,
But even in my dreams I cannot have you.

I am but
a sparrow
who has flown
through a forest
of darkness
only to come out
with ruffled feathers.

My heart beats
to the pounding
of your fists
on the drywall
of my heart.

My veins pulse
to the beating
of your words
on the windows
Of my mind.

My bones rattle
to the slamming
of your body
on the pipelines
of my flesh.

My "house" crumbles
to the exposure
of your soul
on the foundation
of my life.

I want to
make love
to you
but not
in the way
you'd think

I want to
brush your soul
with my fingertips
and slip in and out
of this world
in your arms

I want to
show you
the galaxy
inside of my heart
and watch you
discover each star

I want to
press my lips
against your body
and write the story
of our love
in sloppy wet kisses

I want to
deeply inhale
your wild spirt
and get high
on all your
hopes and dreams

I want to
wander the maze
in your heart
and hang
my portrait
over the
cracked drywall.

I want to
feel you searching
my soul and
shouting out
in joy at
every piece you find

I want to
strip you
of your insecurities
until you can
bask naked
in the warmth
of my love

I want to
paint our lives
in vibrant memories
of days filled
with laughter
and nights filled
with passion

I want to
have all of you
in every moment
of every single day
for the rest
of forever

And if that
isn't making love.
*I don't want
to know
what is.

Small shoes and,
Tiny dresses.
She holds my fingers.
And he takes another bottle,
From the fridge.
Puts it to his lips.
She's crying,
We're hungry.

I wake up from my dream.
It was not real
She is not real

He opens his eyes.
It's just us two,
And his breath still smells,
Like the wheat.

"Marry me" he says,
Smiling.
I can't.
I can't.
Live my nightmare.

Of course I miss you.
I'll never find another love,
Like the one we knew.
Sometimes I wonder,
If you miss me too.
If we could forget the past,
And start anew.
But then I remember,
All the ******* you put me through.